Add LargeInCharge to your MySpace Friend List
CLICK HERE
Welcome to Large In Charge Magazine
Issue #52 -
July 2008
Welcome to LargeInCharge Magazine
In this Issue of LIC
Raqui's Spot - with
our Founder Raqui
Super Sized Sounds ~ SUPERSIZED SPANISHFLY LYNX
From the Plus Side ~ Emily Smiltneck
Good 4 U Food ~ Xander
Big Girls on the Red Carpet
~ Cher Rue
More than a Teddy Bear ~
James Nealon
Hot & Heavy Entertainment
~ Stephanie Baham
DID YOU KNOW? ~ Iolande Argent
National & International Plus
Sized News
WHY, OH WHY ~ Erin
Thompson
Guest Spot - Shelly Willer
CONFESSIONS - Let It Go and
Confess!
Fashion Furious - Fashion Finds with Plus Size style.
Product of the Month - Products for People of Size
Ask Raqui - Get some advice from one Big person to another.
LargeInChargeDating
- Dating for the Large People who are going to be in Charge of
their Love Lives!
LargeInCharge Friends
- The Place for Big People to make Friends and maybe MUCH
MORE!
Feature of the Month
Chamien Canton
Plus Sized Author
Chamien Canton
I have not
been able to meet my Chamien in person. Though I hear she saw me at
the Curversity Awards December of 2007. This is where I was
the Lucky winner of a gift basket featuring Ms. Canton MARVELOUS
BOOK "Not His Type" (seen below) Honestly at first glance I
wasn't feeling the cover and I thought it would be one of those
kinda thick chick books complaining about love and crap.
But
being true to my belief NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER I pulled that
book open and started to read. I WAS HOOKED IMMEDIATELY. While the woman
in this book is not my size she was defiantly not small and had THICK
CHICK POWER!!! But her feelings about finding her dream man was
something I think many MALE AND FEMALE plus sized people can relate to.
I refuse to tell more
because I will ruin the book and IT IS A MUST READ on the Raqui list of
books. Chamien has an amazing talent and inspires me. She is
also a wonderful woman who represents us in a remarkable way.
All of her books are
resources for the Plus Sized Community. Ms. Canton was generous enough
to donate books to our Cover Model Winner last year. Her Down that Aisle
in Style book has brought her recognition with Television appearances
and Radio Show interviews. This Savvy book is a necessity for any
Plus Sized Bride.
Let me have the Honor to
Introduce you to Chamein Canton!!!
Interview
www.LargeInCharge.com:
What is your name (Real and or Stage)?
Chamein Canton
www.LargeInCharge.com:
Where are you originally from, and where is your home state now?
I’m from Amityville New
York
www.LargeInCharge.com:
Tell us about your home life, children, marital status, etc.
I’m a divorced mother
of adult twin sons Scott and Sean who are 21 years old. I’ve had MS
for a little over 12 years now and I don’t let it get in the way of
my forging ahead to meet my goals.
www.LargeInCharge.com:
Do you consider yourself a person of Size?
Yes. I’ve always been
the ‘big girl’ and I used to let it bother me. Unfortunately it took
a major illness for me to realize I was letting my size keep me from
living my life. So I stopped worrying about it and concentrated on
living.
www.LargeInCharge.com:
Have you always shown an interest in writing?
Yes. Growing up I liked
to write my thoughts down in a journal. It helped me remember
certain events and how I felt at the time.
www.LargeInCharge.com:
How old where you when you began to write and what did you write?
I was eight and I’d
just seen a high school musical (no reference intended) I liked it
so much I wrote a play.
www.LargeInCharge.com:
What inspired you to write as a child and what made you take the
step toward making it a career?
When I was younger I
loved that writing could take me to a different place. As a writer
you can create a made to order. However, I didn’t get into writing
as a career until I was about 32 years old.
www.LargeInCharge.com:
We would like to know about your education, are you formally
educated?
I went to college after
I had my children. I got my A.A.S in Paralegal Studies in 1992 from
Briarcliffe. In 1994 I went to Empire State College’s Center for
Distance Learning where I majored in Business Management and
Marketing.
www.LargeInCharge.com:
Have you taken courses or classes for writing?
I can’t say I took any
formal classes. My twin uncles are both teachers and they worked
with me on writing when I was younger. In fact I was the only kid
who got homework assignments from her uncles.
www.LargeInCharge.com:
When did you publish your first book and what was it about?
My first book was the
prequel to my wedding book. You’re Getting Married? was about an
engaged plus size woman who finds out the world doesn’t embrace all
brides to be. It was released in 2000 under Writers Club Press.
www.LargeInCharge.com:
How did you get your work published, self published, publishing
company?
I had literary agent
representation which really helped the process along. Agented
writers have a better chance of getting published.
www.LargeInCharge.com:
Who is your manager, PR person etc.?
I would love to tell
you I have a publicist and manager but the truth is I do all the
work myself. I can’t tell you it’s been easy but luckily I majored
in Business Marketing and Management, so I just took those
principles and applied it to PR. It takes a lot of work and
perseverance but I’m making headway.
www.LargeInCharge.com:
Tell us about the first time you saw your published book, how did
you feel?
It reminded me of
when I had my sons. I had a tough high risk pregnancy and it was
trying for me but all the pain washed away the minute I saw my first
son, followed by his twin two minutes later. The same applies to my
first book. Writing a book is like being pregnant in a way, even
though the gestation period can be far longer than nine months. I’d
been so much to get to that point in my life and once I saw my book
I felt a sense of triumph.
www.LargeInCharge.com:
How many books have you published so far, what are you working on
for the near future?
As of now I’ve written
six books. You’re Getting Married?, MS Doesn’t Stand for Multiple
Sclerosis (Writers Club Press), Down That Aisle In Style A Wedding
Guide For Full Figured Women (WindRiver Publishing), Not His Type
(Indigo), Bliss Inc (Indigo Spectrum June 08) and The More Things
Change the sequel to Not His Type, it’s scheduled for a fall release
this year.
www.LargeInCharge.com:
Are people of size included in your writing?
Yes. As a matter of
fact I use people of size as main characters that have love lives.
Through my books I’m trying to let them know they’re sexy and should
go out there and pursue love wholeheartedly, since their happily
ever after may be right around the corner.
www.LargeInCharge.com:
How do people of size feel about your books, do you get more
positive or negative feedback?
The response I’ve
gotten has been positive. So many women have told me how they see a
lot of themselves in the characters and that’s what really matters
to me.
www.LargeInCharge.com:
Please Tell us about the many appearances, tours, book signings you
have done?
I’ve done a few book
signings for Down That Aisle In Style A Wedding Guide For Full
Figured Women with Barnes and Noble on Long Island (Huntington
Station) But I’ve done more signings with both my bridal book and
Not His Type (Indigo Books), which was my first real romance novel,
at Borders Bookstores in Westbury.
www.LargeInCharge.com:
What have been some of the obstacles you have overcome as far as
your career goes?
The biggest obstacle I
first faced was getting my wedding book published. Many publishers
felt there was a market but there was a taboo when it came to the
words big, full figured or plus size. Even though more than 62% of
women in the US are full figured somehow I found myself having to
convince publishers there was a market for my book. Thankfully I
found Wind River Publishing.
www.LargeInCharge.com:
Are you currently on tour?
In June I will be
traveling to Detroit Michigan to do a book signing at Borders with
Fully Figured Out, a group that’s about promoting positive and
healthy body image amongst full figured women and teens. I may be on
tour this summer with the romance novels.
www.LargeInCharge.com:
Who are some of Authors that you admire?
I really enjoy Eric
Jerome Dickey, James McBride and Donna Hill along with some of the
new authors like Anita Ballard Jones and JJ Michael. I love
cookbooks and I try to pick up Pattie Labelle’s books whenever she
has a new one.
www.LargeInCharge.com:
What would you say to other aspiring authors?
Most of all I want them
not to give up on their dream. Publishing is a very difficult
industry and it can be disheartening. However if you believe in your
talent and have faith in yourself you can find the success your
heart desires.
www.LargeInCharge.com:
What should they do to get there work out there?
If it’s possible they
should send their work to a literary agent and have them review it.
I will caution that we are a very busy bunch, but if you send a
query and we like what we see, we’ll ask to see more. Ultimately if
you’re signed by an agent they will do the work of getting your
manuscript in front of publisher and will negotiate to get you the
best contract. However, if you want to try to do it yourself be sure
to check every publisher’s requirement to see if they accept
unagented submissions and take a chance.
www.LargeInCharge.com:
Do you have other authors that you collaborate with?
I would love to do
that. I have a terrific friend Lisa K. and she’s got some terrific
ideas for another wedding book. I hope we get to work together.
www.LargeInCharge.com
Tell us a few of the tricks you have learned?
If you have a subject
or genre you write about, stay connected. Set your Google Alert to
let you know about everything happening in that world. You never
know who you might meet.
www.LargeInCharge.com:
Do you have a good support system from family and friends?
I have the best family
and fantastic friend and brother type Joel. My father Leonard Canton
has always been my biggest supporter. Even when I didn’t like what I
saw in the mirror, he always saw my potential. My younger sister
Natalie is my best friend and has been a terrific second mother to
my twins Sean and Scott. My mother is a character and while she’s a
tough cookie she’s always shown me unconditional love. Then there’s
the love of my life Michael B, he’s a wonderful man who’s shown me
what real love from a secure man is all about.
www.LargeInCharge.com:
What do you contribute your success to?
I think I am a focused
person although sometimes I can be a bit too focused. Nevertheless I
try to stay positive no matter what life throws at me. I’m a cancer
survivor of 13 years and I’ve been living with multiple sclerosis
for 12 years so while I have my bad days, I’ve learned to embrace
life and the body I’m in.
www.LargeInCharge.com:
Where will you be appearing next?
I was on Eyewitness
News Sunday Morning on June 22nd for a full figured bride
wedding segment.
www.LargeInCharge.com:
What are your future goals?
At the moment I plan to
continue to promote my client’s work and try to get as many new
writers published as possible. I want to get as many voices on the
shelves and into the hands of eager readers.
www.LargeInCharge.com:
Is writing your primary source of work?
I would love if it was
but I’m a full time literary agent working my butt off. I
occasionally do some freelance writing for wedding magazines like
Wedding Dresses.
www.LargeInCharge.com:
What other things do you do and do you tie them in with your writing
career?
I try to stay connected
to the plus size community through Venus Divas, Elegant Plus and
organizations like Curvesity. It’s important to stay connected to
see what everyone’s doing and if there is anything I can do to lend
my voice.
www.LargeInCharge.com:
Give us one word that you can say best represents your work?
Quality
www.LargeInCharge.com:
How much have you evolved as an author since those early days as a
youth?
I have to say that I’ve
learned to embrace myself. When I was younger it was all about
fitting in and trying to mold what I wrote to others. Now I write
from my perspective as a confident full figured woman. It’s one of
the reasons I write romance novels for BBW’s, I think it’s our time
to be in the limelight with love lives.
www.LargeInCharge.com: How can the readers at www.largeincharge.com
help support you?
I will be
updating my website with some new things I have in the works for
2008. They can check out my website at
www.chamein.com and they can look for my
books in stores and online.
My birth name is Nicole but sometimes I use NikkiChanel as my
modeling name. It’s a combination of my name and my daughter’s (Chanel)
name.
LargeInCharge.com: Where are you from and what is your current
Location?
I am from Newark, New Jersey currently residing in Florida. I
moved here 6 ½ yrs ago when my daughter was 4 months old. I
wanted to give her a better life.
LargeInCharge.com: Can you give us some information about
yourself (Age, Height, Size, Nationality, Marital Status,
Children, etc.)?
I am 37 yrs old and I am African-American. My height is 5’8” and
I weight 260 lbs. I have 1 beautiful 7 yr old daughter and
depending on when this issue is released I will be a married
woman. I’m getting married on April 20, 2008 to the most
wonderful and supportive man in the world. I love being in front
of a camera and I would love to act.
LargeInCharge.com: Were you a big child, or did you gain weight
later in life?
I have always been a “big-boned” girl. I honestly have to say
that I was a more solid big-boned woman back in the day but now
I can use some toning
J
All of my aunts are heavy women so I know that it runs in the
family. I definitely have to be careful though because you can
become big in an unhealthy way.
LargeInCharge.com: (If you were a big child) how did you feel
growing up as a large child?
I felt kind of awkward. I was ALWAYS the biggest person in my
class all through elementary school. They gave me names like
“moose” and whenever something needed to be moved or opened they
would call on me. I was like their mascot or something. I
actually adapted to it and started to enjoy the attention. I
guess you can say it kept me from crying.
LargeInCharge.com: (If you gained weight later in life) what
caused you to gain weight and how did you feel about it?
For me, gaining weight always came with trying to be social and
making friends. No matter what the occasion was we ate
afterwards. I wanted to be a part of the group. All my friends
to this day LOVE to go out and eat. I never felt bad about it
because I was like, “Hey, when in Rome do like the Romans do”.
That’s not the right attitude to have sometimes.
LargeInCharge.com: What made you decide to enter the
LargeInCharge model search?
A lot of magazines/webzines have age and weight restrictions and
LargeInCharge is one of those magazines who recognize that there
are some special people out there who are over 35 yrs old and
weigh more than 300 lbs. I love the diversity of LargeInCharge
and I just had to enter.
LargeInCharge.com: Did you find it a hard journey to be accepted
for your size?
It wasn’t too hard because I’m a “personality” type of girl.
What I lacked in body image I made up with my sense of humor &
friendly, approachable attitude. It worked for me.
LargeInCharge.com: Do you find acceptance among your family and
friends?
Oh definitely! They have always been so supportive. Whenever I
started trying to throw a pity-party for myself they wouldn’t
even entertain me. They would remind me of how beautiful I was
and tell me that they loved me no matter how big I was or how
big I get. Having people like that in your life is enough to
make you want to take care of yourself; not kill yourself to
lose the weight.
LargeInCharge.com: What would you say inspires you most in life?
My family and wanting to be successful for my daughter are what
inspires me. I would love to see the looks on their faces if
they saw me on TV or in a magazine. That would be priceless! I
want them to be proud of me. My daughter is the main reason why
I do this because she is growing up and I don’t want her to get
the impression that everyone looks the same. I don’t want
society to convince her that anyone who looks like mommy is not
normal. She is at an impressionable age and the earlier you show
& teach children the right things the better off they’ll be.
LargeInCharge.com: What is your primary job?
I am an Operator at a hospital in Florida.
LargeInCharge.com: How did you get into this line of work?
I always seem to last longer in Customer Service oriented jobs
where I’m talking on the phone plus I love computers. I majored
in Communications in college and I’ve been doing it every since.
LargeInCharge.com: Do you find acceptance in the work force?
I guess it would depend on the job. I definitely think some
establishments are prejudice against big people. They feel like
you won’t be able to do the job as good as a thin person would
or they want to protect the image of their establishment. I
happen to think diversity is attractive. I don’t want to see the
same type of people when I walk in a business. Granted, some
jobs require you to be in shape to do them and I’m sure a person
who is overweight would not apply for that job, but anybody can
stand at a register and push buttons. I don’t have to be thin to
do that.
LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you believe should take place
for Large People in the work force?
Can we PLEASE get some wider chairs?! Everybody’s butt is not
the same size so why are the chairs?! Bathroom stalls (besides
Handicapped) are ridiculously small. Anything that has to do
with losing weight as far as health insurance is concerned, is
considered “cosmetic” and not covered. That needs to change.
LargeInCharge.com: What do you think about the fashion industry
for big sized clothing?
I am so proud of the fashion industry for Plus Size clothing
right now! Back in the day when I was a teenager the clothes
were just hideous! Nothing but big flowers everywhere (I had
like 4 pairs of flower jeans) and everything looked dreary and
potato-sacky! All the “good” plus size clothes went as far as a
size 12, maybe a 14, and you had to go all the way to the mall
to get them. Let’s not even talk about the prices. They were
always so much higher because the size was bigger. All that
money for ugly clothes!
LargeInCharge.com: What do you wish to see change with the
fashion industry?
If you are advertising an outfit to fit a person who is a size
22, it would be nice to actually see a size 22 model in it! I
can’t stand to see that!! I know the dress comes in a 22 but a
size 12 model is modeling it. That doesn’t give me a vision of
how I would look in it. Also, a lot of people are coming out
with their own clothing line and the 1st thing they
say is that their clothes are priced to keep the average cost
conscious buyer in mind or the people who are on a budget and
can’t afford the more pricey clothes. Uh, excuse me but $135
dollars for a pair of jeans is not my idea of inexpensive. I
think some of the clothing is getting to be too high.
LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you think will happen if plus
sized modeling for men and women were to expand?
I think you
would see a rise in Plus Size consumers. If we look good in it
or see someone LIKE US look good in it, we’ll buy it! I also
think it would open up more modeling opportunities for men &
women. Lately, I have been seeing the same faces being used over
& over again like the industry is afraid of change. Change is
good. On shows like “America’s Next Top Model” they always have
that 1, maybe 2, plus size girls. Wouldn’t it be a great change
if the majority was plus-sized and maybe 1 or 2 straight models?
I see something like that happening if plus size modeling
expands more.
LargeInCharge.com: Tell us some of the places you buy your
clothing from.
Believe it or not I love Wal-Mart!
J
They have some great bargains and the clothes aren’t half bad
either. When I want to splurge I may go to Lane Bryant or Ashley
Stewart but I’m a bargain, clearance type of gal so stores like
Bealls Outlet are heaven to me.
LargeInCharge.com: Tell us one of your secret beauty tips.
I don’t really have any tips. I actually need someone to give me
some! Oh wait, here’s one: Crest Whitestrips are my best
friends. They really work!
LargeInCharge.com: Give us some tips on how to have a
successful Photo shoot. What should models be prepared for?
The best advice I can give is to just relax and be yourself.
Don’t try too hard because it shows in the pictures. Act like
the photographer is your significant other or family member and
I promise you those will be your best photos ever. To make a
picture come off naturally YOU have to be natural. Be prepared
to take a lot of direction and definitely be prepared for a fast
paced environment.
LargeInCharge.com: Look at Size acceptance five years ago...
look at size acceptance now. What changes do you see?
I see more Plus Size people in ads, on television, movies and in
the workforce. We are being taken more seriously. They know that
we exist now and some even try to accommodate us more. The movie
theater seats are a little bigger and even amusement park rides
are a little more accommodating. Also more products are being
made with the larger consumer in mind. It’s getting better.
LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you think will happen five
years from now with size acceptance?
Health
insurance will be better for a person of size. More plus size
television personalities will be on TV & in movies. There will
finally be a major Plus Size “print” magazine on the stands that
doesn’t fade away. It will be just as good & successful as
Marie Claire or Vogue, etc.
LargeInCharge.com: Tell us about your goals as far as modeling
and other interests.
I want to make a difference. I want my name to be remembered. I
know that there is someone out there that looks like me and feel
defeated like I do sometimes. I want to be the difference
between that woman who lives out her life popping diet pills,
and that woman who has learned to love the person that looks
back at her in the mirror. I think I would make a great model
because I would be representing women like myself giving them
the confidence to say, “Hey, she is me! I can do that too”! That
is my ultimate goal. My interest is acting. To be on a sitcom
like “Girlfriends” would be a dream come true.
LargeInCharge.com: Can you tell us about an inspirational moment
in you life that made you feel good about your size.
I think it would be when I won my first Cover. That’s when I
really knew that I was someone special for being who I was and
not what others didn’t understand or think was beautiful. It was
very inspirational and made me want to work harder and gave me
that extra confidence I needed to want to do more.
LargeInCharge.com: Is there a person in your life that makes you
keep going?
If not for God giving me the strength to go on and fight for my
dreams I would have given up a long time ago. This is a harsh
business and there are some not-so-nice people in the industry
who don’t wish you the best. Also, again I have a daughter that
I want to be proud of me. She will grow up to be a woman herself
one day and the more good examples & positive influences she
has, the more open-minded she’ll be. She makes life worth living
and the reason why I must fulfill my dreams.
LargeInCharge.com: What advice would you give to other people of
size who want to model?
You are going to hear, “You can’t do that” a million times.
Don’t listen to it. If your heart is into ANYTHING and you’re
passionate about it, you can do it. Don’t go out and spend your
life savings on pictures. Have some family or friends take some
nice simple pictures of you and shop them around. Enter some
contests to get your face out there. Don’t be discouraged and be
prepared to hear criticism. Everyone can’t be a model so
remember to be realistic. The more honest you are with yourself
the better decisions you’ll make. Don’t ever give up on YOU!
LargeInCharge.com: What plus size figure do you admire?
Mo’Nique without a doubt! She has opened up so many doors for
Plus Size women and she understands our struggles. She has
taught me how to not look at the glass as being half empty but
to look at it as being half full. She has taught all of us how
to love ourselves no matter how we look. She is a very beautiful
& confident woman and just watching her makes me feel confident.
I can’t leave out Queen Latifah. Not only because she’s from my
hometown but because she is an example of how a “Queen” carries
herself. She doesn’t compromise herself for anything and I love
her strength & character. These 2 ladies are a great
representation of all women.
LargeInCharge.com: Describe yourself with one word.
Raqui the Owner and Founder of LargeInCharge Magazine. This
spot is dedicated to her thoughts, vents, and observations of Plus
Sized Life. Raqui's "Tell it like it is" style of
writing has brought hundreds to her blogs and thousands to
LargeInCharge.com. There is so much behind the woman who has
brought this magazine into existence. Being Internationally
known as a wrestler/squasher lead the way to modeling for companies and being
featured in magazines and documentaries from all over the world.
She has made a career out of her size and personality. Born, Raised
and Residing in the Bronx NYC. This city girl is taking the world by
storm.
For the past 4 years Raqui officially moved into Size Acceptance and Empowerment.
With the creation of LargeInCharge she took what she said to
individuals to a higher level and made it public to the internet
world. She is a woman who doesn't let things get to her. Knock her
down for the moment but she will rise up stronger and better.
Being a speaker on behalf of many subjects and counseling Plus Sized
people online her grace and style has made people love her. Raqui continues to set an example of a powerful woman who will bend
the world to fit her, her way.
Raqui's appearances include, Uk Televesion, German TV, Japan, Europe
and the Spanish circuit. Her many magazines appearances have
been world wide. She has hit American Televsion in 2006 with
Good Morning American and since has appeared on The Christina Show,
The Maury Show and The Tyra Banks Show.
Raqui Appears on The Christina Show
Raqui Appears on The Maury Show
Advertising is it Funny or
FUNKY?
Written By: Raqui
Watch these two
commercials
I remember when I
first saw these Subway's Commercials. The first one I almost
laughed, until I realized that they were saying certain body parts like Double Chin, Love Handles,
Blubber, Thunder Thighs and Ba Donk a Donk Butt were dissatisfying.
That these so called bad body traits were accomplished by eating so
called greasy fatty food. I know for a fact greasy fatty food
did not give me any of those things because I rarely
eat greasy fatty food. I also know many people who eat greasy
fatty food daily much more than I ever could yet they are very slim.
The second commercial got me quite mad. Subway basically says if
you eat a cheese burger meal you will suffer the horror of... a
bloated feeling, regret, remorse, bigger waist, loss of self esteem,
loss of boyfriend, shame, years of therapy, fries and a shake.
When the woman who asked for the Cheese burger combo says Can I get
that with out the Loss of Self Esteem a worker from the back screams NO CUSTOM ORDERS!!! So in other words if you eat a Cheeseburger Combo you will suffer
all of those things with out choice or chance or any reference to
body type except to say BIG IS BAD.
Do you see the slick
advertising talk? Bigger waist followed by loss of self esteem, loss of
boyfriend, shame, years of therapy? Do you notice what was
just said. FAT = LOSING EVERYTHING. Losing everything
many would find dear to their lives. Now in the commercial the
woman just wants to keep her Self Esteem but the man from the back
screams NO CUSTOM ORDERS!
Does this mean that if you get a bigger waist you might as well
forget it your life is ruined and you cant keep your self esteem.
This is the type of brain washing that advertisers use to make us
buy there diets, go to their gyms and use there products is a daily
occurrence and fully accepted by our society. The prejudice
against people of size is as common place as breathing and
advertisers like Subway's just makes it seem like a fun little
commercial.
As a confident woman I can let this roll off my back. But I
think of the millions of Americans Plus Sized and not who see this
commercial and maybe laugh or maybe just watch and don't realize the
mental brain washing that is going on. As long as advertisers can
continue to make us feel like we are not good enough they can
control us. By controlling us they can pull our emotional strings
and while we are depressed, ashamed, and hurt they are taking our
hard earned dollars.
Let me say I will not eat from Subway anymore and I do not
support them in anyway. The commercial could have been turned
in so many different ways to not make it seem as though being plus
sized equals all these terrible side effects. As though we
have a disease, a terrible life destroying disease that will wreak
every aspect of your existence. No comical point is worth
that.
Greasy fatty food is not good for people
we all know that, but I have to say that includes the
slim and the large. Do not try to make People of Size the
big Negative to scare everyone into buying your BULLSHIT sandwich
which really is not that great. Must Subway make
it seem as though you are guaranteed to get fat if you eat a
cheeseburger, and then make sure you know if you do get fat it will
ruin your life. What about the many happy fat fulfilled people
in this world. I know more happy fat people than happy slim
people.
If they are
not concerned about health they are only interested in the mighty
dollar in the big SUBWAY bank account. SO STOP FAKING
SUBWAY!!!! Just to let you all know after some more
checking on the web a fellow Dimensions Magazine Poster named
"Moore2Me" found that Subway's is owned by Doctor's Associates Inc.
in Milford CT. So here we have a bunch of doctor's that
know a plus sized person who doesn't diet but eats balanced
meals, and exercises is much more healthier than a slim person who
often diets. Yet they are trying to use insecurities against
America for the BIG OLE AMERICAN BUCK!!! Subway and there
precious Doctor's are just feeding into the stereotype that
says FAT IS
HORRIBLE YOU DON'T WANT THAT! Why do they do that?
Because it sells the crummy sandwiches.
Do you think you will ever see a commercial on television for a
tanning bed that says If you use this tanning bed you will receive,
possible skin burns, Redding of skin, darkening of skin, possible
victim of a drive by, compulsion to eat watermelon, raising
of voice and impulse to wear bangle earrings?
No of course not because you would be implying that those with dark
skin are possible victims of drive by shootings etc. That
would be prejudice, sure it might be funny to some, but it
would be politically incorrect and morally wrong. Yet they can
speak about US FAT PEOPLE any way they want to.
If you don't like these
video's say something make them think twice before they show
prejudice so openly about those of us who choose to Love our bodies
as they are!
Super Sized Sounds will be a Music Column that will feature those
who are in the industry or up and coming who are size positive.
Giving recognition to the plus
sized people who are out there and showcasing themselves.
Reviews, Interview, News and more from our new writer Super Sized Spanishfly Lynx.
Lynx
Garcia, also known as "SUPERSIZE SPANISHFLY", is a Latina BBW from
Queens NYC. Lynx is an activist speaking out against size
discrimination and began performing back in 1996 at social events
for big beautiful women and big handsome males and their admirers.
Her special mixture of sound held true as she sang, spat, danced and
performed spoken word, soon she was in demand by
Big and Beautiful parties nationwide. Lynx taking her "look"
and sound mainstream was rejected because of her size. She
did not let this break her spirit, hurt her confidence or minimize
her drive. Instead she rose up and started a public access show
(LYNX' LAIR) aired in Queens on TIME WARNER QPTV . Combination of
comedy and sexy style, she showcased underground artists of all
walks of life. The response to her show was PHENOMENAL....in less
than a year she has showcased many artist, some who moved to bigger
and better things.
Currently Lynx has caught the attention of Joey Mekkah of BLACK
SOLARIS ENTERTAINMENT and found herself on the Grandmaster MELLE
MEL's SOLO ALBUM "MUSCLES" featured on the hot latin hip-hop track
called 'DIMELO", she is the only collaboration on the album. Lynx
recently has started her own radio show on EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO.COM
called Ladies Night. EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO is #1 on the
itunes network.
WANT TO SUBMIT YOUR VOICE FOR REVIEW? See Below
Ok my people, mi gente… Raqui has received a
submission from an artist named L*A*W, and there has been a whole lot of
drama. Law has a song called “Thick Girly Girls” which he submitted for review on Large in Charge
this is part of Queen Raqui’s response
“I find it very offensive that you would want to
submit this song to a size acceptance and empowerment magazine that
celebrates women of all sizes especially the women that are spoken of in
a derogatory way in this track. I am quite surprised that someone who
is a professional didn’t bother to find out what LargeInCharge Online
Magazine is about before submitting a track that basically celebrates
(as you put it) the average sized woman not the Bigger Ones that we
celebrate in LargeInCharge Magazine. The ones you say are so fat they
are stuck in one position.”
And this is part of L*A*W’s response
“The line about the shoulder blade/one position
was STRICTLY for humor and I wasn't trying to offend anybody and if I
did for any reason, I sincerely & humbly apologize. In those lines, I
opted for the humor option in light of the controversial topic itself.
If you listen to the song, I also poke fun at Jennifer Lopez before she
went hollywood and lost her ass that she had as a flygirl on "In Living
Color" (lol) and talk about the different flavors of thick women. The
whole point of the song is that thick women of all sizes big or smaller
are frowned upon in the industry so when I see publications like yours,
Mo'nique, Raven-Symone and my good friend Sharon Quinn, it makes me
feel good to know that progress is being made to change this bullshit
perception of women of plus size.”
Is this offensive or is it just music?
I urge the readers to take a listen to the song and
send your thoughts to
supersizespanishfly@gmail.com one of our readers who
participate in this will be chosen to win a free cd and your response
will be posted in our next feature of “Supersized Sounds”
L*A*W “Thick Girly Girls”
Look out next month for the status and of course my
review of L*A*W’s music.
Oh the drama!
Want to send in your
Voice in for review? Are you a singer, rapper, or poet who performs
spoken word? Up and Coming, already established? Contact
Lynx through her Myspace page or email
articles@largeincharge.com and all information will be forwarded to
her (PUT "FOR LYNX" IN THE SUBJECT AREA)
You must be a Size
Positive Artist, or a Plus Sized Supporter.
From the Plus side will be column dedicated to short stories that
deal with all aspects of Plus size Life. Emily Smiltneck was
chosen for this position because of her dedication, and realistic
writing style. She captures the emotional and mental rollercoaster
those who are Plus Sized go through.
Emily Susanne Smiltneck lives in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan
(pretty much dead center in the middle of nowhere). She is a
substitute teacher, and has recently started a tutoring business.
Emily is currently working on several writing projects,
including a historical fiction novel and several collections of
poetry.
Emily Smiltneck
receives recognition in Neighbors Daily Press - See article below
It is a great joy when our fellow Plus Sized people receive
recognition for their life's work. Join me in this Joyous
moment when one of our LargeInCharge writers is seen for her
contribution and great dedication to her goals in life. Click
the images above to read the article about our dear Emily. When the
page open click on the article to zoom in and read it.
"Invisible" The
Holy Chronicles - Part 3
by Emily Suzanne
Smiltneck
And Holly finds her voice.
“Let’s go,” she says. “I’m getting cold. I need to
get home to my kids. I think we should get off the beach in case
the cops show up. Can we come to your house for a while, Mark?”
Mark sits up and looks in the direction of the water,
apparently pondering the question. I am once again invisible. Then
he clears his throat and looks back toward
Holly. He tells her that he lives with his brother, rents out a
room in the basement. He’s not supposed to have friends over, he
says, not at night like this. I suspect that what he really means
is that he lives with his wife and he’s not allowed to have female
friends over, any time, but I say nothing. It would do no good
because they will not hear me anyway.
“Well, that’s okay,” Holly tells him. “We’ll just go
in your room so we can talk. We’ll be quiet.”
There is some debate. Holly wants us to go home with
Mark. Mark does not want us to go home with Mark. Finally, after
what seems like decades, Mark says we can come with him, but we’ll
have to hurry right into the basement and be very quiet, and we all
have to stay in his bedroom because his brother wouldn’t like any of
us hanging out anywhere else. And so we go back to where the cars
are parked. In the sand that sinks with every step, I am the only
one who can walk with any real success. It takes fifteen minutes to
get the twenty-five feet to the parking lot. Mark struggles with
his keys and gets into his car. When I see that Holly cannot get
her key into the lock on the door, I walk around to the driver’s
side. I reach out silently and take the keys. Invisible or not, I
cannot let her drive now. Not with me in the car. I poke her
between the shoulder blades and guide her away from the door. Like
a child, or a puppet, she goes to the passenger’s side and waits for
me to let her in.
I follow Mark to his house. I recognize the
neighborhood, but I don’t know my way through it very well. I watch
for landmarks so I can find my way back out. At least he is driving
very slowly. If he were going any faster, I would fear for his
safety, but at his current speed, the worst that can happen is that
he might dent his car a little. Even if he hit a person, they would
have plenty of time to just sit down on the hood of the car. He
parks four feet out into the street and I park behind him, but up
against the curb. He gets out and tries for a minute to lock his
door, then gives up and just slams it shut. We get out of Holly’s
car and follow him to the door of the house. He holds his index
finger up to his lips to remind us to be quiet, then unlocks a door
to a staircase that leads directly down to the basement.
Inside, he ushers us into a room to our left. He
tells us to wait and then disappears. The room could be his; there
is a neatly-made bed, a dresser that’s covered with framed
photographs of all sizes, and a bedside table. It could also easily
be a guest room. Holly immediately sits on the bed.
“We won’t stay long,” she tells me. “I just wanna
work out the inprop—improf—improv thing. For Tom. I’m not gonna
sleep with him. I promise. ‘Cause I stopped doing that. Tom and I
are in a commuted—commit—a good rela—ship. I stopped sleeping
around when I stopped jrinking.”
I don’t point out that she is awfully drunk for
someone who has stopped “jrinking,” or that she practically slept
with the guy already, back on the beach. Instead, I just say,
“Okay,” like I always do. I stand against the wall, because I don’t
want to sit on the bed next to her. I assume Mark will want to do
that, and there is nothing else in the room to sit on.
Mark finally returns. He closes the door behind him,
and locks it. He does, indeed, sit next to Holly on the bed. He
lifts one foot at a time and removes his shoes and socks. Holly
does, too. I want to remind them that I exist, that I am, in fact,
in the very same room they’re in, that they shouldn’t get naked, but
I remember just in time that I am invisible.
They talk about the improv troupe performing at
Upfront & Company for roughly four seconds. Then Holly says that
she is a little tense and Mark, right on cue, begins to rub her
back. Holly, because she is so incredibly sore, lies face down on
the bed. Mark turns so that he can reach her better. Soon he is
kneeling over the backs of her legs and massaging her
energetically. I look away. There isn’t much to look at, but I
study the walls very closely. I study the carpet. I study the
ceiling. I study my own fingernails. My toenails. When I look up
again, Mark is stretched out on top of Holly. They are kissing.
Noisily. I am beginning to become uncomfortable. What they are
doing isn’t something I get to do very often. Okay, it isn’t
something I have ever gotten to do. Never. And the sort of people
who do get to do those things are not people who hang out with me,
generally. So I have never been in a situation remotely like this
one. And I don’t know where to look or what to do. Because I have
no better ideas, or none that I have the guts to carry out, anyway,
I just sit and look at everything except for Holly and Mark. It is
nice to be invisible for the moment; it makes it easier to pretend I
am not here.
When they have been kissing and petting and stroking
for a half hour, forty-five minutes, an hour, maybe, I realize that
I am bored to tears. Bored, and depressed, because I am forced to
be so aware of what I cannot have, even though this isn’t the way I
would want it anyway. Drunken gropings are not my thing.
Finally, I can sit no longer. I don’t even try to be
quiet when I stand up because I am so sure that I am invisible. And
they don‘t notice me, or don’t seem to, anyway. I cannot leave the
room, although I would give anything to be able to, because Mark was
so very emphatic about us not leaving the room. The only
place to stand where I am not watching the show or staring at the
wall is in front of the dresser covered in photos. I spend more
time looking at each photo than I would, at any other time in any
other place, spend looking at all of them put together. It must be
four in the morning by now. My craving for a late night out has
been more than fulfilled and I am sleepy. Holly and Mark still
appear to be quite energetic, though. From the corner of my eye, I
can see that Holly’s shirt has come off now, and Mark’s pants may
very well be unbuttoned. I want to go home and I want to go home
now! But I can’t, because I am here, with Holly, in Holly’s car.
I am getting desperate. I do not want to stay here
and watch them, listen to them, anymore. It is likely that they
will soon be completely undressed and fully engaged in some sort of
sex. I don’t want to see it, I don’t want to see it, I don’t want
to see it! So I do the only thing I can think of to interrupt.
“Hey, are these pictures of your kids?” I ask. I get
no reaction, but I am tired of being invisible. I want them to know
I am here, and to be as uncomfortable as I am, as uncomfortable as
it feels to me like they should be. I speak louder. “Are these
your kids, Mark?”
“Yeah,” Mark says, breathlessly. He sounds a little
mad. And I like that he sounds mad, and so I ask him more
questions.
“How old is the little girl? And the little boy?
Where do they live? Do you see them often? Cute kids, you got
there.” And he answers all my questions, in short, gasping,
answers, probably because he is afraid if he ignores me, I will go
out of this room and cause some sort of problems, either with the
brother’s family that he has claimed to live with or with the wife
who is sleeping upstairs, who he doesn’t want us to know about.
Without looking at her, I can almost see Holly shooting dirty looks
my way. She has only one thing on her drug and alcohol-blurred
mind, and I am interrupting her from her mission.
I stop talking and Mark returns his attention to
Holly. I hear a long, low moan escape from her throat. Enough is
enough.
` “Holly, I really need to get going. It’s after four,
almost five, and I have to get up at eleven. We have an hour ride
home.”
My words cause a whispered pow-wow between the
would-be lovers and then they sit up. Holly is wearing only her
jean shorts and bra, both of which are crooked. Mark is still
wearing his jeans, but they are unbuttoned, unzipped, sliding down
around his hips. Neither of them thinks to cover their bodies.
They are beyond embarrassment and so am I, at this point.
“I am going home now. Right now. Hand over your
keys, and if you’re coming with me, get dressed,” I say, before
either of them can speak. It is, for some reason, very important to
me at this moment to be in charge, not to let either of them make
any decisions for me. I have had too little say in anything that
has happened on this night.
Holly gropes around on the floor for her purse. She
reaches inside and finds her keys, hands them to me.
“Mark will drive me home tomorrow,” she says. And
then she leans over so that her mouth is close to my ear. I become
drunk from her breath. That is how it feels, anyway. Drunk and
sick to my stomach. “Don’t tell Tom,” she whispers.
I do not answer her. I do not promise that I won’t
tell. I do not reassure her. I do not say goodbye. I merely walk
away. I go outside. I get into her car. I begin to drive, an hour
through the darkness of almost sunrise, with heavy eyelids that
barely stay open. I park her car on the street in front of her
house. I hope that Tom doesn’t hear the car, wake up, come talk to
me, ask where Holly is. I did not promise Holly anything, and my
loyalty is with Tom, but I am not up to the task of hurting him
tonight.
I walk the two miles back to the coffee shop, where
my car is parked, slowly, tiredly. I watch the sunrise as I drive
the fifteen minutes home along the bay. It is after seven a.m. when
I sink into my bed and fall asleep almost immediately.
I get up at eleven because I have a meeting to go
to. My eyes are red, my skin is blotchy, and I can barely stay
awake. I am back home by one and ready to sleep again, but just as
I drift off, the phone rings. It is Holly. She is home now, and
Tom has gone out because he is not exactly angry with her but isn’t
happy either. She has a horrible migraine, and she would like me to
come and take her to the hospital to get some morphine or something
to make it stop. The main problem, I am sure, is that she is
feeling the effects of an alcohol and Vicodin induced hangover, but
I am too nice to say so. Even after last night, even after she made
me sit alone in the bar for hours and then sit in Mark’s bedroom for
more hours, wishing I was back in the bar where at least I could
pretend, I say yes. That’s just the way I am.
I drive to her house. She is standing on the
sidewalk when I get there, so we can get to the hospital faster. I
sit in the emergency waiting room until she’s ready to leave. I
wonder why they still believe her, still give her morphine two or
three times a week. It is intensely obvious to me that she is
addicted, but then, the doctors and nurses don’t go out with her at
night. When I bring her home, Tom is there. Or rather, has been
there and is just on his way to the coffee shop now, and he invites
us to meet him there. We do.
“You liked this Mark guy, hey?” he asks me after we
have ordered drinks and settled at a table. I do not answer him
right away. I am confused. He knows about Mark? What does he
know? I’m not sure what the safest thing to say is. But Holly
saves me.
“She really liked him. He was a great-looking guy,
right?”
“Um, yeah. Sure,” I tell Tom, but I am looking at
Holly, with questions in my eyes.
“Don’t be embarrassed,” Tom says. He is teasing me,
I think. Teasing me about the juvenile crush he apparently has been
told I have on the man his girlfriend screwed last night. When he
continues, I turn to look at him. “Holly told me how she got us
hooked up for a show, and how you liked this guy so much that she
decided to try and get the two of you together. It’s just too bad
you got tired and had to leave before anything happened, while they
were still trying to work out the details. Lucky she got a ride
home this morning.”
I cannot believe that he believes this story. I want
to ask Holly how anything that happened last night could be
considered hooking me up with Mark. I want to ask her if she
thinks she was test driving him for me. I want to ask Tom how
stupid he really is. I want to tell him that just because he’s
overweight and doesn’t think himself very attractive, it doesn’t
mean he has to settle for someone like Holly. I want to tell him he
is an attractive man, and funny and kind and sweet and that any
woman would be lucky to be with him, and that he doesn’t need to be
with a woman who sleeps around and makes him feel worse, not
better. I want to tell him he doesn’t have to pretend that she
isn’t cheating, that he doesn’t have to pretend that she really
cares. I want to convince him that he can find someone better.
I want to tell him that if he wants to be with a
woman who will treat him well, he does not have to look any farther
than me, but I don’t.
I decide to take some
time off tonight and vegetate. My mother keeps telling me to
lighten up things will work out. It’s odd how the death of a family
member can get things into focus and out of whack at the same time.
While it’s hard to describe, I’m sure you can all relate to it in
your own way.
Tonight, I went to see
“Iron Man”. It was ok… good graphics. None the less, there was a
moment of inspiration (of course designed to be) when the character
of Tony Stark says“I finally know what I have to do….”
Inspiration sets in
like.. Yeah, I have to find out “finally” what I have to do, which
is brought on by traumatic or wonderful experiences. Ok… let’s
think for a minute here. Nope, no idea. Maybe it was that thing
that happened….. that would show me what I’m supposed to ….Nope,
probably not….
You get the idea. We
see the character go through harsh times only to come out on top
with a new found vision of their destiny. It’s a pretty common
theme that goes through the existence of man, books, movies,
lives…etc etc etc. My question (and maybe yours) is why it hasn’t
happened to me. Not the traumatic or dramatic experience, I mean
the why am I not sure of my “finally” moment. Perhaps even more
scary is the idea that the experience has already happened that’s
supposed to set my life on course and I missed the whole point. I
assume for some that it’s like that when they get to end of their
lives, look back and ask “What was the point?”
I find thinking about
it is the idea that idea terrifies me. It terrifies me that I’m
supposed to know something now, or should have known it ten years
ago, and I haven’t figured it out yet. It seems as I look at it
now, I spend more time planning to do something then doing it.
Somebody else’s priorities always take priority over what I want.
Is it because I’m being noble and helping others before worrying
about myself and my needs? I think Tony Stark said it best when he
said “I’m clearly not the hero type.”
If I can say one thing
about these points in your life when tragedy occurs, it strips you
bare. It takes you right down to the bone. All the junk, walls,
and image, projected or real is left far behind. At time like these
you have no defenses to worry about putting up. Call it moment(s)
of weakness or maybe it’s the “why bother” syndrome.
To answer my previous
question of myself as if I am being noble. It is more likely that
I think everyone else dreams have priority is because I’m too much
of a coward to have faith in my own dreams. I’m too scared to fail
trying out the things I want to even define such things, so like a
lamb to slaughter I latch on to others dreams. I’m a perfect
candidate for the end of life “What was the point ?” That scares
me.
So by the time I
finished this article, I haven’t gotten the “I finally know what I
supposed to do”, moment, but I think I finally know why I don’t know
yet, and that I still have time to fix it. I hope.
Cher was born in Los
Angeles California in 1955. Being adopted by wonderful parents she
grew up in the city of Encino, and was always surrounded by loving
caring family and friends. Growing up with a thin mother, who was
always trying to get Cher to lose weight, diets of all types,
sending her to fat camp, bribing her, and
not ever having sweets in their home.
Growing up Cher never was lacking in friends and boyfriends who
loved her personality and her kindness.
Guys in her life always were saying your so pretty but why don't you
lose some weight. This she heard all of her life but her weight just
would go up and down.
Cher has always loved seeing others happy and helping others to find
their inner self and beauty.
Ten years ago, she found the plus size community and she knew this
is where she would focus on helping others who were like her and had
some of her experiences and pain that she went through.
Cher has been in the community working with others for size
acceptance. She was seen on "Dr.Phil, "Good Morning
America","Entertainment Tonight", "Russian, British, Japanese,and
Viet Vietnamese Television". Also a documentary filmed at the Las
Vegas Bash on the Travel channel, and Current TV, a online station,
with numerous radio interviews talking about size acceptance.
She was a promoter for the number one BBW hip hop club in
California, and seeing people come into the club and make new
friends and feel good about themselves warmed her heart.
Her love for helping others to feel better about themselves and to
help mainstream accept the plus size community is her focus and
goal. She is Vice President of "Hollywood Cure For Pain" a celebrity
movement to help those who suffer in chronic pain. She is now
showing mainstream that "Big Girls can rock the Red Carpet"! Besides
being a wife, mother and activist, playing with her Chocolate Lab
Ruby is what she loves best!
Community is a good Feeling
Article by:
Cher Rue
Gay Pride week this June was fabulous. I think we
should have a Plus size pride week. I love the feeling of the
community of the gay people, it is like family, they are all so
sweet, and make you feel special no matter what you look like or who
you are. In their eyes everyone is a star. It is so heart warming to
see all the love, now if only mainstream can get it together and see
that people are people and what's inside is what counts.
I went to the "Here Lounge" for the Gay pride week, it
was a Red Carpet event for Reality Check.It was so much fun, it is
interesting how sweet and non-judge mental the gay community is just
like the plus size community, they love everyone! It was funny how
all the guys kept hugging me and squeezing me like I was a pillow, I
must seem fluffy to them, I had a blast. I hung out with my good
friends, Bobby Trendy, Heather Chadwell, Amanda Rushing, Fawn and
Jovy Jonoly I met some great new people too like Amanda Ireton (a
shot of love) and Nikki McGibbon (American Idol) who was filming a
new reality show which I got to be a part of. Thanks Nikki!
I wanted to meet Jai Rodriguez he was so cute, you
might know him from Queer Eye for the straight guy, but Maybe next
time! The party lasted until late at night, but I went on home
around eleven. At was a great "Queer night for the straight BBW".
Celebrities
attending the event were:
TV personality Jai Rodriguez, Designer Nick Verreos, TV personality
Brian Peeler(workout),TV Actress Katerina Graham, Bobby Trendy,
Actress Lorielle New, TV personalities Actress Amanda Field ,TV
personality Michael Silas (step up and dance) Reese Allbritton (omnish
country) TV personality Eduardo Xol, Actor Alec Mapa, Actor Enrique
Sapene, Actor Peter Gurski, Dancer Kevin Stea ,Musician Fawn, Sean
Patrick Lewis, Singer Nikki McGibbon(American Idol season one),
Amanda Ireton (a shot of love with Tila Tequilla) Actress Heather
Chadwell (Rock of love one) Actress Amanda Rushing (singer actress),
Daniel DiCrisci,. TV personality Nathan Collins, TV personality
Norman Korpi, TV personality Saaphyri Windsor (Charm School), Cher
Rue plus size actress, Jonathan Chang, Jovy Jonoly, and Aman around
town.
Use the arrows and to
view pictures, click the thumb nailed picture to see it enlarged
I am a big guy with a
big heart. My favorite thing in the world to do is to make others
laugh. It gives a sense of calm and peace to both people involved
and there is nothing better than to walk up to that person later in
th day and just see the smile on their face from the memory they
have of what you did earlier.
I am a family man as
well. I live in Montreal, Quebec with my wonderful wife Naomi and
my two adorable children Connor and Brett. They are the sun around
which I revolve and without them my life would have more tragedy
than comedy in it I guarantee.
I was raised in
Southern California, Moved to New York, Moved to Kansas and then
back to New York. Follow me so far? I have a perspective on the
entire country I think, from the surfers in Los Angeles, to the
Wheat Farmers in Kansas City to the Kodak Managers in Rochester.
I am sick and tired of
mainstream media not allowing the plus-sized person, be they man or
woman, to be represented fairly in the media. You have wonderfully
bright spots in the darkness, like our own Raqui, but the rest of
the clouds have yet to be broken through and I hope I can help in
that.
I am a open man
who loves to talk. You want to ask me a question, go ahead. You
have an idea for something you want me to write? Go ahead. I don't
mind posting my email (kaotiks@gmail.com)
because I do not shy away from responding to people. Plus, I have a
really good spam filter.
Love and Respect to
all. James, by the way, they also call me Kaobear
Weakness with
James Nealon
As a man of size, it is
impossible for you to show, even for a moment, any amount of
weakness or, to put it properly, to not show supreme strength. At
least from the prospective of those who see Plus Sized men as
eternal construction workers, weightlifters, wrestlers and
bodyguards for nefarious villains.
Come now.
I am six and a half
feet tall and you know what? There is no problem sitting back and
crying if you need to. Emotions are what separate us from the
apes. It does not make you weak if you want to have a job where you
don't have to lift colossal weight or work in a warehouse
atmosphere.
It insults me that
stereotypes are so locked in that when a man my size goes to a
company to apply for a job, he is automatically shuffled off to the
warehouse, when he was indeed there for an interview in Customer
Service, management, or even Clerical. There is nothing more
humiliating than to be labeled forever a strong man with no
recourse, no options left to you but to eventually cave into the
pressures that society feels compelled to throw upon you.
I am a web designer, a
poet, a father, a painter, a photographer, a quasi-psychologist. Do
any of these sound like they involve using a weight belt and
shouting for my thirteenth cigarette break of the afternoon? No, I
didn't think they did either.
Men, when you encounter
this in the workplace, or anywhere else for that matter, and it
makes you feel uncomfortable, do not get angry, for that is
fulfilling your role as the stupid gorilla pounding his chest. No,
instead take a step back from the person and explain to them that
they honestly have done you a disservice by assuming things about
you and that it is both morally wrong and a form of discrimination
at the same time.
I have a feeling their
tune will change rather quickly.
Foolish people who feel
that men of size are only designed to be the lifters, the movers,
the pullers and the doers are a shame to the rest of the people who
see us as, can I hear a gasp please, people.
Stephanie Baham is a native of Los Angeles, CA and now resides in
the San Francisco area. She's a 38 year old professional who has
long enjoyed the craft of writing. Her other interests include film,
theatre, yoga, dancing, literature and politics. Stephanie holds a
Bachelor's degree from Cal State University, Long Beach in Theatre
Arts. She is currently working towards her degree in Psychology.
Jen Kober is "Bringing Hefty
Back!" with
Stephanie Baham
One of my friends posted a bulletin on MySpace about a plus-sized
comedienne named Jen Kober. The tagline on the flyer was "Bringing
Hefty Back." Immediately I started to search for video clips so I
could get a taste of this hefty heroine of comedy. I discovered a
plus-sized Southern diva who is fierce, fearless and funny!
Jen Kober is an in-your-face comedienne who loves to take on
hecklers in the audience. She also sings! (If she gets tired of
the comedy gig...she could certainly make quite a showing on
American Idol). She talks about her love affair with food and has
no shame in her eating game. This funny femme fatale is serious
about her food. Jen says:
"I love chocolate chip cookie dough not just because it's delicious,
but because I know it was invented by a fat girl. Only a fat girl
would be like, "Fuck cooking it - let's just eat the dough!"
Amen sister....amen!
Jen Kober hails from
Lake Charles, LA (I had wondered where Jen got her sassy Southern
drawl). After high school....she attended the theatre school at
DePaul University in Chicago. (On a personal note....a best friend
of mine attended DePaul's theatre school and that place is no joke!
It's a serious training ground for aspiring actors.) Jen has also
studied improvisation at Second City in Chicago...where several of
those Saturday Night Live folks got their start. Professionally, she
has toured successfully with her improvised one woman shows, “Junk
In My Trunk” and “My Big Fat Comedy Show." Jen has appeared on
"Comics Unleashed", TBS's "Stand Up or Sit Down Comedy Challenge"
and Comic Relief.
What I really enjoy
about Jen Kober is that she's a large & lovely comedienne who does
not ignore her size. I've watched several other clips from
plus-sized comedians and they just didn't show the fat pride like
Jen did. I've also seen comedians that design the name of their
tour to reference being big....but they only have about 5 extra
pounds on them. How dare they fake the fat!
Jen is currently
working on her own stand-up special called "Mind The Flap."
According to Jen, she's not afraid to "flap a bitch!"
And she's in production
of her own cooking show! I hope she does an episode about the
different uses of chocolate chip cookie dough. Yum!
My ultimate wish is to see a comedy tour full of plus-sized
comedians. But until that days comes...I will get my laugh from one
funny fat diva at a time.
I am a former plus-size model and stage performer. I have written
articles that have appeared in local newspapers, college magazines
and I was a sports editor for my school newspaper. Currently I have
a book coming out in May 08, How to Make a Living Without a Job: the
Guide to Professional Temping. It will be available online through
Amazon and can be ordered through Barnes & Noble or Borders. I split
my time between the Bay Area, CA and Houston, TX.
Japan, Joins the War
against "Metabo"
(that means Overweight
People) with
Iolande Argent
Anti Metabo Advertising
- Older man being measured in Japan
- Anti Metabo Dance
Japan, is a country not known for overweight people, but like so
many other countries in today’s world it has jumped on the
“Anti-Fat” bandwagon. It has undertaken one of the most ambitious
campaigns ever by a nation to slim down its citizenry.
Under a national law that came into effect two months ago, companies
and local governments must now measure the waistlines of Japanese
people between the ages of 40 and 74 as part of their annual
checkups. That represents more than 56 million waistlines, or about
44 percent of the entire population. The waistlines of these people
must be within the strict state-prescribed limits; for male
waistlines are a strict 33.5 inches and 35.4 inches for women.
Yes, they are measuring waistlines…and what happens when you don’t
meet their strict numbers?
For those unfortunate souls that do you will be given dieting
guidance. This goes on for 90 days and if after three months and no
weight is lost citizens are steered toward further re-education
after six more months.
To further drive this point home and reach some goal of shrinking
the “so-called” overweight population by 10 percent over the next
four years and 25 percent over the next seven years, the government
will impose financial penalties on companies and local governments
that fail to meet specific targets.
Where is the sanity here? Since when has Japan been a country that
needed to “sell” treatments as is done by American medical
associations? Japan’s Ministry of Health argues that the campaign
will keep the spread of diseases like diabetes and strokes in check.
Keep in mind that if someone is diagnosed with stroke or diabetes
only because their waistline is 34” or 36” (for a woman) it’s a
pretty good bet weight isn’t the reason they’ve got these ailments.
The ministry also says that curbing widening waistlines will rein in
a rapidly aging society’s ballooning health care costs, one of the
most serious and politically delicate problems facing Japan today.
Unlike in America most Japanese are covered under public health
care. However like in America some are covered through their work.
But in a move that was taking from the chapter on “How American
Medical Practices Makes Money through Healthcare” Anger raged over a
plan that would make those 75 and older pay more for health care.
Needless to say this brought a parliamentary censure motion
Wednesday against Prime Minister Yasuo Fukuda,
the first against a prime minister in the country’s postwar history.
What a thing to be called to the matt for.
Okay so they are adopting an age old American tradition; let’s make
you pay for living longer. The older you get the more your
healthcare costs increase. Everyone likes to brag about how modern
medicine gives us the ability to live longer than the ancestors but
you better believe you will pay for that privilege.
But critics say that the government guidelines — especially the one
about male waistlines — are simply too strict and that more than
half of all men will be considered overweight. The effect, they say,
will be to encourage overmedication and ultimately raise health care
costs.
Yoichi Ogushi, a professor at Tokai University’s School of Medicine
near Tokyo and an expert on public health, said that there was “no
need at all” for the Japanese to lose weight.
“I don’t think the campaign will have any positive effect. Now if
you did this in the United States, there would be benefits, since
there are many Americans who weigh more than 100 kilograms,” or
about 220 pounds, Mr. Ogushi said. “But the Japanese are so slender
that they can’t afford to lose weight.”
Mr. Ogushi was actually a little harder on Americans than they
deserved. A survey by the National Center for Health Statistics
found that the average waist size for Caucasian American men was 39
inches, a full inch lower than the 40-inch threshold established by
the International Diabetes Federation. American women did not fare
as well, with an average waist size of 36.5 inches, about two inches
above their threshold of 34.6 inches. The differences in thresholds
reflected variations in height and body type from Japanese men and
women.
Comparable figures for the Japanese are sketchy since waistlines
have not been measured officially in the past. But private research
on thousands of Japanese indicates that the average male waistline
falls just below the new government limit.
That fact, widely reported in the media, has heightened the anxiety
in the nation’s health clinics.
In Amagasaki, a
city in western Japan, officials have moved aggressively to measure
waistlines in what the government calls special checkups. The city
had to measure at least 65 percent of the 40- to 74-year-olds
covered by public health insurance,
an “extremely difficult” goal, acknowledged Midori Noguchi, a city
official.
When his turn came, Mr. Nogiri, the flower shop owner, entered a
booth where he bared his midriff, exposing a flat stomach with
barely discernible love handles. A nurse wrapped a tape measure
around his waist across his belly button: 33.6 inches, or 0.1 inch
over the limit.
“Strikeout,” he said, defeat spreading across his face.
The campaign started a couple of years ago when the Health Ministry
began beating the drums for a medical condition that few Japanese
had ever heard of — metabolic syndrome — a collection of factors
that heighten the risk of developing vascular disease and diabetes.
Those include abdominal obesity,
high blood pressure
and high levels of blood glucose and cholesterol.
In no time, the scary-sounding condition was popularly shortened to
the funny-sounding “metabo”, and it has become the nation’s
shorthand for overweight.
The mayor of one town in Mie, a prefecture near here, became so
wrapped up in the anti-metabo campaign that he and six other town
officials formed a weight-loss group called “The Seven Metabo
Samurai.” That campaign ended abruptly after a 47-year-old member
with a 39-inch waistline died of a heart attack
while jogging.
Still, at a city gym in Amagasaki recently, dozens of residents —
few of whom appeared overweight — danced to the city’s anti-metabo
song, which warned against trouser buttons popping and flying away,
“pyun-pyun-pyun!”
“Goodbye, metabolic. Let’s get our checkups together. Go! Go! Go!
Goodbye, metabolic. Don’t wait till you get sick. No! No! No!”
Erin says she grew up in a rural Texas town, the small town life
atmosphere has always appealed to me and that is why I currently
reside here. I have the city life girl burrowed deep within me
though and sometimes she is able to escape to Dallas and have a good
time. I was a very awkward child, and when ADD was not even
understood, I had it, and spent a lot of time in the principals
office. I grew up very much a tomboy. Once I hit 18, I set out on
the world and started school. My major was to be journalism, then in
1999, tragedy hit me and I nearly died in a car accident. The outer
wounds healed rather quickly leaving me with the inner scars I still
deal with daily. I try to see each day as a new one and keep family
and friends really close to my heart where they belong. I enjoy
music and photography and my love for writing has stayed with me
since I was a child. Now as a 29 year old woman, I spend most days
still day dreaming and working hard to make them come true. I am
currently in school full time and will complete my journalism degree
with a minor in music. Pink is my absolute favorite color! I write
poetry and am currently working on my first book about my life.
Erin was chosen because
of her flair with words and her ability to find real day to day
instances in which Plus Sized people say WHY, Oh, WHY.
July 2008 Article
by Erin Thonpson
This article I have to regretfully say, will not be as positive
as my previous ones. I recently flew using an unnamed Airline. I
was free to move about the country and yet they wanted me to
purchase two seats instead of one. I understand this policy and
I will always adhere to it, when it is presented to me in a
respectful manner. I was on my flight leaving Dallas and I was
approached in front of my entire team of coworkers (we were on a
company trip) by the Customer Service Manager for the airline.
She proceeded to discuss as she called it “The People Of Size
Policy” At this point I could feel the blood rush from my face.
I felt really pale. She then started explaining to me how there
just may not be room for me on the flight back home on Thursday
she would have to check on it. I then told her I was on a
company trip and she would need to talk with my Supervisor who
was about three seats up. This was humiliating to say the very
least. You see me coming, you see me boarding the plane, I have
already gone through both security check points. So why oh why
do you wait until we are all comfortable and seated to approach
me with this matter. She already had assumed that I had not
bought the two seats needed. She could have used more tack. She
could have been kinder, more gentle. I am a big girl and I know
this, but I am human and I have feelings. I let them get
trampled on constantly. I allow people to say things to me, I
let it all roll off my back. This really bothered me and is
still bothering me. It was already hard enough to board a plane
full of people and the looks on all their faces. “Oh God, please
do let her ask to sit here” They all looked horrified as I
passed them, each hitting their elbows on my carry on. I say
positive most of the time, but this particular day, I was
wounded. Everything is really small in a small persons world. It
is how “people of size” deal with these situations that makes us
who we are. We are fragile, but we are strong. We hurt, but we
get up and fight again. We need to be more aware of these
things, but it gets harder and harder as America becomes more
“fat” and the world still caters to the supermodel only. I will
fight back on this one and I will fight the fight for all
“people of size” Do not ask me AFTER the fact to buy to seats
when clearly the plane was not full and another person could and
was willing to sit next to me on the plane. I will steer clear
of negative thoughts on this one and let you all decide. I will
try and make my next article more upbeat.
This is an experiment in Confession, you can anonymously confess, or
let everyone know something that you feel. Every Month we will
post all the confessions and you can come and view them and be
inspired to make your own.
You can send in a picture, You can make a graphic, You
can just send in your written words. You can do it anonymously
and get something off your chest. You can let everyone know
who you are and liberate yourself.
Hope you enjoy Confession! Send in your own check the bottom
of this page!
CONFESSIONS
I only started to
Live when I started to Love Myself!
****CONFESSION*****
I fell in love with
a marvelous fat woman, My parents said for appearances I
couldn't marry her.
30 years later I
still regret listening to my parents.
****CONFESSION*****
Every time I see that
commercial about V8 I imagine someone slapping me in my head saying
"YOU COULD HAVE HAD A
FAT CHICK" Why am I in this relationship????????
****CONFESSION*****
After losing over 150 pounds I now look at obese women and
wonder if they know they can really improve their health and
lives by simply pushing away the plate or by making healthier
choices.
Life is about living and being happy. I lied to myself for years
about being happy at a size 24 but the reality is I was
miserable, unhealthy and hiding from life.
****CONFESSION*****
I emailed the woman above and she then told me she was sending a
confession
and didn't expect she
would be belittled for it.
When I told her it
sounds like she is belittling those who choose to be happy and Large
She said nothing.
I still feel sorry for this woman. She couldn't find a life
with out changing her body.
What type of self worth
is that? Society really played a number on her.
~ Raqui ~
****CONFESSION*****
Send in
your own Confession, Use the email to the Right and send in a your
confession, weather it is a graphic you made (NO BIGGER THAN 5x7 92 DPI)
or a picture you saw. You can also just send in text words.
Your Confession can be Anonymous or you can tell everyone who you are.
One of our
favorite parts of the Magazine. The Guest Spot is for our readers to
submit there talents to be viewed. We want to see all you wonderful
supporters making moves of your own. If you write poetry, short
stories, commentaries, or just thoughts in general, please submit them to
us. If your a designer we want to see pictures of your clothing. We would love to
include your talents in our newsletter. We hope you take an active
part in the L.I.C. newsletter. Send in your article, poetry, comments to -
articles@largeincharge.com
NOTE:
The Opinion of the writer
is not always the opinion of The Large in Charge Staff. We support the
Right to all views. We do not Condemn or Approve writing
based on our personal thoughts. We approve writing based on if the
subject is a concern for the BBW / SSBBW / BHM Community. Thank you
for your writing and please send in those articles! - The Large in
Charge Staff
Guest Writer of the
Month
My Confessions
Written By: Freda
McPeters
My Confessions of Being
a Big Beautiful Woman
She walk real
proud, Her confidence,
has your head
bowed,
Her image doesnt
reside in mumu's and flower dresses,
she loves clothes
that cling to her tripple D breastesses,
She's a 3 outta
3,
She don't lack,
Spiritual,
Mental,
or Physical
Maturity,
When you hug her,
Its deeper than a
surface tap,
her body is
filled with love,
and extra cushion
for you to grab,
Her smell is so
sweet,
it make you wanna
linger,
and her first
impression,
Will Make you a
little eager,
Independant, and
nothing less,
Her life stays
full of ambition
and success, Yea,
She is Full and
Sexy,
With plenty to
feed the greedy,
and for you
skinny hatin sistahs,
she willin to
donate,
some for the
needy,
She loves a good
cerebral -cortex penetration,
and opens her
mind up,
to deep mental
stimulation,
By the time she
finishes the conversation,
her draws wont
be the only thing your chasin,
so I advise a
little discretion,
and lets not
forget to mention,
her passion for
the kitchen,
Puttin together
creative dishes,
like,
white rice and
gerk chicken,
wearing nothing
but a thong
and six inch
stilletos,
She'll have you
cravin her strawberry jello,
and she got that
good good,
to make your
attitude mellow,
juicy, is only
one word,
She got enough to
water the earth,
body made so
close,
youd think she
was a virgin,
and the spasms
in your back,
will have ya doin
more than splurgin,
nothin about her
is uncertain,
what you see, Is
what you get,
A full-figured
woman,
Proud of her
thickness....
HOW TO APPLY TO
BE A WRITER!!!
Interested in applying
for a writers position?
Send in the information below along with a clear photograph of
yourself and one complete article at least 300 words. Please
make sure your article is matching the position your applying for.
If you are a versatile writer and applying for more than one
position send in one article for each position.
Any submissions maybe be used in the magazine as a guest article or
other wise if you do not receive a position. If you are picked
for a position it will be used as a back up for your column in case
of emergency.
I want to Apply for a
Writers Position:
My Name is:
My email address is:
My Phone Number is:
My location/address is:
The position I am
applying for is:
Here is my article:
I am allowing
LargeInCharge to use my image and article as they see fit. By
typing my name and date I understand that I agree to the above.
NAME/DATE
We love our guest
writers, they help us to make LargeInCharge more personal and reader friendly place. We bring the
people words from there own peers. If you always wanted to
write but never knew what to do with your thoughts and opinions.
Send them in to us we love to feature you in our guest spot.
What
type of entries do we accept?
Original
Articles that have not been placed in
publication.
Size Empowerment Stories
Discovery of Size Acceptance
Romance of Large Size
Poetry - at least 25 lines in length
Complaints about Society
Complaints about what is provided for
Big People
Complaints about Health Care
Weight Loss Surgery Experiences
Dealing with Doctors
The Joy of being Big
Learning to Love yourself
etc.
How to Submit my Article
for review?
Check your article
for spelling and correct format, We do not edit articles.
Attach your article
either in Word, Text Format, or in the Body of your email.
In your email send
your Real Name, E-mail and Address (state, location).
Under your Name and
Address include date, and the line. "I give
www.largeincharge.com
and there owners, permission to use my written article. I am
submitting it for there use at their discretion."
Include a picture if you so wish in .jpg or .gif format and a
brief description of yourself.
NOTE:
The
Opinion of Raqui is just that. I do not claim to be
professional or to solve your problems. I can however
give you a real answer that may help you out.
Ask Raqui
Q:
I
am so loving the Radio Show your doing what made
you come up with the idea and where did you find
your Co-Host Saint
Kelly
Raqui: Actually
I answered that in last months article so check out the
June Issues LOL, To break it down quickly I was thinking
about it for years but finally just decided I had to do
it and went full force forward with it. Saint has
been a good friend of mine for almost 3 years and when
he heard about this he just jumped in and came on in.
That is why I call him Un-Authorized because he didn't
apply he just did what he knew I needed done.
www.blogtalkradio.com/largeinchargeradio
Q:
I never seem to catch the Show you be
doing. How can I get to it?
Mikey boy
Raqui:
All of the Shows archive so you
can listen to them at any time. You can come here
and go to the radio page to listen to old show and see
next weeks show or you can go to the link from the
question above. You can also subscribe via iTunes
and have them download right to your I-pod.
Q:
Vegas is huge Raqui how will I
find you I really want to meet you!
Tracey
Raqui: I
will be at as many events as possible and I will spend a
lot of time in the lobby also so people can find me.
Your guaranteed to find me at the many other activities
besides the parties :) hugs
Q:
I am scared about traveling
to Vegas for the bash. I don't know anyone there!
Trina
Raqui:
Many people feel the
same way but remember that the Vegas bash is a place to
meet lots of new people. I don't know many in
Vegas either. I am sure you will make many new friends
and you can always come hang with me. Go to the
message boards on
www.bbwnetwork.com and see if you can make
some new friends in the meantime.
We all hate how the Fashion Industry is just scratching the
surface when it comes to Large Sized Fashion. But I have
found out that many clothing stores and online companies are
beginning to take up the slack. Creative BBW, SSBBW and
BHM's are making there own clothing or mix matching and finding
basic everyday wear and night club wear.
Making it affordable is what can be hard so showcase your
wonderful finds here. If your a regular shopper, sew your
own clothing or a designer showcase your clothing here by
submitting a picture for Fashion Furious of the month.
Fashion Furious of the Month
How to
send in your Fashion Find. Send a Clear Picture as
an attachment
and
use the Format Below to describe your Fashion
Furious picture.
Why I Like this Item: I ordered this Tunic in the
bright yellow after some time by the pool it will look
great on against my skin tone. These tunic are
soft, comfy and easy to throw on with the same spandex
leggings seen above. You can wear it on any
regular day or out for the night dress it up or down it
is your choice :) and if it fits me at a 6X it will
defiantly fit anyone. :) This Tunic really makes
your breast's look great and best of all it looks so
much better on a fuller figure than the skinny chick
above :) for some reason on her it looks plain but
with the curves it looks OUTTA SIGHT!!!!!
A very important and necessary part of LargeInCharge. Find out what is
helpful for big bodies. Keep your self straight with some of our tips
and tricks. Find out what other Big Sized people use to keep themselves
smelling, feeling, looking, and living a proper life. What kind of
products are allowed. Anything that deal with the body. From cleaning aids
to soap, lotions, powder, healing aids etc. anything that can help a
big body!
NOTE:
The Opinion of those who
submit items are not professional. They are everyday people who found
something that worked for them. We are not held responsible for there
opinion - The Large in
Charge Staff
Send your
favorite Item to be Product of the Month - Follow format below, include a
picture of product (most can be found online) and Send to
articles@largeincharge.com
Product of the Month
About the Product
Recommender:
Raqui
Name of Product:
Hoveround
Type of Product:
Mobility Products
Cost of Product:
Depends on item / they help you get your for free or at
little cost
Description:
Let Hoveround power wheelchairs make
your mobility challenges a thing of the past. Our innovative
design, durability and customer service have made Hoveround
products America's favorite mobility products. We are the
only power chair manufacturer to design, sell and service
our power wheelchairs, which are all made in the U.S.A. We
also offer FREE guidance through the Medicare process, the
HOVEROUND CUSTOM FIT, delivery and complete training. In
addition, every power chair comes with our
30-day money backand
"Never
Without Wheels" guarantees.
Rediscover your independence with a Hoveround power chair.
Why I like this Product: I like this company because they understand a big person's needs. I
remember these commercials for years. They help the Elderly
and Disabled get a Hoveround compatible mobility chair at
little or no cost. They handle everything so it is easy for
you.