A Happy Fat Girl's tale of Growing Up

with Estrelia Mateo

     When you are a child you always think about what or who you’ll be when you grow up and as you grow older you start to focus more on the details and less on the abstract notion. When you were a kid you would probably say you wanted to be a doctor when you grew up and as you got older you would start focus on getting good grades and thinking about the best schools you could get into.  Growing up isn’t just about getting older in age, it is also about taking those necessary steps into adulthood.  There are rites of passages in every culture that person must go through to be considered an adult in their community.

     In the Hispanic culture one of the most important events in a young woman’s life is her Quinceañera, which is her fifteenth birthday. While most people see it as a huge birthday party rival to that of a wedding, there are certain ceremonies that each girl must go through to show her ascension into womanhood. There is usually a ceremony where the young girl takes off her shoes that represent her childhood and puts on her first pair of high heels, which symbolizes her adulthood.  I love this ceremony the most because I feel like it really reiterates what stepping into adulthood is all about.

     When I turned fourteen I was looking towards my quinces with so much anticipation as a kid on Christmas Eve. All I could think about how much fun party would be with all my family and friends looking on as I took my steps into adulthood. As we began the planning process everything seemed so real. From the moment I tried on that first dress I realized that after that night I would no longer be look at as a child but as a young woman.  The concept made me a little scared because I knew there were certain things that were required of a young woman that I didn’t have to do as a child. I knew I would have to act a certain way and carry myself in a certain way.

     I knew things would be different when my mom started pushing me to wear more feminine clothes like dresses and skirts. She started giving me tips about wearing make-up and jewelry and where before she would send me out of the room when she was talking with her girlfriends, she began to let me stay around for the conversation. She extended my curfew and even talked about letting me date boys. She even gave me the dreaded sex talk.  She began to talk to me about the importance of being a lady and having a sense of class and decorum.  She taught me that part of being a woman is being confident in your decisions whether they are wrong or right and to always stand up for yourself. The day of my party came and went but the lessons about being a woman stay with me always and when it is time to throw my daughters quince I will past on those lessons so that I can make her first steps into womanhood as solid as mine.