Feature of the Month

Chi Zeta Theta

Plus Sized Sorority

     A new form of sisterhood in the plus sized community made me open my eyes and smile with joy.

     I wished I lived in Florida when I saw this wonderful group of women.  They believe in community and the power of friendship and women.  Once banded together you will never be stopped.

     This is the first Plus Sized Sorority recorded.  The first Sisterhood in which plus sized women have come together to build a better life for themselves, under one name and with one heart.

Learn more about Chi Zeta Theta - Raqui

Interview with Janelle Myers Founder of Chi Zeta Theta Sorority

Interview conducted by Jay of www.LargeInCharge.com

State your name?

Janelle Myers. No middle name.

Where were you born? Where did you grow up at?

I was born in Brooklyn NY and I moved to Ft. Lauderdale FL. When I was 9 years old.

Do you consider yourself a BBW? and were you big most of your life?

I do consider myself a BBW. To me it has many meanings. Big Beautiful Woman, Bold Beautiful Woman, Black Beautiful Woman and I am all three. I was small up until I hit Kindergarten.

Has your size ever held you back from what you needed to accomplish?

My size has never held me back.

Is size discrimination a reality? Has it happened to you? Does it happen in some Fraternities and
Sororities?

Since I’ve founded Chi Zeta Theta Sorority, many interested women have talked to me about there experiences with sororities and being discriminated against only because of there size.

What college do you attend?

Currently, I do not attend college

Tell us about your Sorority? your title and role? how, when, where, and why it began?

I am the Founder and Executive Director of Chi Zeta Theta Sorority, Inc. I make sure that overall the organization stays organized. I meet with all committees, the Grand Chapter and chapter/colony presidents to get progress reports and new developments. Chi Zeta Theta Sorority was formed to uplift the woman of size, bring sisterhood to all women collegiate or non-collegiate and to address issues in the community that not only affect women of size, but issues that deal with women as a whole. Chi Zeta Theta Sorority was founded on August 11th 2005 in Ft. Lauderdale, FL. There was a need for sisterhood amongst women of size to join forces in uplifting our communities. Plus size or not, we need to erase the stereo-types that have been placed on plus size women.

 

Give us a brief statement about your personality?

I have a caring personality. I am easy to talk to and always willing to lend a helping hand. I am understanding and I enjoy seeing others grow, succeed and find happiness.

Tell us about your Staff / Administration? Give us a few names and brief personality sentence?

Chi Zeta Theta Sorority, Inc. Co-Founders

Soror Rosemary V. Austin- A confident woman that you can always depend on.

Soror Tamara Y. Attz- Has the ability to see beauty in everything and is determined.

Soror Monica L. Brown- Very understanding and willing to listen.

Soror Danielle N. Johnson- Always in the middle of it all and fun-loving.

Soror Ethiopia F. Grant- Gets the job done. No questions asked.

Soror Estrelia J. Mateo- Strong minded, honest and will not settle for less.

Soror Enid D. Hiers- Enthusiastic and always has a positive outlook.

Soror Jennifer B. Zambrano- Loving,Nurturing and always looks out for others.

Soror Makiesha A. Williams- Doesn't let anything or anyone get her down.

Is your organization the first Size Sorority?

Yes, I am proud to say that it is.

What is your mission?

The vision of Chi Zeta Theta Sorority is to strengthen grace and beauty within plus size women. To uplift, encourage and promote excellence within one another as well as adolescence.

What issues are important?

Chi Zeta Theta Sorority, Inc. Philanthropies
-Depression/Self Esteem
-Domestic Abuse

-Diabetes

How many people did you start out with and how many
strong are you now?

I started the organization by myself and now we have 10 members including myself and my 9 co-founders known as "The Perfect Ten"

How does one join your organization?

For anyone who is interested in joining Chi Zeta Theta Sorority we first ask that you visit our website @ www.cztsorority.org We also have a national interest group where we have weekly discussions, sorority announcements, and for interests to get to know the current members and other interested women @ http://groups.yahoo.com/group/cztmailinglist/ Also, we like to keep track of who attends our events and joins us in any community service efforts. We also have an application process as well as an membership intake process one must complete in order to become a member of Chi Zeta Theta Sorority.

What are the advantages or goals for women who haveinterest in joining your organization?

Some of the advantages include gaining lifelong sisterly bonds, working positively in our community, becoming a part of history for women of size, having an opportunity to meet wonderful people and visiting new places.

What characteristics do you look for in women who are attempting to join your organization?

Honest, Loyal, Professional, Trust-worthy to name a few. We have a number of interests groups online and meet & greet events. We enjoy the women who are most active, takes the time out to get to know the members and socialize with other interests.

 

Tell us about your community activities?

Currently, our national community service includes:

Salvation Army Angel Tree

Chi Zeta Theta Sorority Inc. is proud to have participated in this years Angel Tree. Every year the Salvation Army gets a list of dream toys for underprivileged children. This year we made a six-year-old boy very happy this Christmas and cannot wait to participate again next year.

Joe DiMaggio's Children's Hospital

Chi Zeta Theta Sorority, Inc. has participated in 99.9 Kiss FM Radiothon to raise money for the children's hospital by submitting a donation.

What other type of events does your organization produce? What is your next major event?

We have held Meet & Greets to give people a chance to meet some of the members of Chi Zeta Theta Sorority and to learn more about our organization. In the future we plan to have events such as Annual Sorority Formals, Fashion Shows for women of size, conferences/workshops for self-esteem building and self-enlightenment and much more.

Also, the colonies in each city have there own sorority events which will be posted on our website www.cztsorority.org Events will be updated periodically.

Do you feel sometimes its harder for a person of size to handle Pledging? What positive suggestions do you have for people of size who are about to Pledge?

I don’t think it’s harder for a person of size to go through an intake process. I feel that as long as your focused and you have the determination to reach your goals, you can get through it. The suggestions that I have for people who are in the process of intake is to be patient. I stress this to my interest because when you take your time on something, the ending result will mean so much more to you. You must work for what you want, nothing will be handed to you!

Do you have an official BBW Step Team? If so, who is the Step Mistress?

We do not have a step team yet, but we are sure working on it!

What are your colors? and do yaull have a "call"?

Our colors are soft pink, peach and silver. Our call is Chi-Z Quuuuuuue Tee!

Do you have plans to organize an auxiliary for BHM's? or FA's?

We currently do not have any plans for a male auxiliary, however we have an auxiliary for young ladies called Chi Carnations. This group will consist of adolescent girls between the ages of 14-18 years old. The young women will participate in sorority events and will be mentored by the Soror's of Chi Zeta Theta Sorority, Inc., who will serve as positive and uplifting role models to the young ladies.


Being your Sorority is new, tell us about the overall feedback you've received your peers on campus
so far? Nationally?

Nationally I have had a great number of support from members of other Greek lettered organizations, as well as the public. I have also had my share my criticism which was something I was prepared for. What kept me going was my loving soror's, the support I’ve gotten from the public, the need to promote plus size beauty and to uplift my women of size and people like you Jay! and LargeInCharge.com

What other states do you intend to start chapters in?

Florida

New York

North Carolina

Texas

Tennessee

Pennsylvania

Hawaii

Tell us about your website? Its "Under
Construction...when will it be up and running?

The website launch is set for June 24^th at www.cztsorority.org  

What type of information will it provide?

Our website will have information on our history, our founder and co-founders, membership, chapter/colony events, soror recognition and a link section with organizations who support Chi Zeta Theta.

Who are some of your role models?

Mo'Nique, Oprah Winfrey, Tocarra

How do you define success?

A define success as being able to look back on your struggles, learn from them by moving forward to continue in reaching your goals.

Tell us about the future for your organization? What is the ultimate goal?

I plan for Chi Zeta Theta Sorority, Inc. to be a beloved organization and have loyal members from all over the world. Our goal is to brighten women's lives by providing sisterhood, diversity and promoting beauty within all women.

Your Sorority is marking history and breaking new grounds here at LargeInCharge.com.
What can our readers do to help support your organization?

By visiting our website www.cztsorority.org and check out our updated events and announcements. We would love for everyone to show their support by attending any events and/or participating in any fund-raises that maybe in your area.

    

     First I would like to give my warmest thank you to Jay, the LargeInCharge.com Creator and Staff for giving me the chance to tell you about my WONDERFUL organization. I would like to thank the readers in advance for your support and I invite everyone to visit our website www.cztsorority.org and feel free to contact me at:

 

Chi Zeta Theta Sorority, Inc.

CEO-Janelle Myers

P.O. Box 15125

Plantation, FL. 33318

 

Again, thank you so much! Our sorority motto is "Celebrating Within, Uplifting Throughout" and I think everyone should live up to that whether you’re a Chi Cutie or not!

Thank you for Reading The LargeInCharge Feature

Please send thoughts and comments to

articles@largeincharge.com

Cover Model of the Month

Cher Rue

Interview with Cher Rue

LargeInCharge.com: What is your name?

Hi my name is Cher Rue.

LargeInCharge.com: Where are you from and what is your current Location?

I grew up in San Fernando Valley, California and now I live in Dana Point California.
 

LargeInCharge.com: Can you give us some information about yourself (Age, Height, Size, Nationality,

 

Marital Status, I am 50 years old and proud if it. I am a shorty 5'2" and I am a size 24. Im caucasian and have been married for three years to a great guy who is 36 named Jon.  I have one beautiful daughter who is artistic and loves to surf that is 21 from a previous marriage.
 

LargeInCharge.com: Were you a big child, or did you gain weight later in life?

 

I gained weight at the age of 8 and went up and down through the years, trying all different types of weight loss diets. I lost the weight but had difficulty keeping it off long term.

LargeInCharge.com: (If you were a big child) How did you feel growing up as a large child?

Growing up as a plus size kid, I only struggled a little, people seemed to be drawn to me and like my personality.

LargeInCharge.com: What made you decide to enter the LargeInCharge model search?

 

I entered the Largeincharge search, because I want to show the world you can be beautiful at any size or age it is what is inside that makes us beautiful!

LargeInCharge.com: Do you have any experience in modeling? If so tell us about what you have done.

 

I have modeled for a magazine, several merchant products, and for photographers.

LargeInCharge.com: It takes a lot of confidence to model... What has given you the confidence you have?

I have always had confidence, I just always liked myself for me, not caring what others felt, for I have to look at myself in the mirror each day and like who I am.

LargeInCharge.com: Did you find it a hard journey to be accepted for your size?

I think that growing up the journey was with dating and acceptance, the men would always say why don't you lose weight your so pretty and outgoing, but they always stayed.  I think I got tired of hearing it, when I found the plus size community, I found men who really enjoyed the curves and that made me happy.

LargeInCharge.com: Do you find acceptance among your family and friends?

I have always been accepted among my friends, most say they never noticed my weight they just saw me the person. My mother was constantly on my case to lose weight over the years, but she has
come to accept me as I am in the past few years. I think she is just concerned I am healthy.

LargeInCharge.com: What would you say inspires you most in life?

I would say what most inspires me in life is when I see two people in love walking down the street holding hands at any age and being considerate of each other. Or when young people go out of their
way to help older people. When I see generosity, friendship and caring.

LargeInCharge.com: What is your primary job? My primary job is running the two

BBW nightclubs in Los Angeles, California www.clubbounce.net and www.volupcity.com. This is so rewarding to see plus size people come all dressed to impress and get out on the dance floor
and get their groove on. I get such a warm feeling to see them shine.

LargeInCharge.com: How did you get into this line of work?

I was working for a different club as a assistant, and was offered a partnership and took it.

LargeInCharge.com: Do you find acceptance in the work force?

 

I find total acceptance at the clubs and love it.

LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you believe should take place for Large People in the work force?

 

I feel that there should be some changes for large people in the work force, larger bathrooms, better chairs, and people to accept everyone not for their age, color, religion or size. People are people we all look alike inside.

LargeInCharge.com: Where do you regular shop for your clothing?

 

I shop for my clothing at Torrid, Lane Bryant, Avenue and we have our own online clothing store www.hourglassfashions.com that has some awesome trendy club wear and more.

LargeInCharge.com: What do you wish to see change with the fashion industry?

 

I hope that we will just see more of what has started in the fashion industry, more youthful and trendy clothes for all sizes.

LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you think will happen if plus sized modeling for men and women were to expand?

 

I feel mainstream has taken notice of the plus size community and are branching out for plus size models. YEAH!

LargeInCharge.com: Tell us some of the places you buy your clothing from.

 

I also buy some items from Macy's and Nordstroms.

LargeInCharge.com: Look at Size acceptance five years ago... look at size acceptance now. What changes do you see?

 

I feel that that we are making a big change and that mainstream is finally having a open mind to us.

LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you think will happen five years from now with size acceptance?

 

I feel in five years, there will be plus size models, actresses, actors, singers and more all getting the recognition they deserve.

LargeInCharge.com: Tell us about your goals as far as modeling and other interests

My goals is to just keep trying to get the message to mainstream that size is just a size. I am working on a new TV show and I love to produce.

LargeInCharge.com: Give us a sentence that inspires you.

If you can look in the mirror and be happy with you, that is all that matters.

LargeInCharge.com: Can you tell us about an inspirational moment in you life that made you feel good about your size.

 

When I starting being a part of the plus size community and saw all the wonderful people who were just like me.

LargeInCharge.com: Is there a person in your life that makes you keep going?

 

The person that keeps me going is my daughter Heather. She is amazing and I'm so proud of her she is my inspiration.

LargeInCharge.com: What advice would you give to other people of size who want to model?

 

If modeling is your dream, you must follow it, read what ever you can, talk to who ever you can and love yourself.

LargeInCharge.com: What plus size figure do you admire?

 

I admire Delta Burke, she is gorgeous and has been the leading plus size actress in early years, she fought the media and had many struggles in her life, she is amazing.

LargeInCharge.com: What would you like to tell the LargeInCharge readers about yourself.

 

I would like to tell the readers, that they are all unique and special in their own way, to go for your dreams, not worry about what others say or think, and be the best you that you can be.

LargeInCharge.com: Describe yourself with one word.

 

Caring.

 

Again, Congratulations Cher Rue we are please to have you as a member of the LargeInCharge Cover Model Family!

 

Thank you to UberRussmanDesigns for Being ???? Design Sponsor

Thank you for Finding out more about our Cover Model

Please send thoughts and comments to

articles@largeincharge.com

Raqui's Spot

This months Subject:

Summer Swimwear for People of Size

articles@largeincharge.com

Summer Swimwear for People of Size

 

     Fun in the Sun!  What a happy term, but many people of size dread summer.  Complaints about heat, sweat, shorts and SWIMWEAR!   Some complain that swimwear for people of size are ugly.  Some say that the designs are to small,  others say the designs cover to much.  I have heard it all,  it is hard for us to find the right suit because those who manufacture the suits are limited.

 

     This year things are different, many people are realizing that the proper bathing suit for people of size is a necessary and a sought after item.  I have done some investigating and have gathered together a great list of online stores that sell swimwear.  So many different styles and looks to grab your interest.  Finally you will feel comfortable on the beach or by the pool this summer.

 

For the Ladies:

• Sanctuarie Designs - http://store.yahoo.com/sanctuarie-net/index.html

• Love Your Peaches - www.loveyourpeaches.com 

• Junonia - www.junonia.com

• By Ro Designs - www.byrodesigns.com

• Big on Batik - www.bigonbatik.com

• Making it Big - www.makingitbig.net

• The Avenue - www.avenue.com

• Roman's - www.romans.com

• Lane Bryant - www.lanebryant

• Catherine's - www.catherines.com

• Zaftique - www.zaftique.com

• Swimsuits for All - www.swimsuitsforall.com

 

     Guys don't think I forgot about you.  When I speak to large men about swim wear many of them say that they don't like to take off there shirt.  Others boldly strut there budda bellies and man breasts.  I have to tell my big brothers, there are many women who love a big man with out his shirt.  Budda bellies and all,  those who are going to admire you will do so.  If your a little on the shy side a white tank style shirt will be a good cover up.

 

 

For the Men:

• King Size - www.kingsizecatalog.com

• Swimsuits for All - www.swimsuitsforall.com

• Cutter Buck - www.cutterbuck.com

• Big & Tall Direct - www.bigtalldirect.com

• ABC Underwear - www.abcunderwear.com - Check Big Men's section for thongs swimwear & more  up to 5XL

• Big Men - www.bigmen.com

• Franks Big and Tall - www.franksbigandtall.com

• Rochester Clothing - www.rochesterclothing.com

• Big Man's Land - www.bigmansland.com

 

     I hope you find something your feel comfortable wearing this summer.  Have Fun.

 

Raqui

Thank you for Reading Raqui's Spot

Please send thoughts and comments to

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Russell's Review

Big World Character Review

     My mission here at Large In Charge is to finally answer those questions that we may never even realize to ask. Characters that are often portrayed in movies, shows, cartoons, and everything else that portray anything relating to the BBW /BHM community. You ever wonder why there are no big people in the matrix. I mean what, No body eats there? They can't blame it the food. Or why we're always under some type of scrutiny whether we realize it or not. I'm here to finalize all answers and give you nothing but a honest accurate opinion about characters portrayed in such entities.

articles@largeincharge.com

Kevin James - The King of Queens

Kevin James

Kevin James: 

     Hello Readers. It’s time for another one of Russell’s reviews. This month I will be reviewing Kevin James. Most of you would know in only as “Doug” from the hit TV sitcom “The King of Queens“ Which airs on various stations.

     This is a real funny dude, just his demeanor will have you laughing in your pants. And as you all know. He’s a pretty big guy. And seems to be in pretty good shape as well. He pretty much came a long way to where he’s at right now. He attended Cortland University where he played football. After a while, it knew that it wasn't the correct path he’d want to go on. So out of nowhere he joined a community theater where he played a comedic role. It turns out that he enjoyed the crowd reaction. So he wanted more. Then soon after that he join he brother Gary Valentine in an improve group. He liked it so much that he started to go to comedy clubs with him. He later knew that he had the comedy bug as well. So for around 11 years he did stand up comedy. During that time he actually met up with funny man Ray Romano. Ray was getting he own sitcom at the time. Kevin went on to get more noticed on Star Research in 1983. Then later appeared on the Tonight show with Jay Leno. His big break came at the Big Laughs Festival. When he had a recurring role on the sitcom “Everybody Loves Raymond”. After that was all history when he finally got his own sitcom, “The King of Queens”

     Now for the usual question. Does he pose a positive or a negative for the BBW / BHM Community? Well would I actually have to answer that. You all would know the obvious answer. It’s a big positive for the community for the simple fact that he can make anyone laugh just by being there. He does not target any race, ethnicity, gender, or anything. To fuel any of his jokes. He doesn’t hurt anyone’s feelings. He his a very funny guy in my book.

     Make sure that you catch his last and final season of “The King of Queens” Which is airing on CBS. Him and his Cast will have you laughing in your pants until you can laugh no longer.
 

     Again Thank you for reading and supporting my articles and I will continue to hit you with the reviews you will remember.

Thank you for Reading Russell's Review

Please send thoughts and comments to

articles@largeincharge.com

This months Subject:

Puerto Rican Day Parade Co-Hosted by

Fat Joe

Fat Joe Co-Hosts Puerto Rican Day Parade

     FAT JOE will be making history by hosting the National Puerto Rican Day Parade, in New York City on June 11th, 2006.

Parade History:
     The first New York Puerto Rican Day Parade was held on Sunday, April 12 1958 in "Barrio" in Manhattan. Amongst its founders were; José "Chuito" Caballero, Peter Ortiz, Luisa Quintero, Victor López, Luis Amando Feliciano, Vicente Hernández, Angel M. Arroyo, Atanacio Rivera Feliciano, y Amalio Maisanave Ríos. Its first President was Victor López and it was coordinated by José Caballero. The Grand Marshall was Oscar González Suarez, Esq. Prominent personalities from Puerto Rico headed by then Governor Don Luis Muñoz Marin, attended the initial parade. Several Mayors from Puerto Rico, led by the Mayor of the Municipality of Corozal, Hon. Leo Cabranes also participated.

     In 1995 we felt that it was time to expand this event to the national scene, reminding Puerto Ricans throughout the country of their heritage and fostering the positive image of our people. An example of the national interest in this expansion effort is the participation of delegations from thirty-one states, including Alaska and Hawaii in the 1999 Parade. The National Puerto Rican Day Parade is the successor to the New York Puerto Rican Day Parade, an event that operated for thirty-eight (38) consecutive years, enhancing the pride of the Puerto Rican people and promoting their contributions to the United States.

     Hosting The National Puerto Rican Day Parade 2006 Fat Joe (born Joseph Antonio Cartagena) will be joining FOX5 anchor Ernie Anastos and UPN9 anchor Brenda Blackmon to provide commentary for the parade and interview celebrities, politicians and various spectators who are expected to attend.
 

(Link) www.sohh.com/articles/article.php/9093


     “I want to interview everyone from Mayor Bloomberg (NYC Mayor) to Marc Anthony, who’s one of my idols, to the little baton girl from the South Bronx to get her tale on what it’s like to be part of this,” Joe told the Tempo pages of the New York Post.

(Link)
www.vibe.com/news/news_headlines/2006/05/

fat_joe_to_be_a_reporter_at_puerto_rican_day_parade/


     According to officials, Joe - who is also the parade's New York Godfather - will march between 44th and 68th streets and board the anchor booth at 11:30 a.m. where he's expected to perform and interview a number of not-yet-revealed celebrity guests.

(Link) www.nypost.com/tempo/66783.htm

Fat Joe's Bio

Fat Joe - Co-hosting the Puerto Rican Day Parade

FAT JOE (BIO)
(Link) www.atlanticrecords.com/fatjoe/about/

     They say good things come to those who wait. For over 10 years, Fat Joe has patiently waited for his opportunity to be among the greats in his field of music. Through years of hard work and dedication, Fat Joe has made his mark on hip-hop music, film, clothing and the culture as a whole.
 

From his humble beginnings in the bullet-riddled streets of the Bronx to orchestrating the rise of the late, great Big Pun to making a whole nation 'Lean Back' in 2004, Fat Joe has run the gamut of hard work in the music business and will enjoy the fruits of his labor with the release of his 6th album, ALL OR NOTHING on April 26th, 2005.


     Born and raised a product of hip-hop's birthplace, Fat Joe [Joseph Cartagena] lived and breathed the Bronx. The tough-as-nailsdemeanor that comes with growing up in crime ridden streets, amidst the raging crack epidemic of the 80's reflected on Joe when he released his aptly titled debut album, Shit Iz
Real on Relativity Records in 1993. Praised for its strong production, the album introduced the world to 200-plus pounds of raw aggressive rap. The album held rap classics such as 'Flow Joe' and the DJ Premier-produced title track 'Shit Iz Real'. As the only Latino on the East Coast rap scene, this tenacious Puerto Rican/Cuban represented a demographic that had for so long yearned for a voice they could call their own.

     The past few years have found Joe catapulting to the top of the hip-hop elite.  But with the release of 2003's Loyalty failing to obtain the platinum status of his last two albums, the world once again cast doubt on Joe's ability to be perceived as one of the top hip-hop artists. The stage was set for Joe's climactic statement that would once and forever earn him his spot among the greats. With hip-hop music  obsessed with the Crunk sounds of the South and the sample heavy sounds of the Mid-West, Fat Joe, along with his Terror Squad in tow, brought the New York state of rhyme back to the forefront with the infectious single, 'Lean Back'. Produced by Scott Storch (Dr.Dre, Beyonce, Eminem, Cristina Aguilera)the single took the music world by storm and became Joe's first # 1 single atop the Billboard Top 100 charts and most recently garnered a Grammy Nomination for Best Rap performance by Duo or Group.

     For 2005, Joe is set to continue his dominance of music with his 6th solo release, All Or Nothing coming out on April 26th. This album features the production talents of Timbaland, Swizz Beatz, Cool & Dre, Just Blaze, Scott Storch and more. With the release of the Just Blaze produced track 'Safe 2 Say'
Fat Joe is continuing his plot of bringing NY hip-hop back while at the same time securing his spot as the King of NY hip-hop. The album proves to be Joe's best work to date as his rhymes continue to elevate.

 

     Over the years Joe has kept his hunger alive studying and perfecting his flow and rhymes. From his first single 'So Much More' (produced by Miami heatmakers Cool & Dre) to the Scott Storch produced 'Get It Poppin'' featuring Nelly, Fat Joe delivers a tight cohesive album that is sure to please all his fans as well as rise to the top of the charts. Fat Joe also recorded 'Hold U Down' with Jennifer Lopez and just filmed the video with her in the Bronx. Although it is Jennifer's second  single the song will also be featured on Joe's album. With the release of All Or Nothing,  the crown is sure to be set upon BX's finest Fat Joe.

Thank you for Reading Jay's Spot

Please send thoughts and comments to

articles@largeincharge.com

Papi's Peace

This month's Article:

The Skin I'm In

How to Mack - Part I: The Mental Aspect

Not Goldilocks, but Goldie-like. Some holdin’ rocks, I hold the mic.

On frozen blocks, Ms. Flow is tight. Chosen my flock, she strollin’ tonight. Alright!
“Newism” - Trance the MC

     First of all, I need to let everyone know that June is a VERY special month. On the third day, the man known as Papi was born.
 

     I will pause now for cheers and tears! LOL

     Seriously, I am 35 years young and loving life now as much as anytime in my life. In fact, I am feeling SO good and giddy about things, I am going to break some rules in this month’s Peace. I am gonna reveal some secrets. In an effort to continue upon the journey of motivation and self-improvement that we have been traversing, I am about to help out some of the more shy, timid, or even insecure readers.

 

     I am going to sprinkle a lil’ game on you. Translation? I’m going to teach you how to mack. Need more clarity? Papi will instruct you how to successfully approach a woman (Ladies, you can actually flip some of this info and make it work for you as well. Don’t let Papi scare you away this month!). There are MANY attributes that go into commanding socialization skills (good game) so I will break my lessons down into sections that will span issues. The first section deals with your mental approach, which is the most important aspect of the whole process.

     Now let me be clear that I am not trying to help anyone become Casanova or Don Juan. I am simply giving you a few tips, pointers, and confidence builders that may help you approach and become friends with persons of the opposite sex. Saying that, it is very important that you remain true to yourself. Do not try to be someone or something you aren’t. You can only play charades and games for so long. There is nothing worse than a sham. No one likes the old bait and switch. Be real. Be honest, it is the best policy. When you are open with who you are, what you want, what you expect, what you accept, things are so much easier. I could write an entire book about honesty. Few embrace the concept, but if more did, the world would be a better place, please believe that. Life is simple, people complicate it.

     Who is Papi to give advice? A confident man. I have been called cocky and even arrogant, but I am simply self assured and VERY confident. I am a friendly and outgoing person by nature. I am also very flirtatious, often times doing so without even knowing I am doing it. I am able to freely socialize and interact with women because I have one basic theory. “What is the worst that can happen?” Seriously, if you attempt to talk to someone, what is the worst thing they can say to you? No. If they take it beyond no they are ignorant and it is probably better that you didn’t connect. How bad is rejection really? You approach her, she says no thank you, you keep it moving. How complicated is that? You must EMBRACE this attitude. What is the worst that can happen? It is really so easy if you truly follow those words.

     Another point to remember is very old school. “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again”. Just because you have failed does not make you a failure. If you never lose, how can you really appreciate winning? You become stronger and wiser by confronting and eliminating obstacles. It is the bumps in the road that define your character and affect your path in life. The way you handle challenges says a lot about you and your make up. Now, this does not mean if she says no you harass and stalk her into saying yes. There is nothing worse than being or appearing to be desperate. I have visited the other end of the spectrum as I am often called nonchalant, uncaring, and unemotional. I don’t agree, but if I had a dollar for each time I heard it. It would probably be best to wind up in the middle of those two extremes. Go after what you want. Persistently pursue that prize. Don’t get easily discouraged.
 

     There are a lot of women out there. What one may hate, another may love. This is the biggest reason not to give up easily. This also refers to a problem that people often make. Do not generalize. Do not stereotype. Realize and understand that while people may be similar in many ways, NO TWO PEOPLE ARE THE SAME. It sounds like a no-brainer, common sense type of thing, but it truly gets taken for granted.

 

     You have heard people make blanket statements about gender:

     “Men are dogs.”

     “Women want a sugar daddy."

     “There are no good men/women left."

 

     If you think about it, such statements are absurd. Most people do not personally know all of the people in their office building, in their church, in their high rise, on their block, in their school . . . let alone be able to categorize AN ENTIRE GENDER! Think about it.

     Taking all of these points, let me add what may be the most important step in this process. You must be ready to Step Your Game Up. If you keep doing what you have been doing, you will keep getting what you have been getting. You get what you expect. You also get what you accept. Consider yourself worthy. You must believe that you deserve the best in life. If you think you have to “settle” then you will settle. Not only should you not be afraid to talk to the most beautiful person in the party, but you should believe that she should WANT to talk to you! Step your game up. Be aware of the social settings where you are meeting people. Are these places that enhance or agree with your strengths, your abilities, your wants and needs and likes? Are these places appropriate in finding what you are looking for? Are these places that correspond to your personality? If you don’t like or are uncomfortable with the club scene, why would you use the club as your social base? Step your game up!

       Now that we have gotten you mentally prepared to be confident, fearless, and focused we will allow the month of July to heat up the weather AND heat up my column. Next month Papi will actually give you some practical applications . . . tips and tricks. All that good stuff.
 

     Look at me building anticipation!!

     Until then . . . PEACE!!

Thank you for Reading Papi's Peace

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Good 4 U Food

Recipes for Good... Healthy Food

By: Xander - The Food Dude

Nobody Leaves Hungry

     In the south, we take every opportunity to eat. I know what you’re thinking. “Y’all eat a lot!” Yes, we do. But even further in the act is a foundation that extends throughout the generations of most cultures throughout the world. Everyone has been to their family reunions and had a buffet of food for the taking. But in the south we literally take every opportunity to group up and eat. Someone has a birthday…. EAT, someone is born… EAT, someone passes away….EAT. It’s a pretty common pattern. When in doubt about what to do??? EAT!!

     Eating and the act of sharing that with others is a driving force that all societies have.
It is a part of our culture. That process has been so ingrained in us that it shows in how our body functions. It is a medical fact that we digest better when we eat in the company of others. At minimum, we as a society need each other. What better way to spend that time together than eating. In the south we take it to extremes, but no one goes away hungry.

     This presents an interesting philosophy we can apply to every person we meet or know.
Sometimes in life we get wrapped up in the day to day races of family demands, work constraints, and drudgery. It is times like these when the world closes in on us. Possibilities seem to no longer exist. It is at these times when we are most “hungry”.

     There are times when we question what has become of our lives and how it got to be that way. I submit to you that it is at those times when we’ve gotten too focused on our “hunger” and how it has not been fulfilled. There are times when we just don’t get along with the people we love the most. Of course this is because of “their” faults. It could never be us causing the problem. At other times we just don’t like anything about ourselves or the world. So what do we do?

     My suggestion… take someone to lunch or dinner. There is seldom an act so huge as to sit and dine with others. In most cases the walls and problems tend to fade away, or at least soften with each bite. Problems lessen because in those moments we are unable to stop ourselves from becoming a part of something larger than ourselves. We are part of the world then, not just seeing it. Have you ever spent the day with family or friends, went back home, walked in the door only to have a feeling a loss. It would seem most strange that we should feel this way as a few hours earlier we were having a great time.

     When we interact with people we are doing more than connecting with them, we are connecting with ourselves. People tend to gravitate to others who have some of their own qualities. In short, the remind us of ourselves. Sometimes this can be good, sometimes bad, but the connection is there. A lot of the times these connection are made around food. That’s why we so often connect food with how we remember others. My grandmother……best sausage gravy in the history of mankind.

     So when you’re feeling disconnected from the world and yourselves, go eat with someone. Take the time to nourish your soul and body at the same time.

     The recipe this time is something that will nourish you body and soul. It’s a great combination of flavors and techniques that will create something totally unexpected.
 

     I hope you enjoy it. Until next time, may God Bless each one of you. 

 

Xander - The Food Dude

Xander's Recipe of the Month

Roasted Pork Roger

Ingredients:

3 1/2 pounds pork tenderloin
2 cloves garlic, minced
8 oz black olives, pitted and chopped
3 tsp prepared Dijon mustard
salt and pepper to taste
1 red bell pepper deseeded and sliced
8 oz fresh mushrooms, sliced
1 yellow onion, thinly sliced


Directions:

Slice the pork tenderloin open the long way. Spread the mustard, minced garlic and chopped olives in the roast. Sprinkle with salt and pepper all-over, to taste.

To Grill: Prepare grill for high heat.

Using a generous amount of foil lay the slice red pepper on the bottom. Put the tenderloin on top. Paint the loin with browning sauce and place the onion slices and mushrooms on top. Seal the foil making a little tent on top.

Grill the roast for about 30 minutes or until it has reached an internal temperature of 160 degrees F (70 degrees C). Let sit for 10 minutes before carving.

To Bake: Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).

Lay the slice red pepper on the bottom of a roasting pan. Put the marinated tenderloin on top. Paint the loin with browning sauce and place the onion slices and mushrooms on top. Cover and bake in the preheated oven for 30 minutes or until and internal temperature of 160 degrees F (70 degrees C) is reached. Let sit for 10 minutes before carving.

 

Thank you for Reading Good Food 4U

By Xander the Food Dude

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