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Cover Model of the Month

Lakia Tribie - Starlet

LargeInCharge.com: What is your name? 

Lakia Tribie A.K.A Starlet which is my model name.

LargeInCharge.com: Where are you from and what is your current Location?

I was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY and that is where I currently live in the East New York section.

LargeInCharge.com: Can you give us some information about yourself (Age, Height, Size, Nationality, Marital Status, Children, etc.)?

I am 33 yrs old 5'4" of pure sexiness and an abundant size 24. I am a mom of 3 absolutely fantastic children and I am married with a very supportive husband. I am African-American sprinkled with a Native-American Hopi Indian with my heritage stemming from the South...Mississippi to be exact.

LargeInCharge.com: Were you a big child, or did you gain weight later in life?

Yes, I was a big child, but there was a time in my life when I was very thin as a very young child and was nurtured by my grandmother and fed very often because according to her  was Po' (Mississippi slang for Poor or Skinny). She cared for me as a very young child and I lived with her down south in the Sip'(slang for Mississippi). But the weight began to pour on around the age of 7 and I began to gain about 10 to 12lbs every year needless to say it was very difficult for me.

LargeInCharge.com: (If you were a big child) how did you feel growing up as a large child?

Being fat for me as a child was very shameful, mostly because of the attitude of my family. My mom found it very difficult to keep up with my weight and even more difficult shopping for me because I outgrew children’s clothes at a very young age. In spite of that I actual had very positive friends and always maintained popularity in spite of my girth. My weight never kept me from making friends or being social. In High School I even took up swimming for 3 out of 4 years as my PE of choice and never felt uncomfortable as a matter of fact I had a number of boys hit on me regularly. I of course was the largest in my circle but the most influential setting the fashion, hair and make-up trends.

LargeInCharge.com: (If you gained weight later in life) what caused you to gain weight and how did you feel about it?

Well I increased over the years especially after having my darling babies and slowing down from the party scene!

LargeInCharge.com: What made you decide to enter the LargeInCharge.com model search? 

I am an aspiring model who is looking to get recognized for my exceptional and unique style and beauty. I have read the magazine and was very impressed by your articles and your devotion to the Large community I knew that LargeInCharge.com would be the place for me where I could not only get exposure but have my type of beauty appreciated.

LargeInCharge.com: Did you find it a hard journey to be accepted for your size?

No. I hope this is not taken the wrong way but I don't see myself as fat. Let me explain, some people become victims in life allowing there situations and circumstance to gobble them up and they never live a life of fullness and joy. Now I have surely had my share of hard knocks but letting something like weight keep me from feeling accepted, no way Jose! I have always shone my light, sometimes it wasn’t as bright as others times but I have just a God given gift of attraction meaning  I attract people to me and that keeps me positive, outgoing and spunky! So to sum this all up I am soooo much more that just a Fat girl I am still peeling back the layers of talent, creativity, beauty and spirit God has blessed me with. Hard....? Oomph please!

LargeInCharge.com: Do you find acceptance among your family and friends?

Well, my mother probably was the hardest on me because of my weight I forgive her now but she made it very shameful for me to be a fat child.... and fat teen..... And fat adult ( Mom I love you) but it is true. You know how it is when you’re a fat child everyone in your family has a comment or solution to your plight when all they are really doing is making the problem worse. And heavens forbid you should have feelings and stand-up for yourself you would be accused of being fresh and sassy and probably have you a#s beaten.  I forgive them now and understand they weren't trying to hurt me but was concerned about me but handled it the only way they knew how with ridicule LOL! (Hey it is true, but I still love them). My friends always made me feel accepted it wasn’t something that was talked about (my weight) To them I was Kia, period. My husband though is the one who has supported me in cracking the shell on all this exceptional talent I possess. He constantly cheers me on in everything I do. He reinforces what I already know "Shorty is the Shid" LOL!

LargeInCharge.com: What would you say inspires you most in life?

I will try to intellectualize this the best I can, what inspires me is a burning, unsettling, continuous pushing from God to be the best and break forth into my own personal glory. It is a deep spiritual tugging and nudges to not stop until I reach the top. See I was born knowing I was to be something great and do great things however, life throws us curves and stuff happen that keep us off the path. Sometimes we even get in our own way like I did for a long time, feeding myself on fear and self-doubt. But God, simply put is my inspiration we have always been tight me and the almighty. LOL, I have always been intuitive and divinely connected He has brought me through very difficult times.

LargeInCharge.com: What is your primary job?

I am an Insurance Agent for a major insurance company.

LargeInCharge.com: How did you get into this line of work?

I applied for the position and they hired me. I have worked in this field for 4 yrs. ironically though I hated it for the first 3...

LargeInCharge.com: Do you find acceptance in the work force?

Oh yes. I have always made very good impressions on my employers and never felt discriminated against at all because of my weight. However my boss saw me eating M&M's one day and told me to stop eating them using the excuse it was bad for my health. I believe he would not have said though if I was not fat...things that make you go hmmm?

LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you believe should take place for Large People in the work force?

Large people should have better access to health insurance and life insurance we are considered high risk and a lot of companies do not want to provide us with adequate coverage.

LargeInCharge.com: What do you think about the fashion industry for big sized clothing?

It has made huge strides in providing larger clothing in designs that flatter our special curves. However we are still poorly represented in the modeling and beauty industry where fat is not appreciated. Since I spend a huge amount of money on clothing show me what I am going to look like in it not some skinny chick at a ridicules size 8.

LargeInCharge.com: What do you wish to see change with the fashion industry?

I really wish they made better shoes that fit our feet and didn’t hurt so badly, the operative word here is support, support, support. And it would be great for once to buy a boot that actually came up my whole leg...just make it bigger damn it! 

LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you think will happen if plus sized modeling for men and women were to expand?

I think America will finally accept that women are really supposed to have nice round booties and a healthy set of hips; it is the way God meant it to be. Minority Men and Women would be rich in this industry because we got all the sexy curves....hmmm maybe that's why they don’t want to accept it don’t want to give them minorities to much.....another thing to make you go ummm?

LargeInCharge.com: Tell us some of the places you buy your clothing from.

I love to shop at Lane Bryant and Ashley Stewart they have very hip stylish clothing for the sassy lady with junk in the trunk like me ; ) But don't sleep on the lower end stores like Rainbow shop and even Conway because you can sometimes find great pieces and accessories in these store. I am more of a Budget Fashionista and love sifting through the clearance racks of my favorite stores.

LargeInCharge.com:  Tell one of your secret beauty tips.

I am a firm believer in skin care, a good cleanser and moisturizer goes a very long way in maintaining good skin and a youthful appearance check out my website www.avon.com/ltribie and check out some of the great skin care products. Also never leave home without some type of make-up on. I love a full face complete with foundation, eye shadow, and blush. If that is not your thing a clear lip gloss and mascara is your must have, I assure you it will make the prettiest face even prettier!

LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you think will happen five years from now with size acceptance?

More large actors and actresses on TV and not as the depressed fat chick or someone’s sidekick but leading roles and where we are the love interest.

 LargeInCharge.com: Tell us about your goals as far as modeling and other interests.

My modeling goals would be to get signed by a modeling agency like Goddess based out of New York who work with Plus Models and work as a print commercial model I have always wanted to be a catalog model. I am also very into cosmetics and will one day have my own line of cosmetics.

LargeInCharge.com: Can you tell us about an inspirational moment in you life that made you feel good about your size.

Everyday is an inspirational moment because I have inherited a gift I saw my mom possess as a child that gift is the ability to make grown men stop what they are doing whether it be driving, fixing the roads or just hanging on the corner to stop and stare at me. Now as a child I thought it was just my Mom's big butt, but it is more than just a big rear-end it is the gift of attraction. I draw people to me like a magnet. Now according to the worlds standard I am supposed to be the least sexiest because I am fat, but that has proven wrong years ago because I am hit on, flirted with and gazed at adoringly everyday all day. I have not had a day go by in years where someone has not told me how beautiful I am. I am very humble by it and most grateful to God.

LargeInCharge.com: Is there a person in your life that makes you keep going? 

The person that keeps me going is the little girl that still lives within me. The one who dreamed of being a ballet dancer and a beauty pageant winner. It is little Kia who used to play in her mothers make-up and place her nightgowns over her head pretending it was he long blonde hair.. Don’t act like ya'll didn’t do that! Seriously I want to prove to that little girl that it is possible to have those dreams come true and be the women she and I knew I could be.

LargeInCharge.com: What advice would you give to other people of size who want to model? 

Just do it! But while making your dreams happen research this business because there are a lot of snakes in the grass, meaning people who want to take advantage of plus sized women and exploit them for money.

LargeInCharge.com: What plus size figure do you admire?

I think Queen Latifah is great and I love Sherri Sheppard from the view. The little Kia in me did and still does love Miss Piggy she made me so proud to be fat! However there could be and should be more I will soon add my name to the list.

LargeInCharge.com: Describe yourself in one word? 

Exceptional

Raqui's Spot

     Raqui the Owner and Founder of LargeInCharge Magazine.  This spot is dedicated to her thoughts, vents, and observations of Plus Sized Life.  Raqui's  "Tell it like it is" style of writing has brought hundreds to her blogs and thousands to LargeInCharge.com.  There is so much behind the woman who has brought this magazine into existence.  Being Internationally known as a wrestler/squasher lead the way to modeling for companies and being featured in magazines and documentaries from all over the world.  She has made a career out of her size and personality. Born, Raised and Residing in the Bronx NYC. This city girl is taking the world by storm.

 

     For the past 4 years Raqui officially moved into Size Acceptance and Empowerment.  With the creation of LargeInCharge she took what she said to individuals to a higher level and made it public to the internet world. She is a woman who doesn't let things get to her.  Knock her down for the moment but she will rise up stronger and better.  Being a speaker on behalf of many subjects and counseling Plus Sized people online her grace and style has made people love her.  Raqui continues to set an example of a powerful woman who will bend the world to fit her, her way.

 

     Raqui's appearances include, Uk Televesion, German TV, Japan, Europe and the Spanish circuit.  Her many magazines appearances have been world wide.  She has hit American Televsion in 2006 with Good Morning American and since has appeared on The Christina Show,  The Maury Show and The Tyra Banks Show.

To view her Online portfolio visit www.Raqui.com

Raqui Appears on The Christina Show                   Raqui Appears on The Maury Show

LargeInCharge Radio

 

     Many people asked me what made me decide to start a Radio show.  Truthfully I had been thinking about Radio for about 2-3 years.  It was always one of those things you think about and didn't do.  I thought I would have to invest mucho money into equipment and studio's.  I thought about having to do a whole website so that shows could be heard live.  I thought about the added expense that I couldn't afford.

 

     I then started researching Online Radio what can be done with the new resources out there.  Would I have time,  It takes a lot of dedication to run a Radio show.  I knew I wanted it to be an expansion of LargeInCharge.  I wanted the public to get a chance to voice their thoughts and opinions about life subjects that affect plus sized people.

 

     Finally I was able to move forward with this thought.  I tried to speak to a few people about running a radio show.  But never received any help, I knew I would have to do it all myself. So I just took the plunge in setting up an account with Blog Talk Radio.  I set my show and got prepared.  It worked naturally for me and I was happy to have shows once a week.

 

     Now with my 5th show under my belt I have to say I am enjoying this whole new aspect to LargeInCharge than I thought I would.  After my Un-Authorized Co-Host, My good friend The Saint joined me things are running so smooth because he handles everything I don't have time to do with my hectic schedule.

 

     I would love for all the readers to check out the radio show.  I hope you all get something from it and even join in to talk about these important subjects :)

 

For more information just go to the radio show page on LargeInCharge

 

 

LargeInCharge Radio - Weekly Radio show discussing Plus Sized Issues.  Friday's 7-9 pm EST - Call in & Chat in our Chat Room.

Raqui's Cool Links

www.raqui.com  

Raqui's My Space Page

Raqui's Yahoo 360 Page

Thank you for Reading Raqui's Spot

Please send thoughts and comments to

articles@largeincharge.com

Super Sized Sounds

with

Lynx

     Super Sized Sounds will be a Music Column that will feature those who are in the industry or up and coming who are size positive. Giving recognition to the plus sized people who are out there and showcasing themselves.  Reviews, Interview, News and more from our new writer Super Sized Spanishfly Lynx.

 

      Lynx Garcia, also known as "SUPERSIZE SPANISHFLY", is a Latina BBW from Queens NYC.  Lynx is an activist speaking out against size discrimination and began performing back in 1996 at social events for big beautiful women and big handsome males and their admirers. Her special mixture of sound held true as she sang, spat, danced and performed spoken word, soon she was in demand by Big and Beautiful parties nationwide.  Lynx taking her "look" and sound mainstream was rejected because of her size. She did not let this break her spirit, hurt her confidence or minimize her drive. Instead she rose up and started a public access show (LYNX' LAIR) aired in Queens on TIME WARNER QPTV . Combination of comedy and sexy style, she showcased underground artists of all walks of life. The response to her show was PHENOMENAL....in less than a year she has showcased many artist, some who moved to bigger and better things.

 

     Currently Lynx has caught the attention of Joey Mekkah of BLACK SOLARIS ENTERTAINMENT and found herself on the Grandmaster MELLE MEL's SOLO ALBUM "MUSCLES" featured on the hot latin hip-hop track called 'DIMELO", she is the only collaboration on the album. Lynx recently has started her own radio show on EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO.COM  called Ladies Night. EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO is #1 on the itunes network.

 

     WANT TO SUBMIT YOUR VOICE FOR REVIEW? See Below

Artist of the Month

 

       My people, mi gente… Oh the net and in the music industry is going crazy over Lil Wayne’s comments on mix tape Dj’s, so we are going to address that situation and (I had submissions but received them a little too late) so no music review but you all can look out for them next month.

You Tubes of the Month

 

LIL Wayne Says F$%& Mixshow Dj’s

     Why would a main stream artist want to have their music reviewed by me on a magazine dedicated to empowering and uplifting people of size? I mean, after all in main stream media’s point of view us BBW’s (big beautiful women) and BHM’s (big handsome males) are not marketable.  I could dispute that but that is another article. One thing no one can dispute is, people in the big community are BIG spenders (no pun intended) and we patronize and spend major paper on items other than food. You know like Cd’s, books, magazine’s, Ipod’s and clothing. Holla and hand me a Hershey kiss if you hear me!

     In other words any outlet is an important outlet. Although it may be true that Large in Charge magazine is not (let’s say) as BIG as or as recognized as The Source Magazine but with 60-70,000 hits a day is no small potatoes either. So hold on a minute there French fry!- if you are a mainstream artist or an underground artist, you should be looking at all the avenues to get to your destination including but not limited to Large in Charge,  performing for free at community events and including mix tape DJ’s, there should be no avenue closed off or not covered.

     I absolutely must add that once you reach your destination don’t pooh, pooh on the very heads that put you in your situation.

     Which brings me to Lil Wayne, now I am just like everyone else; I love a track with Lil Weezy on the hook. But I have to say that since his ranting and ravings. I do view him differently and really do not want to support his new album. Shit on the mix tape Dj’s. Is you crazy son! The Dj makes the superstar. It ain’t a party till the Dj gets it popping. So they may not be main stream Dj’s on major radio stations like Hot 97 but they make a hot mix with your shit and it gets played across the states and now digitally. So they charge their little $5 bucks a pop, don’t they deserve the dough for their efforts. You certainly (the mainstream artist) are not paying for the promotion they are giving to you. What would you pay to have your shit bumping in all the ciphers in the Hood? Shit on the mix tape Dj’s; is you crazy son. Leave the Sizzurp alone! , Orpheous “Justo” Faison must be turning in his grave right now!  Lil Wayne done burned some bridges.

     Please check out this you tube video of a response to Lil Wayne’s Mix Dj bashing rants by a famous Legendary Dj. Can someone please stick a lollipop in Lil Weezy’s mouth.

 

     Hey, my people send me your thoughts and artists, mainstream or not submit your music for review. Do the math…

     I must add I could easily go and purchase some album and review it for this feature but I want to ONLY review submissions because I am not in the business of spoiling or sweating an artist who is not on their Grizzy (grind) Why should I feature you, cause your cute and you could rap or sing. Shit there are 1 million of those but show me an artist that takes an interest in his own future and takes all possible avenues to get to 

     Shout out to all the artist mainstream and underground who submitted their music for review here at Large in Charge.

 MALVERDE- mainstream Latin artist

NYOIL-mainstream artist

AMIR SULAIMAN-mainstream spoken word artist

BOMBCHELLE-underground female rapper

WILL WHEATON-independent R&B singer

GAB GACHA-underground artist

EARTHMAN-new age independent artist

DESDAMONA-independent

LOLA DUTRONIC-electronica mainstream artist

XIOMARA MEDINA-independent artist

FELIX and ULTIMATE POWER- Latin gospel independent artists

JAH JAH-Female underground artist

KYLE RIFKIN-independent R&B Hip Hop artist

    

     L*A*W thanks for the submission –I got you next month but there is already some conflict and controversy. I hope you are ready!

You must be a Size Positive Artist, or a Plus Sized Supporter.

Thanks for reading

Super Sized Sounds with Lynx

articles@largeincharge.com

Lynx Cool Links

www.myspace.com/supersizespanishfly

www.myspace.com/somemorelynx

www.Extravagangstaradio.com

From the Plus Side

with

Emily Smiltneck

     From the Plus side will be column dedicated to short stories that deal with all aspects of Plus size Life.  Emily Smiltneck was chosen for this position because of her dedication, and realistic writing style. She captures the emotional and mental rollercoaster those who are Plus Sized go through.

 

     Emily Susanne Smiltneck lives in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan (pretty much dead center in the middle of nowhere). She is a substitute teacher, and has recently started a tutoring business. Emily is currently working on several writing projects, including a historical fiction novel and several collections of poetry.

Emily Smiltneck receives recognition in Neighbors Daily Press - See article below

     It is a great joy when our fellow Plus Sized people receive recognition for their life's work.  Join me in this Joyous moment when one of our LargeInCharge writers is seen for her contribution and great dedication to her goals in life.  Click the images above to read the article about our dear Emily. When the page open click on the article to zoom in and read it.

"Invisible" The Holy Chronicles - Part 2

by Emily Suzanne Smiltneck 

            Finally, I catch sight of Holly.  She does have another drink.  Two, actually; a girly, fruity, bright-colored drink in one hand and a bottle of beer in the other.  She is drinking from both of them, alternately, while she bends down, deep in conversation with a man sitting alone at the edge of the dance floor.  She is standing next to him, but she has snaked her neck and upper body around so that she is somehow staring him in the eye at the same time.  He has no choice but to give Holly his full attention.  She has taken up his entire field of vision.  This would drive me crazy, but he is, like most men, for reasons I cannot understand, soaking it up.  She is smiling and nodding and laughing right in his face, and it’s turning him on.  I can tell by the blank look in his eyes.  I can see him wanting to take her by the shoulders and pull her down onto his lap.  I can see him enjoying her attention, completely unaware that he is not special to her, and that although she may drag him into the bathroom for a quickie (I’ve seen her do it before), she won’t remember his face, much less his name, ten minutes from now.  He is either drunk or stupid, or maybe both.  He must be. 

Holly is holding drinks bought for her by two different men, I am sure, and seconds away from being swept off her feet by a third.  And I am sitting at our table, invisible, watching her.

            “Excuse me,” a man says, suddenly appearing at my side.  He catches me off guard and I don’t know what to say.  People never talk to me; I am invisible.  I look at him silently, asking him with my eyes what he wants.  Is it possible that he’s actually interested in talking to me, that he’s going to sit down at the table with me, buy me a drink, make me feel like I exist?

            “I was just wondering—is anyone sitting here?”

            I shake my head.

            “Cool.  Could we grab this chair, then?  We’re one short.”  He thrusts his head back and to the side and when I look where he has indicated, I see a twelve-foot-tall blonde woman who weighs seventeen pounds watching him with a smile.  I shrug my shoulders.  He takes the chair and leaves.  Now if Holly comes back, she has no place to sit.  When she returns, I should just offer her my chair, go outside, take a walk on the beach.  Get out of here and feel human again.  She’ll beg me to stay, though, because we’re having a good time.  Because we’re having a girls’ night out, partying.  But what she will really mean is that I should stay because she needs a home base, a place to sit down between men.  That she needs me with her because the contrast between us when we stand side by side makes her look better and me look worse, and it makes her look like she’s kind enough to hang out with a reject for the night.  It gives her character some depth.  Or the illusion of depth, anyway.  If I have nothing else, I have the knowledge that it’s all just an illusion.

            The night continues this way.  I sit alone, only spoken to when I am in someone’s way or they want to know if I have some matches or a lighter on me.  I remain invisible while Holly dips and dashes and dances her way around the bar, hypnotizing dozens of men with her drunken eyes and her swaying body and her bold offers of sensual pleasures.  And I strongly suspect that she is making good on her offers, because every so often she disappears completely and then reappears twenty minutes or a half hour later. 

            And when it is almost time for the bar to close, Holly finally comes back.  She has a man in tow, a man with dark curls and tight jeans and a black leather jacket.

            “This is Mark,” she tells me.  “His brother is in charge of entertainment here.  I’m trying to hook Tom up with an improv show.  He says we can do it.”  Tom heads up an improv comedy troupe, of which Holly and I are both a part.  I am assuming she hasn’t mentioned that the Tom she has been speaking of is her boyfriend, and this curly-headed man has probably been so accommodating to her because she has made him some of her usual promises.  “We’re gonna go hang on the beach with him for a while and talk about it.”

            I nod in Mark’s direction.  He nods back but doesn’t speak to me.  I understand.  I’m used to it.  I’m not his type.  He doesn’t know how to talk to women like me, women who think better than they look.  I gracefully duck out of their conversation and let them carry on with their not-so-innocent flirtation.  Holly asks if there is somewhere we can stop for beer on the way to the beach.  Mark suggests we get it here so we don’t have to stop.  We go to the bar and tell the bartender what we want. 

I don’t know why I am calling us we, because I am only following and watching.  I am not part of “we.”  They have forgotten that I am here.

            Mark is parked in the same city parking lot we are, so he walks us to Holly’s car.  He and Holly are both too drunk to drive, but because I am invisible, I say nothing.  I get in Holly’s car.  I put on my seatbelt.  Even though I am not generally a praying person, I pray.  It must work, because she seems to be driving pretty well, but still, I am nervous.

            Mark drives toward the beach and Holly follows, because she doesn’t know the way.  Mark does, I assume, but beer has clouded the part of his brain that remembers things.  I know this because he drives past the beach road without ever slowing down.  I know where we are going because I went to school in this Lake Superior town, but I’m not sure if I should say anything, invisible as I am.  With Mark in a completely different car, on the other hand, I guess it’s worth a try.

            “We just passed the beach road,” I say.  And I must not be invisible, because Holly responds.

            “Well, where are we going?”

            “Not a clue.  Flash your lights at him and maybe he’ll pull over.”

            She doesn’t have to, though.  Before she can figure out where the knob that controls her headlights is, Mark pulls to the side of the road.  Holly manages to do the same and we wait while he swings around in the perfect illegal u-turn.  We follow and soon we are driving past the road once more. 

            “That’s it, right there,” I tell Holly.  “Pull over and flash your lights.  Then back up and turn.  With any luck, he’ll see us in his rearview.”  Or with even more luck, he won’t, I think.  We’d probably be a lot better off without him, especially since the six pack of beer is in his car.  But he obviously sees us because he makes another u-turn and is soon following us down the road.  We park, get out, walk onto the beach.  Again, I have ceased to exist.  They talk, laugh, hold each others arms, partly because they are mad to be in contact with one another and partly because each is too drunk to stand alone.  They sit on a log together.  I kick off my shoes and tie my long, flowy skirt in a knot over one hip.  I do not want to watch them from my shroud of invisibility because I am tired of being invisible, and I am tired of being lonely while I watch everyone around me not being lonely.  And so I go to the wet sand where the inky black water of three a.m. is swelling gently onto the shore and I wade back and forth in the cool waves.

            This serves a few purposes.  It gets me away from Holly and Mark, who are now drinking beer and openly groping one another.  It lets me feel the water and sand on my feet, which makes me somehow real again.  And it serves to attract some attention, because Lake Superior is notoriously cold and anyone who ventures in generally does attract some attention.  Especially on nights like tonight when the leftover humidity in the air is turning cold without the sun to warm it.  Autumn is sneaking in.

            Mark’s voice reaches my ears over the swooshing of the water on the sand.

            “You crazy, girl?  That water’s gotta be freezin’.”

            I smile to myself.  The cold water has somehow made me visible again.  I make my way back toward Mark and Holly and lay on my stomach in the sand.  My skirt is still tied at my hip and my breasts are almost spilling out of my tank top, but I do not try to cover myself.  I will do anything to remain visible, anything to be real.  Holly is now wrapped in a blanket.  Her Vicodin bottle has somehow found its way out of her purse and is lying on the sand.  It is nearly empty and, from the way in which both of them are grinning loosely, I guess that they have each chased at least a few of them down with the beer, of which only one bottle remains. 

            Holly is apparently finding it difficult to speak at the moment, and instead of trying she is staring vacantly into the darkness.  Mark has had a little less to drink, perhaps, and maybe not as many Vicodin, because he is able to talk just fine.  But he’s speaking to me now, not Holly, so I can only assume that he’s almost as far gone as she is, because sober men don’t start conversations with me.  Drunk men don’t either, for that matter, so it must be the Vicodin that’s done it.  We talk about improv and how it works and where we’ve performed, and the possibility of Mark’s brother hiring us.  Mark talks and talks and talks, allowing me to break in only occasionally.  Holly looks as if she wants to say something from time to time, but by the time she opens her mouth to talk, she either forgets the words or forgets how to talk, I’m not sure which.

            I am shivering now, because the water was very cold, and the wind is very cold, and the sand is cold, too.  It must be three-thirty in the morning.  I am tired.  I am hungry.  And I am chilled to the bone.

            “You must be freezing,” Mark says.  I’m surprised that he’s able to think about the way another person feels, because I am pretty sure he is not feeling anything at all, himself.

            “I am,” I tell him.

            “Why didn’t you bring a coat?”

            “I like to travel light.  And if I don’t have a coat, there’s always a chance that someone will take pity, throw an arm around me to warm me up,” I say.  The darkness, the cold, the hours since I have slept, have made me bold.  I am not hinting for him to throw an arm around me.  The fact that Holly’s fake charms have worked their magic on him is enough to convince me that he is not worth my time.  But before I can react, he is lying on the beach next to me, an arm over my shoulders.

........To be Continued Next Month

Thanks for reading

From the Plus Side with Emily Smiltneck

articles@largeincharge.com

Emily's Cool Links

www.myspace.com/heartsoulspirit

Good 4 U Food

Recipes for Good... Healthy Food

By: Xander - The Food Dude

Got Beans

by Xander The Food Dude

This story was told to me some odd years ago when I was in college and having a hard time with the studies and finances.  I ran across a well written version of it in the last few months.  Take a moment to read it and ask the last question of yourself

You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as though one problem was solved a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen.

She filled three pots with water.

In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans.

She let them sit and boil without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners.

She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked. "What's the point, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity--boiling water--but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique; however, after they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. " When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level?

How do you handle Adversity?

ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG, OR A COFFEE BEAN?

The true genius of this story lies in its ability to have us evaluate our ability to be resilient in times of peril and danger.  Do we let circumstances get the best of us or do we make the best of circumstances?  Do we allow our conditions to make us soft and week or do we get stronger with challenges?

In the few months, most recently last week, the loss of two of the family elders.  I started on a project for the family that has invigorated me with the responsibility of years.  In some sense I have been given the task of re-educating the family to their own history.  In the coming months I want to share with you what I have seen come to pass in my self. 

This story means a lot to me.  It’s one of those that enter my mind when adversity hits.  Am I allowing the sorrow of the moment to cloud my judgment or to compromise what I know to be right from wrong? 

These last couples of weeks have been times when questions have been raised in what the family will do how they will do it, and when they will do it.   For our family, the remaining elders are the ones who kept the youngsters together.  The fear is that the classic idea of the family will no longer exist and each will fade off never to see each other again.

For us the question remains as this story ask, are we carrot, eggs, or coffee beans?

Ask yourself how you react to stress and adversity in your lives, question whether it is a source of strength or does it push you to your limits.  Answering that question may be the beginning of new look at how you handle situations that scare you.

Until Next Time…  May God Bless You All… Take the time to tell you families that love them, show them that you cherish them.

Xander's Recipe of the Month

Coffee Cheesecake

 

INGREDIENTS
3 cups buttermilk baking mix
1/4 cup white sugar
1/4 cup butter, melted
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 eggs
1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
1/4 cup strawberry, apricot or raspberry preserves
 
DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
To make the crust, in a medium bowl, combine the baking mix, 1/4 cup sugar, melted butter and milk. Stir until a dough forms, then turn the dough out onto a clean surface that has been dusted with some baking mix. Knead for 30 turns. Pat the dough into the bottom and up the sides of an un-greased 9 inch round cake pan. In the same bowl, beat together the remaining 1/2 cup sugar, vanilla, eggs and cream cheese. Pour over the dough in the pan.
Bake for 30 minutes in the preheated oven, until the edges are golden and the filling is set. Allow the coffee cake to cool for 10 minutes, then spread the fruit preserves over the top.

Thank you for Reading Good Food 4U

By Xander the Food Dude

Please send thoughts and comments to

articles@largeincharge.com

Big Girls on the Red Carpet

   

Cher was born in Los Angeles California in 1955. Being adopted by wonderful parents she grew up in the city of Encino, and was always surrounded by loving caring family and friends. Growing up with a thin mother, who was always trying to get Cher to lose weight, diets of all types, sending her to fat camp, bribing her, and
not ever having sweets in their home.

Growing up Cher never was lacking in friends and boyfriends who loved her personality and her kindness.
Guys in her life always were saying your so pretty but why don't you lose some weight. This she heard all of her life but her weight just would go up and down.

Cher has always loved seeing others happy and helping others to find their inner self and beauty.
Ten years ago, she found the plus size community and she knew this is where she would focus on helping others who were like her and had some of her experiences and pain that she went through.

Cher has been in the community working with others for size acceptance. She was seen on "Dr.Phil, "Good Morning America","Entertainment Tonight", "Russian, British, Japanese,and Viet Vietnamese Television". Also a documentary filmed at the Las Vegas Bash on the Travel channel, and Current TV, a online station, with numerous radio interviews talking about size acceptance.

She was a promoter for the number one BBW hip hop club in California, and seeing people come into the club and make new friends and feel good about themselves warmed her heart.

Her love for helping others to feel better about themselves and to help mainstream accept the plus size community is her focus and goal. She is Vice President of "Hollywood Cure For Pain" a celebrity movement to help those who suffer in chronic pain. She is now showing mainstream that "Big Girls can rock the Red Carpet"! Besides being a wife, mother and activist, playing with her Chocolate Lab Ruby is what she loves best!

National's Lampoon's one, two many

Article by: Cher Rue 

 

April 10th Thursday night was the Movie Premier Red Carpet event for the new film National Lampoon's one,two, many starring that funny guy from Howard Stern, Stuttering John Melendez who had perfect speech, ok well it was a lot of profanity but a funny guy. He was the writer/director and star, came along way from being in a studio with Howard.

 

Screening at ArcLight Hollywood, held the event and premier of the movie. The after party was

at Cabana Club across the street from the Arclight.This was defiantly a "A" list crowd but they sure loved there fans and were happy to stop and take photos with the people who asked. I was especially impressed with Jim J Bullock who was so sweet and you could tell he was a special person, he was awesome in the part of the psychiatrist in the film. It was a story about...... no I think you should find out on your own.

 

Celebrities that attended were Jay Leno, Kevin Eubanks, Robin Leach, Ming Na, Kris Jenner,

Nancy O'Dell, Collective Soul, Kim and Chloe Kardashian, Jim J Bullock, Kris Black, Michael Copon, Jillian Barberia, David Faustino, Lorenzo Lamas, Lisa Cash, Phoebe Price, Deedee Bigelow, Jamie Carson, Katie Lohman, Tanya Roberts, Fawn,Jim J Bullock, Alan Thick and

Cher Rue.

 

The after party was so fun, with open bar and appetizers for the guests, the red carpet was brought to the club and more photos were taken. It was a packed crowd and everyone was so friendly and having a good time.

 

Until next time..... from the Red Carpet Hollywood!

 

Use the arrows and to view pictures, click the thumb nailed picture to see it enlarged
 

 

Thanks for reading Big Girls on the Red Carpet

articles@largeincharge.com

More than a Teddy Bear

 

   

I am a big guy with a big heart.  My favorite thing in the world to do is to make others laugh.  It gives a sense of calm and peace to both people involved and there is nothing better than to walk up to that person later in th day and just see the smile on their face from the memory they have of what you did earlier. 

 

I am a family man as well.  I live in Montreal, Quebec with my wonderful wife Naomi and my two adorable children Connor and Brett.  They are the sun around which I revolve and without them my life would have more tragedy than comedy in it I guarantee.

 

I was raised in Southern California, Moved to New York, Moved to Kansas and then back to New York.  Follow me so far?  I have a perspective on the entire country I think, from the surfers in Los Angeles, to the Wheat Farmers in Kansas City to the Kodak Managers in Rochester.

 

I am sick and tired of mainstream media not allowing the plus-sized person, be they man or woman, to be represented fairly in the media.  You have wonderfully bright spots in the darkness, like our own Raqui, but the rest of the clouds have yet to be broken through and I hope I can help in that.

 

I am a open man who loves to talk.  You want to ask me a question, go ahead.  You have an idea for something you want me to write?  Go ahead.  I don't mind posting my email (kaotiks@gmail.com) because I do not shy away from responding to people.  Plus, I have a really good spam filter.

 

Love and Respect to all.  James, by the way, they also call me Kaobear

I Refuse to Waste Away
with James Nealon

 

     You can see it on every billboard, every commercial every movie.  Men who have the physiques of Greek gods, the diets of lab rats and the daily exercise regimen of a Olympic athlete.

 

     Now, while doing this is all fine and dandy, I am never going to knock exercise of course, I refuse to sit patiently through yet another Bowflex commercial, or some mythical Ab Fixer, Butt Shrinker, Core Builder without feeling enraged.

 

Not all men are going to be, nor do they have to be these specimens from on high.

 

     Why can't we look the way WE feel comfortable looking?  Why do I have to go and spend $3000 on a machine that will make me look like everyone else when I can do nothing of the sort, save myself the money to spend on my family and be as individual as the rays of sun that hit the earth on a daily basis?

 

     Men, do not be made to feel guilty because of these ads.  Don't watch them and then look at yourself and hang your head in shame and disgust.  Take pride in yourself and say Bowflex be damned!

 

     If your mind and spirit are the way you want them to be, if you feel a peace that only you can understand, then my God friends you have achieved everything you will ever need.

 

     These testosterone driven megalomaniac men who think like the machines they are so obsessed with rarely have happy lives.  They have failing marriages, they lie and cheat on their wives, they may even abuse them if they have been partaking of the chemicals that assist strength trainers these days.

 

     What about us?  The so called “fat men”?  We are the dads who play with their kids, the happily married men whose wives adore them, the one who has friends that laugh at their jokes and who laughs at theirs in return.

 

I assure you that I would rather be calm in my heart than a stone in my shell.

Thanks for reading More than a Teddy Bear

James Links:

http://thoughtsfromthebear.wordpress.com

articles@largeincharge.com

Hot & Heavy Entertainment

   

     Stephanie Baham is a native of Los Angeles, CA and now resides in the San Francisco area. She's a 38 year old professional who has long enjoyed the craft of writing. Her other interests include film, theatre, yoga, dancing, literature and politics. Stephanie holds a Bachelor's degree from Cal State University, Long Beach in Theatre Arts. She is currently working towards her degree in Psychology.

He's cool, he's big, and he's SuperBad!
with Stephanie Baham

 

Super Bad - Photo by: Melissa Moseley © 2006 Columbia Pictures Industries, Inc. All rights reserved.

 

     Jonah Hill is a 24 year old actor who left his hometown of Los Angeles to study writing & drama at New School University in New York.  He started writing & performing in plays at the Black and White Bar in the East Village.  There he was discovered by Dustin Hoffman’s children, Rebecca & Jake.  Those two introduced Jonah to dear old dad.  Hoffman, impressed by young Jonah’s talent, got him an audition for I Heart Huckabees.  Jonah landed a role in the movie and thus began his movie career.

 

     Jonah has been in several hit movies since then, including Knocked Up, Evan Almighty, 40 Year Old Virgin and Accepted.  Jonah’s latest claim to fame was playing Seth…the lead character in the hit comedy Superbad.  I would classify this young fellow as a BHM (Big Handsome Man) who is quickly rising through the ranks of Hollywood’s comedy elite.  Some say he’s the next Chris Farley.  But I beg to differ.  Although Chris was an exceptional talent, I believe Jonah has a style all his own.

 

     There aren’t too many big men out there getting the lead in major motion pictures.  Luckily, we’ve been blessed with a few amazing talents who’ve had their share of lead roles, such as John Candy, Chris Farley & Cedric The Entertainer.  I’m thankful that Jonah is keeping the tradition going.

 

     I’m mostly thankful for the fact that their size is not what their roles are all about.  They don’t have to rely on a constant stream of fat jokes to be funny.  These gentlemen have proven to the world that talent comes in all sizes.

 

      I often wonder when talented men of size such as Jonah Hill will be offered the “action hero” roles.  Would he be considered for the lead role in the next Transformers movie?  Or will the movie studio claim it’s too “physically demanding” for a person of size?  How can any movie studio show “concern” about physical demands when there are stunt doubles standing by so the stars never have to break a sweat?  Listen up Hollywood, there are some big men out there who have much more stamina then your pretty boy actors.  Don’t underestimate the big man! 

 

But I digress.

 

     Jonah Hill is a rising star and I will certainly keep my eye on him.  I would like to leave you with a quote from Jonah about living life as a movie star:

 

     “People think that once you're in movies your life changes in a crazy way. It really doesn't. If you choose to have it change in a crazy way, it will. I have my same groups of friends I was friends with in high school. We're all a bunch of really normal guys.” – Jonah Hill

Thanks for reading Hot & Heavy Entertainment

articles@largeincharge.com

DID YOU KNOW?

National and International Plus Size News

 

     I am a former plus-size model and stage performer. I have written articles that have appeared in local newspapers, college magazines and I was a sports editor for my school newspaper. Currently I have a book coming out in May 08, How to Make a Living Without a Job: the Guide to Professional Temping. It will be available online through Amazon and can be ordered through Barnes & Noble or Borders. I split my time between the Bay Area, CA and Houston, TX.

Plus Sized Hotels Equal Big Business
with Iolande Argent

Okay the weather is changing; and the bug to travel is in the air. But where can savvy, Plus-size people go to have a little fun in the sun?

Well thanks to the growing number of plus-size-friendly vacation packages, heavier-set folks are having their day in the sun.

Let’s start with Mexico's 112-room resort “Freedom Paradise” where the motto is “Live Large, Live Free”. This lovely resort offers services that cater to the Plus-Size crowd. Enjoy a romantic visit to the exciting Riviera Maya. The hotel, which caters to people of all sizes, has broad doorways, reinforced furniture and extra large chairs. Freedom Paradise is located on a secluded, long stretch or white sand beach, surrounded by tropical forests and the Caribbean Sea which protects against the stares that occur on public beaches and make things uncomfortable for Plus-size vacationers.

Freedom Paradise is the first vacation spot of its kind. It is located on the tip of Mexico’s Yucatan Peninsula near the famous Mayan Ruins of Tulum.  It’s about 90 minutes from Cancun Airport in the popular Riviera Maya. For those of us that are eco-travelers rest assured that Freedom Paradise combines beautiful white sand beaches, eco-archeological parks and important cultural sight seeing spots.

And for those of us Plus-size travelers who have lots of friends that want souvenirs there’s great shopping at Playa del Carmen. Okay if you simply must do the “bling-bling” thing; you can spend a day in Cancun which is just up the beach.

"It's not a hotel just for large people. It's a size-friendly place where anyone can enjoy a holiday," said owner Jurrian Klink, a Dutchman who thought up the idea while observing the behavior of larger-sized guests at his former hotel. "What we noticed was that a lot of oversized people don't feel comfortable at resorts."

Klink pulled out all the stops when creating the size-friendly utopia. Staff members of all sizes were hired, psychologists were contacted and low-fat menus were drawn up for those wanting to watch their waist. Advocates of specialized extra-large vacations recognize that society's prejudices often impact people's ability to feel comfortable even on vacation.

So why not visit this 5 star romantic setting in what has proven to be one of Mexico’s best kept secrets. They offer all inclusive packages so you’ll never need to worry about money. It’s great fun for singles, couples or families. All you have to do is come and relax because everything is included! Well almost everything; massage on the beach has a small nominal extra charge around $50 for an hour. 

Before you go on your travels don’t forget to visit www.LivingXL.com to pick up your plus-size travel accessories. Living XL offers things from car seatbelt extenders (in the top three car interior colors – use in your personal car as well as your rentals), airline seatbelt extenders (the feature them by number and show your which airline belts they work with), to fanny/waist packs that can go around a 64” waistline. They also feature other handy travel accessories like larger dress/suit luggage and luggage carriers with extended arms for less back strain when you’re pulling your gear.

As an avid traveler and BBW I recommend the “Knee Defender” also available from Living XL. I’m 5’10 and needless to say when you can’t get a seat without a row in front of you; then these little devices save your legs. Simply slip them into the reclining area of the seat in front of you and it prevents it from coming back into your lap.

And if you are visiting a spa; check out the Robes and Slippers area and other Bath accessories on the site, everything for the modern-day Plus-size traveler.

The dream of a worry-free vacation has now become a reality for those whose weight can be an obstacle.

Let’s join the staff of Freedom Paradise in shouting “Live Large, Live Free”.

Thanks for reading Did You Know

http://ivargent.spaces.live.com

articles@largeincharge.com

Why, Oh Why

    Erin says she grew up in a rural Texas town, the small town life atmosphere has always appealed to me and that is why I currently reside here. I have the city life girl burrowed deep within me though and sometimes she is able to escape to Dallas and have a good time. I was a very awkward child, and when ADD was not even understood, I had it, and spent a lot of time in the principals office. I grew up very much a tomboy. Once I hit 18, I set out on the world and started school. My major was to be journalism, then in 1999, tragedy hit me and I nearly died in a car accident. The outer wounds healed rather quickly leaving me with the inner scars I still deal with daily. I try to see each day as a new one and keep family and friends really close to my heart where they belong. I enjoy music and photography and my love for writing has stayed with me since I was a child. Now as a 29 year old woman, I spend most days still day dreaming and working hard to make them come true. I am currently in school full time and will complete my journalism degree with a minor in music. Pink is my absolute favorite color! I write poetry and am currently working on my first book about my life.

 

Erin was chosen because of her flair with words and her ability to find real day to day instances in which Plus Sized people say WHY, Oh, WHY.

Overcoming

with Erin Thompson

 

“Your sense of style is your sense of mind. And my mind always says, ‘I’m sexy.’” – Mo’Nique

    

     Being overweight is something physical, right?  So why oh why can more women not embrace this physical thing and let their souls and personalities soar? These ladies must start feeling and looking sexy even with the bodies they are in.

 

     I often find myself calling myself “fat” way more than I should. I want to banish that word from my vocabulary and make sense and positively of the word sexy! I was in a shoe store the other day and a woman overheard me say to my mom, “Why can they not make cuter shoes for fat people?” She made her way into my presence and said – “I don’t know you, but girl, don’t call yourself fat, you are sexy!” She was overweight herself, but her confidence was different than mine and I wanted what she had. 

 

     We talked for a few moments and I realized something, I too, can be that confident and that “sexy” even if I am not up to the standards that society has set for the sexy woman today.  Why can I not just accept the body I am in and make the best of it? Most of you already know the answer to that. It is because we allow other people to tell us what is acceptable instead of looking into ourselves or listening to the people around us who really love and care for us. They are in our lives for some reason. They saw something in us that stands alone and they stay by our sides because we are damn sexy! So stand up girls and say it, SAY: I AM SEXY and NO ONE WILL TELL ME OTHERWISE!  

Thanks for reading Why, Oh Why

Erin's MySpace:

www.myspace.com/erynmason

articles@largeincharge.com

Time to tell it like it is!

    

     This is an experiment in Confession, you can anonymously confess, or let everyone know something that you feel.  Every Month we will post all the confessions and you can come and view them and be inspired to make your own.

 

     You can send in a picture,  You can make a graphic,  You can just send in your written words.  You can do it anonymously and get something off your chest.  You can let everyone know who you are and liberate yourself.

 

     Hope you enjoy Confession!  Send in your own check the bottom of this page!

CONFESSIONS

 

 

I sometimes see my ex who put me down all the time, He has a new skinny woman and I feel like screaming at him

"YOUR A LIAR..... SHE SHOULD KNOW YOUR FUCKING FAT CHICKS ON THE SIDE!!!

 

****CONFESSION*****

 

I tell everyone I am a confident BBW, But I don't think I am beautiful!

 

 

****CONFESSION*****

 

SORRY LADIES!!! not every big woman is beautiful. 

Many of you have treated me so badly that I think I am better off with skinny girls.

 

 

****CONFESSION*****

 

Dear Raqui, this was my Confession last month. 

The girl who I was talking about found out that I sent this to you. 

She then asked me out.  But I rejected her.  I am going to find me the right one!!!
    

I had a friend who always said for years she will date any man big or small who meets all the requirements.

 

I have a good job, VERY GOOD, I am more than financially stable.  I am not lazy,  I have no children, I love children.

I volunteer in my community 8 hours a week.  I have never been to jail. 

I am educated but am still in touch with where I came from.

I am told often how handsome I am, I am a big man but I like to be active and take part in sports.

I am kind and generous to those who are kind to me.  I took care of my mother until she passed.

I will take care for my woman and my children.  I believe in quality time and romance.

I want to make love as often as she does and will work my hardest to please her.

I love women and respect them. 

I am open to going to church even though I am not affiliated with any religion right now.

I like to cook though I could use some help in the kitchen.

I am not stuck up and I don't like to argue.

I own a home with land and want to get married in my own backyard

where I can build a gazebo for me and my wife

to sit under in our old age and remember when we got married.

 

When I asked my friend to date me she said NO!!!!

I asked her why and she couldn't come up with any reason.

She finally confessed it was because I was a Big Man.

 

****CONFESSION*****

 

Raqui she said YES!!!!! - We are going to get married. THANK YOU!!!

 

 

****CONFESSION*****

 

 

Send in your Confession NOW!

Thanks for reading Confession

Send in your Confession to

articles@largeincharge.com

Large In Charge Guest Spot

We want to hear and see your talents!

One of our favorite parts of the Magazine.  The Guest Spot is for our readers to submit there talents to be viewed.  We want to see all you wonderful supporters making moves of your own.  If you write poetry, short stories, commentaries, or just thoughts in general, please submit them to us.  If your a designer we want to see pictures of your clothing.   We would love to include your talents in our newsletter.  We hope you take an active part in the L.I.C. newsletter. Send in your article, poetry, comments to - articles@largeincharge.com

NOTE: The Opinion of the writer is not always the opinion of The Large in Charge Staff.  We support the Right to all views.  We do not Condemn or Approve writing based on our personal thoughts.  We approve writing based on if the subject is a concern for the BBW / SSBBW / BHM Community.  Thank you for your writing and please send in those articles!  - The Large in Charge Staff

Being Friendly

A submission from our Writer's Search Applicant's

Written By: Venicia Vaden

When I was a little girl, I was always friendly as hell to whoever was in my presence. I honestly never met a stranger and I did not see race, color, class, or creed when trying to get to know people. Age meant nothing to me either.

One summer my great-grandmother took me with her to a funeral. I met many senior citizens that day. In my mind, they were all my friends. All they had to say was hello. My great-grandmother was impressed and concerned at the same time. When she returned me to my mother she said, "Venicia is the friendliest child I have ever met." "She will talk to anyone, and she has no fear." Let me remind you all, at this time, the nation was not plagued with pedophile phobia. So it was no problem for people to allow their children to roam the streets and the neighborhoods and talk to strangers without reservation. At least where I was from. Well as I got older, nothing changed. I am still that same "people loving" little girl. Anyone who knows me can attest to this-- I love meeting new people. Unfortunately, this is not always a positive thing and I have had much trauma from meeting strangers, but it has not stopped me.

     Getting to the nature of this article. I was recently reminded of one of those times when a stranger was really a "STRANGER," and my friendliness got me in trouble.

 
       I was going to the NCO Club on the base here in Montgomery. That night I thought I was bringing sexy back. I had on, I am embarrassed to say, a pair of tights with a flair bottom jacket--and nothing else. The jacket stopped at my knees so if I bent over, that's right, nothing but ASS in your face (and y'all know I have PLENTY of it). I don't remember exactly how old I was but I would guess about 21, maybe younger. Well, I went to the club with my girlfriend April and a few other girls. We were dancing our asses off. I know I was dancing like I was trying to pay some rent. LOL. I, of course, noticed a gentleman watching me.

     Ohhh honey...I really started doing it then. I was dropping it as low as I could get it, and when it wouldn't get any lower, yes y'all, I did a split and started bouncing with it (it was the early to mid '90s so give me a break). But shit, what was I thinking? So, I sat down after almost damaging my pelvic bone for life, and the gentleman made his way to my table. He introduced himself, and I will refer to him as Mr. K. I then introduced myself. I could tell he was older than I was, and I am sure he thought I was older. I recall him offering to buy me a drink, and I accepted, trying to be a big girl, even though I knew I was not a drinker.

     The conversation progressed, and to be very honest I was slightly impressed. Though I remember the conversation not being about shit, he was beautiful. My goodness was he beautiful! You know how our common sense leaves us when eye candy is present. I don't know what I was saying, I was just there taking all of his fineness in. I felt real "top notch" bitch like. LOL. At any rate, to progress the story, he asked me if I had a man, where I lived, what my occupation was-- all of that surface bullshit. I answered-- probably 50% of it true-- but the conversation continued. As the night progressed, I danced a little more; mingled a little more; flirted a little more, all of the while catching him watching me. Sure that he had caught the "Big Kahuna" for the night, he settled at the table, cognac in hand, and did not approach or talk to any other women for the rest of the night. He was certain he had secured him a piece of ass for the evening and wanted to be sure to send the message to me that I was "his choice." WHATEVER! It worked. LOL.

     As the night began to come to an end, I made sure I left out of the club before he could see me, so that I could see if he would be looking for me when he got out. Sure enough, he came out and subtly tried to scan the parking lot for traces of me. I watched him look for me for awhile and finally when my ego was full to the brim, I made my way close enough to him so that he would see me talking to my girls, and think it was a coincidence that he came across me again. Damn, the games we play. Anyway, he made his way to me and said, "I thought you left." I said, "Really...now why would I do that?" He smiled. He then made more small talk and asked me how I was getting home. I said, "I am the one with the I.D. card and the sticker on my car to get on the base, so I usually end up driving." He said, "Well that's too bad because I wanted to take you home." We talked a little while longer and as the crowd started to die down, he asked if I would go to his place once I took my girls home. At first, I was not budging. The conversation was simple but his patience was beginning to turn me on like his appearance had. I then decided to let my girl drive my car so that I could go with him. "April, I am going with this nigga, so drive my car back to the house and I will get the keys later." She looked at me like I was crazy, which I was, and said, "Are you crazy?" "Aaaaalright, that nigga fuck yo shit up, don't call me." What was interesting about this was, I was not sexually active and my friends knew this, so they could not understand why I would put myself in these situations.

     Well, as I stated earlier, I love meeting new people and I will give them the benefit of the doubt until they give me a reason to think otherwise. I love good conversation and it is always interesting for me to find a person that matches wits with me. Mr. K was no exception to this rule. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Moving on, we get to his car and I remember it was yellow...as HELL, and the windows were darkly tinted. I think I felt a little apprehensive then. Who in the hell drives a canary yellow car? Strange. Well, I got in anyway. He put on some mellow music and we began to drive off. Now, as many of you know, you have to drive a certain speed limit while on any military installation. He slowly pulled out of the parking lot and not soon after we turned the first corner, he was talking about what he wanted to do to me once he got me to his place. He reached over and put his hand on my leg. I said, "Wait a minute, I am not going with you to have sex with you." He looked at me as if to say, that's what you think.

     There were more advances and as he began to slide his hand up my leg which was only clothed with tights, I said, "You know what, I think you should take me back." I moved his hand and he sped up. I began to get uncomfortable and nervous. I again asked him to take me back because I felt that I had made a mistake. He said. "No, you will be alright once we get there." As the car started moving faster, I opened up the door and he started yelling at me to close it. I said, "I will close it if you will turn around." Not only did he not turn around, he grabbed my wrist and started driving even faster. The next thing I knew he started cursing and slowing down. I felt that it was my opportunity to escape. Yes, escape because I had officially been kidnapped. NO BULLSHIT! So as he continued cursing and slowing down, I snatched out of the grip he had on me and proceeded to get ready to make the great "get-away." Just as I got my foot outside of the car, I heard the sirens. I got out of the car and the police told me not to move. I was so busy trying to keep his hands from under my dress that I did not see the flashing blue lights. Mr. K said to me, "Look at what you have done." Once the police approached the car, they asked me what I was doing. I told them I just wanted to go back to the club where my car was. They attempted to question me and I said that I left with him, did not really know him and that I wanted to go back. I had no desire to get him in any more trouble than what he was already in for speeding on the base, so I said nothing more than, "I just want to walk back." I could tell the officer knew something was not right. He looked at me dead in my eyes and without saying a word, I could feel him tell me, "I bet you won't do that shit anymore." I felt the chastisement that he was giving me through his eye contact and body language. He said, "Wait, I will take you back." I replied, "No, I'm fine, I will walk." Staring through my soul, he replied, "Are you sure you are okay?" "Yes, I will be fine," I said. I was mortified. I felt so stupid. What a horrible decision. All I could do was turn around and walk.

     I called myself every idiot I could think of. I think I would have slapped the shit out of myself if I wasn't in public. Here I was, limping back to the club with a jacket and some tights on. My hair frizzled, my soul frazzled. The officer was fine as hell, wrist was sore and my pelvic bone was still throbbing from that stupid ass split. "Why me Lord?" I could not understand why I kept doing that to myself. Well, I would love to say that in conclusion, I learned this great lesson, but that would be a lie. It is now ten or so years later and that has happened to me at least 5 times again since that incident. I will give you the details later.

The moral of the story is, yes you can be too friendly, and there is nothing wrong with that. The problem comes in when you get in the car and leave....LOLOL
Unfortunately this is a true story.

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