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Issue #4 / June 2004

	Welcome to the Large In Charge Newsletter   In this Issue of L.I.C   Featured Person - Bigger and Better Thangs Entertainment - NYC! Showing how this company works it!   Raqui's Spot - Dating - I'm Scared to tell them I'm FAT! Why some people of size are scared to admit to there online or phone line lover that they are  a person of size!   Jay's Spot -  FAT PEOPLE! - Are we Just Jokes?  Are People of size only cool when we are used for Fat Bashing Entertainment?   Food Relations - Real Men Cook! The Fathers Day event held across the country. What is this company about? Which states will the events be held at?   Art - Super Sexy Cartoons by A.S.  Lets get a little Raw!   Guest Spot -  Hotel Stays for the Big Boned! What to know before you take that trip! Questions you should ask to make you stay the best it can be!   Ask Us - My girl is getting a Breast Reduction! Why don't SSBHM's get more love? How do I keep my SSBBW lady friend comfy on a date? I'm always treated like I am looking for sex! and more Q&A's!  Just ask Raqui and Jay.   Monthly Topic - Fat Jokes! Funny or Not Funny?  How do you feel about the Yo Mama and other type of Jokes that use Fat people as a subject? Register on our Message Board and give us your thoughts!   Events & Pictures - L.I.C.  Delivers Info. on the hottest BBW events and parties. Check out our Promo's, See what is happening near you!   L.I.C. Store - Casual Wear to 8XL coming this month and EBay Auctions!
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Large In Charge June Feature Bigger and Better Thangs Entertainment - New York City
Click the Thumbnails to view Pictures (BBT President) Mike and Raqui On the Right (BBT Vice President) Sonia (BBT Secretary) Alisha & Raqui (BBT Promoter) Rodney  (BBT Promoter) Ed (BBT Promoter) Kathy (BBT Promoter) Jeff (BBT Promoter) Maria Right (BBT Promoter) Carla Left (BBT Yahoo Group Moderator) Sara	New York City is Getting Hotter Every Year!      This past Year the BBW Events Scene was taken by storm, and I mean I hear the THUNDER CLAP when this new company took to the scene. Bigger and Better Thangs Entertainment has not even existed a year yet and they have achieved status it has taken other companies years to attain.  With in there yahoo group they have become a strong force. Three companies formed together to make BBW Entertainment what they feel it should really be.  ENJOYABLE!       When I say Entertainment I don't mean Jamming Bootie shaking parties only. I am talking about Billiard Parties, Bowling, Spades, Video game Tournaments and weekend events.  Nice locations comfortable atmosphere and great people.  The crowd at these events have been quite nice.  All locations have had a good vibe and I believe it is because of the Founders of this Company.      What makes Bigger and Better Thangs Entertainment different from other companies?  THEY CARE!  With nine people working together and working the crowd they make everyone feel at home.  They touch each person who enters and make them feel special and wanted.  People want to go to the events because they feel they have a friend there.  It is very important to them that they make sure people are feeling good and having a good time.  I have to say that I never seen a group like this band together and work a crowd like they do. Location:       The main location for Bigger and Better Thangs Parties is B52's (27 Park Place Between Church & Broadway) every last Saturday of the month.  When you enter you travel one flight of stairs going down into the club area.  While stairs are not always the best for very large persons. If I had a choice, I would want the stairs to be situated the way they are at B52's. Not to narrow, not to wide with wooden sturdy railings on each side. This makes it very helpful for big people who need to hold on with both hands to keep balance.  Since the stair way is not very wide (just wide enough) this makes a comfortable decent and climb.  There is no bar near the stairs and no drinks allowed on the stairs so you don't have to worry about slipping on someone's dropped drink.      The club area has couches around on one side. Opposite the couches is a long bar with stools.  Tables and chairs toward the back and a section for those who hold birthday parities.  There was an area with a photographer who (for a small fee) took pictures so that you can remember the event.  I had a great time.       The Billiard party was another great event.  I watched while people drank, ate and shot a good game of pool.  Men and women alike were showing there stuff.  Twenty pool tables, foosball table and abundant seating is provided.  Many tables with wide square stools are placed about.  The Bar is at the back near the booth seating. Bathrooms are quite big any SSBBW could easily fit and be comfortable.  I watched while spades was being played and I saw some worthy opponents.  Made me wish I was back in a spades type of mind. I looked around I saw that Bigger and Better Thangs had a eye for comfort and that chances are any event at any location, they hold will be comfortable for people of size.  A welcome change was that this even was free to get into.  Bigger and Better Thangs was giving back to the many people who pay for events, by giving them a free night of fun!      I can see this company is going places and I cant wait to see what they do next! Believe me I will be there!   Raqui of LargeinCharge.com raqui@largeincharge.com              If I had to use two words for The Bigger & Better Fam. I would have to pick Impressive & Professional.  Bigger & Better Family is the Official Wu-Tang Clan of the Party Promoters in the BBW/BHM World! And Representing New York City.....It has to take a lot of Unity in business for this to happen! This reminds me of "The Hostile Takeover"...period! I said it! People stuck together to make sure that the BBW/BHM community get the entertainment we deserve. The collaboration also shows strength in numbers and that those fake event planners that continue to the same ol' corny parties better step up their game! "Bigger & Better" in the name alone says it all. If it continues to get stronger, more support, more Bigger, more Better,......"That's What's Up!"      The LargeInCharge Fam. motto is People of Size...Taking Control....so in Business I wish your company much success and positive growth.      The Party? Very Impressive. Maybe it was the DJ or the People or the Food or the Drinks or the House crew, but what ever it is that made your party different...."A brother felt at home and comfortable". It was like that spot where you know the Dj won't play no wack stuff here and there...he just keep the flow going. Everybody of age, nobody tryna to fight, just dancing, mingling, picture man flicking, birthday party poppin, BBW/BHM vendors....Everything was all good! P.S. - Extra Thanks for the Hospitality from the entire staff, the party crew, security is definitely tight....shout out to all the Adorable SSBBW's.   Jay of LargeInCharge.com jay@largeincharge.com         View Pictures from B.B.T. Events in our Events and Pictures section!   Bigger and Better Thangs Yahoo Group
Interview with Bigger and Better Thangs President   www.LargeInCharge.com: Where are you from? B.B.T. Ent.(President Mike): I was born in San Bernardino California but I was raised in South Jamaica Queens www.LargeInCharge.com: Who are the owners/founders of your company? B.B.T. Ent.(President Mike): MIKE, SONIA, CARLA, ED, ALISHA, RODNEY, KATHY, JEFF AND MARIA www.LargeInCharge.com: How did your company get its name? B.B.T. Ent.(President Mike): At one of our first company meeting I had said that the goal of the company is to make Bigger and Better events than any other promotional company out there. Someone said that's a good name for the company and here we are. www.LargeInCharge.com: How did your company begin? B.B.T. Ent.(President Mike): The company began with the merging together of 3 different companies. Trois Ent, DBKS and Prime-time. www.LargeInCharge.com: How long has your company been in business? B.B.T. Ent.(President Mike): Bigger & Better Thangs Ent  will be in business one year in August 2004. www.LargeInCharge.com: Who are the staff members and what are their job assignments? B.B.T. Ent.(President Mike): MIKE IS THE PRESIDENT, SONIA IS THE VICE PRESIDENT, ALISHA IS THE SECRETARY AND THE OTHER 6 ARE EVENT PROMOTERS www.LargeInCharge.com: Tell us about your first event (what kind of event) and was the turn out substantial? B.B.T. Ent. (President Mike): Our first event was last year in August at club B-52's. It was a regular party no theme. The turn out was well. We had some where in the number of 250 - 275. www.LargeInCharge.com: Do you hold events regularly, and how many people attend? B.B.T. Ent.(President Mike): Our main party is held every last Sat. We hold meet & greets and other events through out the month to give people something different to do. Our Sexy Saturday party has any where from 300 - 400 people attend. www.LargeInCharge.com: Do you promote other types of events other than the ones you hold now? B.B.T. Ent.(President Mike):  We are planning events that will be unveiled in the up and coming months. www.LargeInCharge.com: Do you have any major events coming up in the near future? B.B.T. Ent.(President Mike): In August we have a Old Skool Crab feast. This event were doing with several other promoters ( Midnight B.B.T. Ent.  Morning Ent & SCAM Life Ent). This November were planning something with Large N Lovely Ent. www.LargeInCharge.com: What are your long term goals? B.B.T. Ent.(President Mike): To be able to expand from just doing parties. Entertainment can mean so much and the only way companies can survive is by being diverse. BBT is a legit company that wants to provide all types of Entertainment. www.LargeInCharge.com: Tell us about your location and if it is comfortable for people of size? B.B.T. Ent.(President Mike): B-52's is located @ 27 Park Place Btw Church & Broadway. It's a nice size with couches and chairs. It's BBW friendly www.LargeInCharge.com: Who is your house DJ? B.B.T. Ent.(President Mike): We don't have a house DJ instead we rotate different D.J.'s to give people a different vibe. We believe in giving people there monies worth and all of the D.J.'s we have used have been the best that NYC has to offer DJ CHRIS LOVE, DJ KAOS, DJ SUPA DAVE, DJ LADY D WELLS, DJ MARLVS (from Shadyville Ent). www.LargeInCharge.com: Do you promote events in other states? B.B.T. Ent.(President Mike): Yes we do. We have a large number of people that come from other states. N.C., V.A., D.C., T.X., W.I., P.A., and I.L. www.LargeInCharge.com: Being that your company has several partners, is it easy to get along when making business decisions or harder? B.B.T. Ent.(President Mike): No harder than any other corporation. Decisions are made by vote and are brought up in our board meetings. Like any company there are times when people do not agree with one another's ideas but at the end of the day it's all love. www.LargeInCharge.com: What is the response you receive from the BBW / BHM community? BIB'S. Ent.(President Mike): We have been well received. We get calls almost daily from other states from people wanting us to come out there and help them. www.LargeInCharge.com: How can the readers at www.largeincharge.com help support your company? B.B.T. Ent.(President Mike): By supporting us in what ever we do. LIC can help us by not forgetting us when they blow up. www.LargeInCharge.com: Do you have any other companies or entrepreneurs that you admire or collaborate with? B.B.T. Ent.(President Mike): I admire anyone who is in this game for the right reasons and not just here to make a quick dollar and exploit people. Were willing to collaborate with anyone as long as it's good for the people that support us and the company were doing something with has good business ethics. www.LargeInCharge.com: What is the key to giving a successful People of Size Event? B.B.T. Ent.(President Mike): Being honest, having a love for what you do, giving people their monies worth and promoting, promoting, promoting. www.LargeInCharge.com: What are your individual skills or company roles? B.B.T. Ent.(President Mike): I have good people skills for a profession I'm in Marketing and Sales so I bring that aspect to the company. What makes BBT a success is the diverse background of the other promoters everyone is good at something and we gel good together. BBT would not be here if it weren't for Ed, Jeff, Rodney, Sonia, Carla, Maria, Kathy and Alisha I want to take this time to thank you all for doing what you do. www.LargeInCharge.com: Tell us about your clients? B.B.T. Ent.(President Mike): Our clients age range from 25 - 35, professional and all races are welcome. www.LargeInCharge.com: Who are some of your business or influences that you admire? B.B.T. Ent.(President Mike): Bill Gates, Donald Trump, Ray Kroc. Promotional companies I would have to say Black & Gold. I have some personal friends that are with them and I counsel with them on a regular basis. www.LargeInCharge.com: Give one sentence that best describes your company? B.B.T. Ent.(President Mike): BBT is a company that's striving to bring BBW's the hottest events in and around town. Were looking to bring the BBW community to the forefront of society by showing people that big is beautiful.   Thank you Bigger and Better Thangs for being the type of company you are.  We know you will be successful!  Wishing you the best LargeInCharge.com   Hope you enjoyed Our Feature this month please send comments to: Raqui: raqui@largeincharge.com  / Jay: jay@largeincharge.com

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Raqui's Spot

From a Female's Point of View

This month's subject:

Dating – I’m scared to tell them I’m Big!

Email Raqui:  raqui@largeincharge.com

This Months Subject: Dating – I’m scared to tell them I’m Big!

NOTE: In this article we are talking about hiding the fact of weight when talking to a person through a phone line, dating site, personal ad or other means of finding a date in which you do not meet in person right away.

    Even before I started the Large In Charge newsletter with my co-owner Jay, I often talked to women and men about dating.  Finding the right person to date for, the right reason.  In the past two years I have found dating to be 80% of what people talk about or want to talk about.  I often had conversations about where to go on a date, what to do, and how to handle a dating situation from a big persons perspective.  In the many conversations that I have had online and offline, a large amount of Big People just straight out asked me.

“WHAT DO I DO?”  “I haven’t told him/her that I am a fat!” “What if they don’t like me anymore?”

I in turn asked them, “Why would you want someone who won’t accept you because of your size?”  “Why didn’t you tell them right away that you are a big person?”

“Well I was getting to know them and now I am scared to meet them?” or “I thought if they got to know me first they would like me even though I’m big and now I’m not sure?”

     After long talks with both men and women, I found the reason why big people are hiding the fact they are big.  FEAR, ACCEPTANCE, & REJECTION!  One is the fear that they will not be accepted, then there is the Fear of being Rejected.  Both of these fears stem from low self esteem which most big people have in some way shape or form, me included.  The most confident Big person in the world has a little voice in there somewhere saying, YOUR STILL FAT and you can try to think different, you can try to say and act anyway you want but I'm still here telling you FAT IS UGLY!  You can ignore the little voice, and you can push it away but it always comes back.  Usually when things don’t work right or your not feeling good. We always look for the imperfection in ourselves so that we have a reason why life didn't turn out right.  Society sees fat as imperfect and the little voice of society, family and friends will keep with you telling you that everything is wrong because you’re fat.

      Then bring in some of the other things we might have low self esteem over,  “I’m to light, I’m to dark,  My complexion looks like crap, My breasts are to big or to small (In a man’s case, DAMN I have breasts!),  My butt is to flat or to wide or to much period,  I’m not the right race, I’m not smart, I’m not pretty/handsome enough or I’m to pretty/handsome, I’m to tall or to short.”  And a million other reasons to hate who we are.  We will never be satisfied because humans always want what they don’t have. We are looking to be NORMAL or IDEAL, and unless we are completely perfect (which no one is, that just doesn't exist) we are unhappy.  So we are always looking to be something we cant be, and  on top of all those basic reasons we have to dislike ourselves, now we are fat too!

     Take all the reasons why big people can have low self esteem, squeeze it into this big package and present it to a world who hates us.  Some of us are saying “HELL NO!” "I am not going to tell them I'm Fat." "I will just go around it and maybe they will see past the fat?"  Then reality hits, “They found out I’m fat and they don’t want me anymore!” 

      Well look at what you’re doing!  You are doing the very thing we always complain about, FALSE ADVERTISING!   Do you really think that a person who doesn’t like to date big people will suddenly change?  Sometimes you might get a few that do but they are at least big curious!   You have to let people know who you are.  If being fat is so negative for you, that you can’t tell other people, what are you going to do to change?  And if you can’t or won’t change, what are you going to do to accept yourself?  Maybe you shouldn’t be trying to date until you can be a proud big person.  How can you expect someone else to accept you when you can’t accept yourself?

     Denying your Fatness is the same as denying your race and culture; it makes up who you are.  We have all met someone who told us they looked like this or that and you stand in front of them saying, DAMN YOU’RE A LAIR!  Do you want to be a lair?  Do you want to misrepresent yourself?  Do you want to false advertise?  Dating is a big business in this world.  Not only dating websites and phone lines. Movies, entertainment and restaurants and flower shops would all have a big loss if we didn’t date and go out and get to know each other.  Why would you want to try and talk to a person, get to know them, have meaningful conversations, to never get the good stuff, THE DATE!

    

Words from Readers about Finding the right person to Date:

     Raqui, You know who this is.  I’m somewhere in-between BBW and ssbbw.  As you know I always had a problem with men and dating.  I was talking on the internet to this guy who I like sooooo much.  We had been talking for a year.  He knows I'm a big girl but he thinks I am about 150 lbs less than what I am.  He has only seen a picture of my face.  We have done the card thing, the letter thing, and the chatting thing.  He always said he was going to come see me and he did. He called me from the airport and left a message on my machine saying he bought a ticket and was on his way.  I got home and heard that message. I was scared shitless.  When he knocked on my door I didn’t want to open it and when I did he was happy to see me but surprised.  I was not the woman I told him about, I made myself sound much smaller than I really am. He did stay the weekend, nothing went on between us, and we had so many steamy conversations in the past year I took that to mean that he wasn’t attracted to me.  Before he left he told me that he liked me, I told I don’t think he does because of my weight.  He told me that he doesn’t have a problem with weight. But he does have a problem with woman who is not confident.  He also can’t stand a person who lies or manipulates a situation. He said we could still be friends and he kissed me on the cheek and left.  At first I was insulted by his statement but now a month later I look back and realize if I had just told him from the get go that I was 400lbs and gave him a picture of me full sized.  We could have been very happy.  I lost out on this one.  He now is talking to a SSBBW who is bigger than me but more confident.  Why did I hide?  Just thought I would send this to you and let you know I am going to change.

You know who this is from Mass

 

     I’m really tired of women sometimes. They say they want a good man but only if he looks like a stripper.  You know, I work and I’m a decent guy, Ok I try to be decent.  I am a quite person, cant cook for shit.  But I make a nice little salary that I can pay my rent and bills and take my woman out to dinner and a movie once every week or two.  But I don’t got a woman.  I’m short and I'm a PR (Puerto Rican) and I’m fat. I wear like a 4X and I'm short so you know I'm big.  When I talk to women they love to go to dinner with me and kiss on me and pat me on my head. But none of them want to keep me.  I ended up lying to this one girl about myself and when we were suppose to meet up, I sat on the bench across from where she was and just watched her.  I acted like I didn’t know who she was and went over and asked her if she needed help. She looked like she was looking for someone.  She said she thought she was stood up. So I said. Can I take you for coffee? She said sure. We laughed and had a lot of fun together.  After a little walk I decided to confess and tell her who I was.  When I did she looked at me and said. Is this some game you’re playing?  I said no that I thought she wouldn’t like me because of my size.  She said don’t judge me, along with a few other things, and walked away.  I called her a few times but she said that she didn’t like being made a fool of.  She took me wrong but I couldn’t say anything, it was pretty sneaky to do that. 

Marcus

     This is a hard thing for me to do.  I am writing to admit I have a problem.  I am ashamed of my weight.  I have always been ashamed when I was a BBW and now that I am a ssbbw it seems like the shame is on overload.  I have been taken advantage of many times and really have never been on a real date.  I didn't know that people still did that.  Go out just to keep company and for a guy to get to know you, with out sex at the end of the night.  I have been put in the position of "Block Buster night Buddy" for years.  I am always miss reliable, always home, always by the phone, always bored like I'm just waiting for someone to pass by.  I have lied many times to men or just happened not to tell them my weight.  I use the phone lines and internet chats for entertainment but then never meet anyone because I'm scared that they will not like me anymore.  I am self hating and I want to stop.  Your newsletter has helped me in some ways be proud of myself, I hope to keep working to the day that I can be as proud as you are!

Trying to be Real

OK SO WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO?

     In the world of phone lines and online dating. You have to be yourself and not hide the fact that you’re a big person.  You’re wasting time trying to talk to someone who is not interested in you as a whole.  To have a good relationship the person has to like all of what you are.  When you continue to not tell the people you come across that you are a big individual you’re setting yourself up for rejection after rejection.  We all have a preference and you have to find someone who is interested in you and what you’re offering.  Trying to make someone who likes slim men or women date a big person is like trying to make a straight person date someone of their own sex.  It just doesn’t work!  Doesn’t matter how much personality the individual may have. If your straight your straight.   A homosexual, lesbian, same sex relationship will not work.  Appeal to the people who appreciates who you are!

This might sound crazy but I deal with dating like getting a job.

• If I am interested in a *position at a certain company* (Dating a certain person).
• I put in an application and *represent myself and my skills* (TELL THEM WHO I AM Physical and Mental). 
• If the company is *interested they will call me for an interview and maybe hire me* (Have some dates, get to know each other and maybe a relationship).
• If they are not interested  *I go about putting in applications at another establishment* (move on and find someone who wants what I have to offer)

   It is as easy as that, just say it, I’m a big person, Tell them how big.  Say, If you don’t like big girls/guys tell me now because I don’t want to waste your time or mine.  You might have to meet face to face sometimes for them to see if they are interested in each other. There are many people who date large people but Super Sized women or men might be a bit much for there tastes. I got to be real,  We all know we need to find that person who likes our own individual style.

     Dating a Super Sized man or woman takes on a whole other way of thinking.  Many Super Sized people can’t walk very long distances and need to walk slowly. Public transportation is probably out for most Super Sized people, so your date should have a car or cab money. Some Super sized people don’t do well with climbing steps.  They can’t fit into just any space or seating. Proper seating and locations are necessary. You need to point this out if you’re going on a date with someone. They need to know what you need. It is always best if you have checked out the areas near you this way if the person doesn’t have a car. Cab fare is not too bad.

     If you’re Super Sized (like me) and you want to meet a potential date, try a simple technique that I have used.

 The Brief Meet and Greet

• When speaking to a person you haven’t met yet. Tell them about yourself including the fact that you are a big woman or man.

 

• You need to strain out the weeds! If you got 20 people you’re interested in you need to strain out the weeds.  Start by getting rid of those who don’t date people of size and who are not open to it. The only way to do this is to TELL ABOUT YOUR SIZE.

 

•  You will come across those who date BBW women make sure to tell them you’re bigger than the average BBW (if your a SSBBW).  They will probably want to meet you in person to see what you’re talking about (not everyone knows what SSBBW means). Start to meet face to face. You are also getting a chance to check them out (remember you have a choice also, they might not be your type!)  If they seem unsure because of the weight issue you should do this before you get any type of attachment through conversation. 

 

• Meet at a general location, Do not say you’re going out, do not meet for lunch, this is a no pressure situation.  Just take a moment to check each other out.  When the person approaches you and you see that you’re interested, stand up turn around and say. This is me, you either like it or not, which one is it.

 

• Some men and women don’t want to hurt another persons feelings or want to get there feelings hurt by words such as “Your to big for me.” Or “Your looks are not my type.”  Used key words when meeting, If one person doesn’t like the looks or size of the other person they would say, “I have an appointment, so I need to go.”  That means you’re not interested. An easy polite let down. It works 

 

     To sum it all up really easy.  Go after what you truly want, what all of us want, a person who loves you for everything you are. Someone who finds you attractive, sexy, smart, bright and funny. Someone who appreciates every inch of you.  If you’re not telling people everything about yourself then chances are you’re not going to find that special person.  BE BIG BE PROUD… SAY IT LOUD!  Stop hiding behind the internet and phone lines.  It is time to come out and enjoy life!

 

Thank you for Reading Raqui's Spot!

Would you like to give your comments?

Email Raqui:  raqui@largeincharge.com

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Jay's Spot

From a Male point of view.

This months Subject :

FAT PEOPLE - are we just jokes?

jay@largeincharge.com

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Food Relations

What does food represent to us?

     Welcome to Food Relations.  The subject of food and people is an ever present concern.  What you eat, when you eat, how you eat, why you eat.  We all have to eat at some time or another.  Most of the time we eat for nutrition.  But food also makes us feel good.  The taste, texture, feeling, smell of food.  Some use food for release, or as a weapon for control.  Here in this section of our newsletter we hope to talk about the many aspects of food and get feedback from our readers of what food means to them.  Also how they view food.  So now sit back and read what this months food subject is about. 

The Large in Charge Staff

Event cities check the Website for more information on events in the below locations www.realmencook.com Atlanta Chicago Dallas Detroit Los Angeles Miami New York Philadelphia Houston Minnesota   Fill out the weekly update section at www.realmencook.com and you'll get regular national updates.

Real Men Who Cook      If you want to talk about a pleasure, have a darling handsome man wear an apron and serve you a meal!  We all know that a man taking his time to cook for you is one of the most endearing things you can experience.  Let that food be good enough to gobble with abandon and you might as well die on the spot!  It is not getting any better than that.! In this time and day cooking is not woman’s work.  It is something that many men are doing and doing well.  They put me to shame.  This month we want to talk about an Org. that is doing something special this month. www.RealMenCook.com HISTORY      Kofi and Yvette Moyo, CEO and President of Resource Associates International, Ltd. began REAL MEN COOK in 1989. It has since grown from its humble beginnings with the couple and a small team executing this program one Father’s Day in Chicago, to a burgeoning presentation that was executed in five major markets in 1999 and ten in 2000 through 2002. Houston was added recently, adding to it's reputation as the largest and most meaningful national Father’s Day celebration in the country.       Millions catch the spirit of the event. It's become an annual media engagement, attracting leading TV, radio, magazine and newspaper coverage throughout the country. The event steers proceeds to non-profits and now partners with charities. We document $800,000 net to nonprofit partners and who have sold event tickets and served on planning teams since the event inception.  PURPOSE      REAL MEN COOK is a family celebration, observed on Father's Day. It honors the entire family no matter the configuration. Women are delighted by the positive role models and take the opportunity to invite husbands, coached, teachers and others who positively contribute to the community or family. The celebration takes place beyond the events in the eleven cities, but new family and extended family traditions are growing from the spirit of REAL MEN COOK. Most men are helping with the family, getting the kids off to school and otherwise contributing to family harmony, but never get acknowledged for their contributions. Finally Father's Day is becoming meaningful and women and children are the beneficiaries.       We know that food is culture in most communities. Cooking and serving is a way of nurturing the family. Therefore, REAL MEN COOK connects and influences all who hear the message, whether on TV or the radio or up close and personally tasting some of the more than 1300 different dished served to event guests.      We are often presented with stereotypical portrayals of our families and REAL MEN COOK attempts to correct the stereotype of an absent father with the many, many examples we see in our communities of men who go all out for their families. Men who work to financially support their families, men who participate in community life and REAL MEN who chauffeur their children around, help with homework and cook.       REAL MEN COOK is a delight for women who often see cooking as a job and are entertained by the men who demonstrate their ability to serve something unforgettable up to the masses. REAL MEN COOK is a food tasting event and much more. It's the spirit of security, pride and satisfaction that comes with knowing that men are "giving up" Father's Day to participate and to demonstrate that real men care that makes it exceptional. African American men launched what is not a Father's Day tradition, but men and families of various ethnic backgrounds share the spirit.

 

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Large In Charge Guest Spot

We want to hear and see your talents!

One of our favorite parts of the newsletter.  The Guest Spot is for our readers to submit there talents to be viewed.  We want to see all you wonderful supporters making moves of your own.  If you write poetry, short stories, commentaries, or just thoughts in general, please submit them to us.  If your a designer we want to see pictures of your clothing.   We would love to include your talents in our newsletter.  We hope you take an active part in the L.I.C. newsletter.

NOTE: The Opinion of the writer is not always the opinion of The Large in Charge Staff.  We support the Right to all views.  We do not Condemn or Approve writing based on our personal thoughts.  We approve writing based on if the subject is a concern for the BBW / SSBBW / BHM Community.  Thank you for your writing and please send in those articles!  - The Large in Charge Staff

Hotel Stays for the Big Boned!

 

About our Guest Writer

Name: Goddess Patty

Age: 39

Ethnicity: Hispanic

Location: Southern California

Goals: To live my life as happy and healthy as

possible. Spread the word about how important it is to

be confident about yourself no matter what size you

are.

Hobbies: Sewing, cooking, playing pool, swimming,

dancing, spectator sports, long drives, fine dining

 

     I'm a ssbbw from sunny southern California. I am 5'8 and approximately 600 lbs. I'm a very confident and down to earth person. I was taught from a rather young age by my father to love myself for me. We all come in different shapes and sizes but our true beauty comes from within. I've carried this attitude my entire life and so far so good.

 

     As the years have gone by and 4 babies later, I have grown to the size I am today. I feel very pretty and sexy at this weight, as I was, when I was only 160 lbs at the young tender age of 18. So I have lived the thin life and the now FAT life and I'm still the same person. My only problems in life now are basically about comfort. When you are this size, not all normal things in our environment are normal anymore. For example chairs, couches, beds, doorways, etc.

 

     In the profession I am in, I do a lot of traveling. When booking my hotel rooms, there are many questions I ask first and foremost. Do you have a handicap room? Do you have a king sized bed in the room? Are there any rooms with handheld

showers? These are a few I ask. Now let me tell you about my last trip to Vegas. I had a suite at the Mandalay Bay. You talk about a beautiful casino and hotel! Totally breathtaking BUT....this is the first hotel I've ever been to that didn't have one chair, sofa, bench, etc. to sit on anywhere. Not even in the lobby where you check in. I had been dropped off at the front of the hotel to check in and found out that yes you check in there but have to walk completely around the entire casino and shops to get to the hotel elevators. This is when the trek began and my enduring sadness to find out there

was not one place for me to stop and catch my breathe and rest. It was utterly amazing. The only seats in the entire place were at the slot machines (of course). I guess this is how they get people to gamble.

 

     Well throughout my hour long trek to find the elevator, there were glass display cases along the way with boxing championship belts being displayed in them. Well I left my entire body prints on these glass cases since that was the only place I could actually rest for a few minutes. I was quite the site to say the least! LOL

 

     Anyhow, it was one of the worse experiences for me as a super size woman at such a beautiful hotel. Truly a shame! Do they think people don't get tired and just need to rest a minute? What would be nice is if Large In Charge could check

out the NYC hotels. Find out which ones are BBW friendly and which ones aren't! I travel quite frequently to NYC and I would hate to book a room at a hotel that had this same setup as the one in Vegas. These are very important things I have to think about prior to traveling and when you are this size its all about comfort!

 

     I think this new venture for Raqui and Jay is wonderful and I wish you much success to the both of you. I feel honored that I had the guest spot this month. I look forward to your feedback! Keep smiling!!!

 

Goddess Patty

www.goddesspatty.com

goddess@goddesspatty.com

 

 

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Tips for Big Bodies and Traveling!

 

     Thank you so much Patty and I think these issues should be resolved.  I can give as many tips as I can as far as traveling and what is in NYC.

 

Are you a Writer? Send in your Article to raqui@largeincharge.com

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Large in Charge Art

Beautiful images of BBW's / SSBBW's /BHM's

Send in your art work to be displayed and get featured in our Newsletter!

Email Raqui: raqui@largeincharge.com

The Artwork of A.S. The greatest new BBW / SSBBW artist! First Seen here @ LargeInCharge.com        SUPER SEXY BBW ART COMING!   Vote at our message board in the Voting Polls section. Tell use which image you like the best!       Check out more of A.S.'s work in our BACK ISSUE		CLICK ME!!!!
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Large In Charge - Ask Us

Ask Raqui and Jay the questions you always wanted to.

Get the female and male point of view.

Ask Raqui and Jay your questions

raqui@largeincharge.com                                                                                       jay@largeincharge.com

Dear Raqui

Dear Jay

Q:   Dear Raqui & Jay, I Love your newsletter. I have a question though. What ways can I offer "support" (pardon the pun) for my girlfriend who wears a 44FF cup? She's thinking of getting a reduction, and while I understand that she's uncomfortable and embarrassed about her size, I don't want her to get unnecessary surgery.

Cup runneth over

A:   Well If I was you, I would find out why she really wants the surgery. Many women with very large breasts just don't have the proper shoulder and back structure to hold the weight of them. If this is the reason just be there for her. She is in a lot of pain and getting a reduction will help her a great deal.  If she is doing this surgery for the look, then I would sit down with her and explain how and why you love her big breasts.  You can give your opinion but it is not law.  Remember this is her body and she is probably thinking how clothing will fit her better, how much more confident she will feel if everyone is not bugging there eyes out over her breasts. If she needs to do this to feel better about herself and if it happens to also have a physical benefit, Just be there and remember to support her in her decision. She has to live with it and while your her boy friend yes you will live with it also. But she is not going down to a cup.  you will still have lots to hold and play with and imagine how much more she will enjoy the attention because she is more confident and comfortable.

Q:   Hey LargeInCharge.  I want to know, How do you tell the difference between a BBW lover and a BBW sex stalker?

bear essence

A:  Well Sex Stalkers are usually just after sex.  They attend parties many of them just because they think big girls are easy.  Some of them don't even attend parties, I have seen men who party at regular clubs and if they don't score they hit the BBW spot when the party is supposed to be over and wait in the parking lot, lobby of the hotel or hallways.  They don't even attend the parties.  They ask you for room numbers and if your lonely, If you want company etc. There are so many ways and excuses they use to get into your bed or hotel room.

     A BBW Lover will usually talk to you, spend time, maybe buy you a drink. But there main purpose is not trying to bed you for the night but spending time with you and setting a date to meet at another time to get to know you better.  That is a real BBW lover.  Some times stalkers disguise themselves as lovers also to get there loving at a later date.  If a man comes on to you and gets to sensual and sexy to soon, be careful it is probably part of his plan to bed you.

Q:    Raqui and Jay I have an observation. When going to the parties, I see some prejudice, it may be me but its there. Now everybody loves the BBW and the ssbbw, but I've seen some of those very ones look down on the SSBHM (Super Sized Big Handsome Man). It seems that they are only looking for the perfect man or the almost perfect man. They forget how when they go to the regular parties how others would look down at them. How they would look beyond the body and get to know the person. But when it comes to a ssbhm you wont give him the time of day unless you are going to try to use him. Where is the real love of us ssbhm? We have a whole lot of love if they would let us show it, and it doesn't have to involve getting busy all the time. I know it might take a lot for two large people to get it on but there's other ways to satisfy one another.

Scott

A:   I have to agree and disagree. I think the response you get is from what you give.  I have seen many SSBHM that get a lot of attention from the ladies.  I see they are usually regulars and people have gotten to know them.  As a SSBBW woman I didn't like the parties very much until people started to recognize me for one thing or another, then I had people coming up to me and just wanting to give me a hug or talk.

     As far as romance, I am sure some ladies use SSBHM's just like men use BBW's and SSBBW's.  You just cant allow yourself to be used.  You also cant judge a person for there personal preference.  You cant make a big woman date a big man and have a relationship just like you cant make a skinny one do so.  You have to find someone who is going to like you as a SSBHM.  Their are many BBW and SSBBW how like SSBHM's you just have to get out there and give those women a chance to see you.  Continue to go to the parties, be friendly hold conversations.  Maybe try a date line.  I guess you will have to do what us BBW and SSBBW have been doing for years.

Q:   I would like to first compliment you on the site it is awesome!  My question for you -  Why is there more of a social acceptance of BBW & SSBBW in NY, ATL, DC, IL, OH but in the heart of the Midwest it is not? I live in Indiana and there are no social groups or night spots that support the plus size. And the MEN definitely do not sway toward the plus sista's. I did go to a BigBoi party in Chicago and was amazed by the reception. The irony was that I can travel less then 200 miles outside of my state and find a total different attitude towards BBW's. It makes me wonder how diverse we really are. 
 
MzLovelyEyes

A:   MzLovelyEyes, I don't live in the Midwest, so I can only give a guess.  I would guess that the people in Major cities are the ones starting the events.  One probably because major Cities have many clubs and places that people gather and go to for fun. So the ones who start events try to find a Central location that is easy for many people to go to.  This is not the first time I have heard this though.  If you have a few BBW/SSBBW friends maybe you can get together and start some type of after hours group in your area. I bet once you advertise the big girl lovers will come out.  I have heard in more rural areas it is harder to get together because there is just to much space to travel. In cities yes we are on top of each other but that means you have more of a chance of bumping into many types of people with different tastes.  I would try a simple BBQ date or after hours drinks occasion and just throw flyers everywhere along with internet advertising and see what happens.

Q:  Hi Raqui,  I wanted to know how do you handle online messages from weirdo's?  I get a lot of guys trying to hook up with me for things other than conversation.

Weirdo Watchette

A:   Hi girl, Some may say I am rude but right away, when someone says Hello to me, I say "Hello, Who are you? or Who is this?"  I ask them what they want and if they say something stupid I tell them that I am not interested, if they continue to bother me I block them.  If someone seems ok at first and says they just want to chat I will say. OK I am going to break this down to you really quickly and start to list what I don't do.

EXAMPLE:

I don't cyber chat. I don't web cam, I don't want pictures of your penis, I will not send you pictures of me, especially naked ones, I am not trying to find a fuck date for tonight, ETC

   If the person is decent they will say something like, Hey I'm not like that or no I don't want that, I even got HEY WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE ARE ON THIS INTERNET!  If they act stupid block them. Don't be afraid of the BLOCK BUTTON!  Hope this helps you Miss Watchette

Q:   Raqui, I just want to say your BEAUTIFUL! My question is, how can I go up to a BBW or Super Sized Lady, and talk to her when they are surrounded by there girlfriends?

Lover of Large Ladies

A:   Well you can try a few  methods.  One,  would be to wait until the lady your interested in is alone to approach her.  Two, walk up the ladies and say, "Hello, My name is ________ I wanted to know if I could sit and talk to you all."  Give the lady your interested in more attention. Then if she seems interested ask her or the other ladies if you can steal her away for a few moments.  Of course if your not as bold, maybe you can carry your business card or personal card with you and write a small note on the back and hand it to her, back side up so she can read it.

EXAMPLE: Your a very beautiful lady, If your interested will you come over and have a drink with me?

     Maybe leaving it in her ball park will make it easier for you.

Q:  Hi there Raqui, I wanted to ask you, how do I go about finding a nice place to take a SSBBW. I haven't taken one out before, lot of them want to stay at home and be comfortable but after reading your articles I see these ladies have to get out.  Plus I would be a proud man with a sweet SSBBW holding my hand! What can I do to make sure that the date is as comfortable as can be?

A:   You have to set your mind to what I call "THE LARGE IN CHARGE SETTING!"  SSBBW's need to be taken in a car or cab to the location.  We want to be treated with respect not looked down on. SSBBW's feel most comfortable in booths with tables that are not bolted down. This way you can pull out the table enough to accommodate any size woman. Chairs with out armrests are second best.  We want understanding, many of use are shy about needing special accommodations (especially in front of a man) so an understanding man can help smooth the situation.  Look for locations in your area or her area. Check them out ahead of time to see if they are a proper setting.  Always have at least two locations picked out.  In case one is full and the wait time for the proper table is long.  Big women would rather sit and wait for the right table, than to be in an uncomfortable one.  Be the man and take the lead, let that women know you will not settle for less than what is comfortable for her.

Q:   Dear Raqui & Jay, I Love your newsletter. I have a question though. What ways can I offer "support" (pardon the pun) for my girlfriend who wears a 44FF cup? She's thinking of getting a reduction, and while I understand that she's uncomfortable and embarrassed about her size, I don't want her to get unnecessary surgery.

Cup runneth over

A:   Sounds serious man! All I can say is do the research and educate yourself on the topic the best you can. Communicate with your girlfriend and come up with the best solution. Talk to people who have had the surgery and maybe find out if there are ways that nutrition and exercise might help her and loose weight also. Overall, support her decision and good luck!

Q:   Hey LargeInCharge.  I want to know, How do you tell the difference between a BBW lover and a BBW sex stalker?

bear essence

A:  I don’t think you can tell the difference. The way I see it, its really what your looking for because some BBW’s themselves might be looking for love and some might be stalking for sex. Guys and women who want just sex usually will tell you right away. But let’s say you bump into someone who is not straight up and tells you he/she wants to get to know you and spend quality long term relationship time but yet they’re lying and really want sex! I say people are all different looking for different things so....trust your instincts.
 

     Lastly, the word stalker is major here. If your “having sex”…only.. with a so called “sex stalker” then the difference is…… “your having casual sex” …period! whether you consider each other a lover or not.

Q:   Raqui and Jay I have an observation. When going to the parties, I see some prejudice, it may be me but its there. Now everybody loves the BBW and the ssbbw, but I've seen some of those very ones look down on the SSBHM (Super Sized Big Handsome Man). It seems that they are only looking for the perfect man or the almost perfect man. They forget how when they go to the regular parties how others would look down at them. How they would look beyond the body and get to know the person. But when it comes to a ssbhm you wont give him the time of day unless you are going to try to use him. Where is the real love of us ssbhm? We have a whole lot of love if they would let us show it, and it doesn't have to involve getting busy all the time. I know it might take a lot for two large people to get it on but there's other ways to satisfy one another.

Scott

A:   I feel you but I think I know the answer…The BBW/BHM events is where it’s at! You lost me when you said “when going to the parties” because I figure its all about “where you hang out at” and “how” you hang out. I been to Big Parties where the Bigger guys out number and they be having the lap dances and sandwiches on the dance floor and…….be doing their thing! (shout out’s to B52’s, Peppers, and Big Boi’s). Then there is the message boards connections where a Big Man can meet a few friends and admirers before he attends. Make it happen spend a weekend away with the whole crew of ladies who like SSBHM (shout outs to Juanita’s Big Connection, Linda’s Big Connections, Heavenly Bodies)
Bottom line…”Bark up the right tree!” Find the right SSBHM club for you and find some net friends-hang out buddies who appreciate you.

Q:   I would like to first compliment you on the site it is awesome!  My question for you -  Why is there more of a social acceptance of BBW & SSBBW in NY, ATL, DC, IL, OH but in the heart of the Midwest it is not? I live in Indiana and there are no social groups or night spots that support the plus size. And the MEN definitely do not sway toward the plus sista's. I did go to a BigBoi party in Chicago and was amazed by the reception. The irony was that I can travel less then 200 miles outside of my state and find a total different attitude towards BBW's. It makes me wonder how diverse we really are. 
 
MzLovelyEyes

A:   Indiana is similar to many other place who don’t have BBW/BHM Clubs. It’s still growing I guess. NYC started it (so I’ve heard) so. NO! I can’t imagine or know the answer to why….I’ve been having too much fun to figure out why it’s not in Indiana yet! Really, all jokes aside…the fun part about it that you can travel to BigBoi in Chicago and do your thing. For all the places that don’t have it going on in their area (USA), there is always a travel spot people can go too. Sure it takes money.....save up and make it happen! Easier said then done but traveling is real for the BBW/BHM World. The way I see it….it’s gonna happen with or with out you so you might as well do what you gotta do to be there. Or click with the LargeInCharge Family and lets do our own IN Bash…let’s do the damn thing! 

Q:  I love the newsletter and both of you get big props from me. I am looking for a male point of view. Jay I have read a lot of the newsletter and questions.  I want to know how can I approach a man at a event with out him thinking I'm looking for sex.  I have tried but they still treat me like I'm looking to get laid! I remember you said to go after what you want a couple of issues back.  But If I am going to be treated like a woman looking for sex if I don't go up to a man and if I do. What is the point? No matter what I do I am treated the same!

Wondering what to do?

A:  If you’re an adult, have sex! Use protection and Do You!
 

     Naw, just kidding. Sounds like your against the casual sex move and you probably want to meet a few guys who are nice, has something positive to offer, and knows how to “treat you like a lady”. Easier said then done and its probably that #1 age old woman question of all times. Where are all the good guys at? I still am a firm believer that if you do you homework on the BBW/BHM Party network you’re bound to find a handful of guy’s who attend the events…..who “claim” to be nice guys looking for long term relationships. Now meeting them, and how you screen whether they are the one for you, is personal.

     Whether they exist, I still think they do! Now the case about being in the clubs and finding the right guy is another thing. I say if a woman frequents a few BBW/BHM clubs on a regular, say 1 to 2 months straight, she’s might find one she likes.

If your at the clubs and you only meet the guys who are looking for easy sex then all I can say is find some good friends and investigate.  Maybe talk to the event promoters about doing dating mixers and social meet and greets.  Bottom line....keep hope alive!

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