The Adventures of Phatgurl
by Emily Suzanne
Smiltneck
The
Adventures Of Phatgurl
is a serial collection of stories about the adventures of Jany, a
plus-sized young woman who, in desperation, places an ad on a
personals website. As she embarks on her dates, she meets many
different kinds of men who expect many different things from her.
Some of her adventures are wildly amusing and others are more
serious and even sad.
If you have any
ideas or experiences, funny or otherwise, that you would like to see
depicted in a future Phatgurl story, please e-mail me at
emilysuzanne20@hotmail.com.
I will do my very best to incorporate all reader ideas into future
columns. Thanks!
The Ad (Part 2)
SWSSBBW
seeks SM who will not rape her, emotionally or otherwise.
The ability to both speak and write in complete sentences is
a plus. Must not inadvertently throw her down stairs or
pretend that she is “Mama.” Intelligent conversation, a
little respect, and the lack of a current significant other
will get you far. And a well-developed sense of humor won’t
hurt, either. If you like smart chicks with jelly bellies
and thunder thighs, reply to
phatgurl@personalz.com
Candidate 2.2: The Boy-Man
To:
phatgurl@personalz.com
From:
one_sexy_dude@personalz.com
Subject: Hey,
Gurl
Yo, what up?
Ya wanna hook up sumtime, hit me back.
To:
one_sexy_dude@personalz.com
From:
phatgurl@personalz.com
Subject: Re:
Hey, Gurl
Um… yo? Is
that how I’m supposed to respond? I am “hitting you back,”
but I’m not sure if I feel like “hooking up.” I guess it
depends exactly what you mean by hook up and what kind of
guy you turn out to be. Fair? How ‘bout if ya tell me a
little more about yourself and we’ll go from there. And
feel free to ask questions about me.
To:
phatgurl@personalz.com
From:
one_sexy_dude@personalz.com
Subject: Re:
Re: Hey, Gurl
I have a
daughter, four years old. I get her every weekend and a few
weeks at a time in the summer. I love her more than
anything. I work at a call center, and when I need a little
extra money, I work nights for my brother doing computer
programming stuff- just the input kind of stuff. I don’t
know much about programming. I live just out of the burbs
in a place that feels sort of like the middle of nowhere,
but I’m close to my kid, so I can deal with it. I’m into
fishing and that kind of shit. And when I said hook up, I
meant get together. I wouldn’t complain if we hooked up
when we hooked up, though. Get what I mean?
To:
one_sexy_dude@personalz.com
From:
phatgurl@personalz.com
Subject:
“Hooking Up”
I would be more
than happy to hook up with you, but I will not promise to
HOOK UP with you. I like to think I’m a classy broad, and
while I do know how to have a good time, I like to make sure
it’s going to BE a good time before I have it. Do YOU get
what I mean? As long as we’re clear on that, when do you
want to get together? Oh, and here’s a pic. When you see
it, it could change everything.
To:
phatgurl@personalz.com
From:
one_sexy_dude@personalz.com
Subject: Re:
“Hooking Up”
ASAP.
That’s when I wanna hook up. You need to grow a set of
balls, girl. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with the way you look
and you gotta OWN that. Come see me Friday after work.
We’ll hang. You can sleep on my couch if ur too tired
to go home. I attached directions to my house.
Jany had a driver’s license, but she’d never gotten around
to getting a car—public transportation was just plain
cheaper, all things considered. She had, on occasion,
borrowed one of the three cars Mala owned but never seemed
to actually drive anywhere, though. It was one of the perks
of being cashier, janitor, personal assistant, conscience,
and logic to a woman who was so caught up in her own
creative process that she barely seemed to live on Earth.
So, on Tuesday morning, Jany talked to Mala, and, as usual,
Mala absent-mindedly dropped a set of keys into Jany’s hand
and waved her away without question or comment, intent on
her latest creation. And so the problem of getting there
was taken care of.
Friday morning, Jany’s phone rang just as she was waking up
for work. Sleepily, she answered it without really looking
to see who it was. A voice that Jany was far too tired to
recognize said, “Hey, Sexy.”
“Uh, hi. Who—who is this?”
“Who do you think it is?” the deep voice asked.
“It’s 5:30 in the morning and I’m half asleep—I don’t think
at all.”
“It’s me. Don.”
“Don? Oh, Don!” Jany laughed as she sat up in bed. “I’m
sorry. You woke me up. So what’s new?” Jany tried hard
not to express her irritation at such an early wake-up
call. While one or two of the e-mails Don had sent had
seemed crass and unintelligent, their phone conversations
were full of art and politics and family and all the things
that made Jany fall hardest for a man, and so she had no
desire to discourage him from calling.
“I
just wanted to hear your voice. And tell you a few things.”
“Like?”
“I
dunno.” His voice was quiet, guarded. Like a child’s when
he or she is about to admit to some sort of wrongdoing.
“Well, my apartment’s kinda nasty right now. I’ve just been
busy and lazy lately.”
“Okay. I mean, that’s fine. I can deal.” Jany’s heart
went out to Don; she was touched that he would be that
worried about impressing her, and amazed that a guy, for
once, felt as though he needed to impress her.
“Cool. I thought maybe you’d help me clean up a little. My
little girl’s comin’ tomorrow. And I need to do laundry, so
we might chill at the Laundromat for a while. Oh, and if
you could help me cut my hair, that’d be cool. And we need
to do some shopping so I can make you dinner. Whaddya
like?”
“Uh, I like just about anything, really.”
“I
hate it when chicks do that! Why do women never have
an opinion until a dude does something and it’s the wrong
thing?”
“I
do have an opinion. My opinion is that whatever you feel
like making is fine.”
“All right, then. Bacon double effing cheeseburgers.”
“Sounds good. See? Was that so hard?” Jany was angry,
now. She felt foolish that she had been so eager to comfort
Don when he had only intended to give her a list of jobs to
do.
“Whatever,” Don spat back. “Anyway, I gotta get my ass to
work. See ya.”
“Bye.”
Jany wondered if Don was for real or if it was just some
kind of test to see if she was a raging feminist or a
controlling woman. She also wondered if maybe his behavior
was normal and she had just never encountered such requests
because of her limited dating experience. In any case, she
figured it couldn’t hurt to meet the guy and see what he was
all about. At times he seemed fairly intelligent and
decent, and she’d have a car, so if things got weird, she
could just leave. He seemed more like the men she read
about in novels and magazines than any of the other guys
she’d dated so far, anyway. Jany shook off her thoughts and
got out of bed. Don’s phone call had stolen a good chunk of
her morning, and it was time to get going. Probably not a
good idea to be late on the day she was borrowing her boss’s
car.
After work, Jany hurried home and carefully parked Mala’s
car on a side street. She ran upstairs to shower, change,
and grab her bag, and then she was on her way.
She
was just getting out of the worst of the city traffic when
her phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Yo. Don. What up?”
“Not much. And, uh, what up with you?”
“Just checkin’ in. Where ya be, girl?”
Jany glanced down at Mala’s GPS.
“Um, I’m about an hour away, it looks like.”
“’Kay, cool. So I think I’m gonna run to the casino for a
bit. If you get to my place and I’m not home, just go on
in. It ain’t locked. It’s a white building, business
called Clyde’s, and ya go up the outside stairs in the
back. I’m the only door on the upper level.”
If
he was so worried about the state of his apartment, Jany
wondered, why was he not going home to clean? But she
didn’t want to come across as a nagging girlfriend type, so
she grasped for another straw.
“I’m not sure it’s a good idea for me to chill in your house
alone. I mean, you don’t even know me.”
“It’s cool, it’s cool. Just go ahead in. Feel free to
start cleaning if you want. See ya in a while.”
And
he was gone. By the time Jany was pulling into the parking
lot next to Clyde’s Adult Novelties—Don had apparently
neglected to mention what kind of business Clyde’s was—there
was a giant knot in her stomach. Bravely, she made her way
up the stairs and knocked on the door, just in case.
Nothing. She slid down onto the stairs and pulled out her
phone. Don answered on the fourth ring.
“Yo. Damn, girl, whaddya want?”
“Well, excuse me. I was just wondering what you were up
to.”
“Still at the casino. You at the apartment?”
“Yeah. Sitting outside.”
“Well, go ahead in. Clean something. I’ll head home in a
while.”
And
he was gone again. Jany considered just going home, but she
really didn’t want to. Maybe once they were together, face
to face, the intelligent and charming side of Don would come
out again and they would have a wonderful evening. Jany’s
burgeoning sense of confidence wasn’t yet strong enough to
let her pass up the possibility of a real connection with
someone, no matter how slim the chance of such a connection
was. She slowly stood up and approached the door. There
was an envelope stuck in the screen door. 14th
District Court, it said across the front in blue
lettering. She was briefly tempted to steam it open and
read it, see what kind of guy Don really was, but she
quickly abandoned the thought, left the envelope where it
was and went inside. Her first impression was not a
wonderful one. There were dirty dishes in the sink, an
overflowing garbage can against one wall of the kitchen,
half-put-together shelving units all over the place, and
junk everywhere.
Jany gingerly made her way to the dusty couch and balanced
on the edge of it. She decided to read for a while, try to
relax. She’d finished her book and gotten a good start on
another one by the time her phone rang.
“Hey, babe. I’m leaving now. You ready to see me?”
“I
better be. I’ve been here for an hour and a half waiting.”
“Aw, you’re not mad, are ya? I told ya I haven’t been to
the casino in a while. I needed to unwind. Anyway, see ya
when I get there.”
Jany gritted her teeth and tossed her phone onto the couch.
His habit of ending phone calls abruptly, without finishing
conversations, was becoming more than a little irritating.
When Don finally burst through the door, Jany looked up
expectantly. Physically, he was far more attractive than
Jany had expected him to be from the photos she had seen.
His attitude, however, was not as attractive.
“Goddamn mother—” he was saying, as he tore open the
envelope from the 14th District Court. Then he
looked toward Jany. “Hey, there, good to see you!” He
paused to hug her, then continued his rant. “Stupid court.
I owe ‘em like 90 bucks and now they say I gotta pay up by
next week. I hate that stupid woman!”
“Yeah, you too—” Jany started, but stopped. She was pretty
sure he’d already forgotten the ‘good to see you part,’
which sort of took the meaning away from her response. She
didn’t know what he had to pay the court for or what woman
he hated, but it didn’t seem like a good time to ask. Don
was on a roll, though, and didn’t give her time to respond
anyway.
“You didn’t start cleaning, hey? I was hoping you’d’ve at
least done some dishes. Oh, well. You don’t mind if I play
some video games, do you?” As he talked, Don stripped down
to his boxer shorts and planted himself on the floor in
front of the TV. Jany stared incredulously at the half nude
and totally rude man who was making her feel more and more
like just packing up and leaving.
“Um, no. That’s cool, I guess.” She settled back into the
couch and picked up her book again. The only sounds were
the annoying bleeps of the video game and Don’s intermittent
swearing, until a loud ring tone burst from his phone. He
quickly paused the game and picked up the phone. He looked
back at Jany.
“Shit, I gotta take this. Gimme a minute.” He stood up and
bolted into the bedroom. “Hey, honey. What up?” Jany heard
him say.
Another woman. He apparently couldn’t even let the call go
to voicemail and call the woman back when he was alone.
Jany grabbed her bag and stood up, ready to walk out. He
wouldn’t even know until after she’d driven. But then she
put the bag back down and perched on the edge of the couch
again.
She
wasn’t so desperate for attention that she was willing to go
through anything to get it anymore. Six months ago, that
would have been the case, and Jany was proud that she had
moved beyond that. But if not desperation, what was keeping
her from leaving? It wasn’t Don’s charm, that’s for sure.
She wasn’t sure what was keeping her there, but it
wasn’t desperation. Maybe it was the train wreck effect—she
just couldn’t ignore her fascination with what was sure to
be a grand disaster. And not matter whether the evening got
better or not, it seemed as though it might turn out to be
one hell of a story.
She
was smiling bravely when Don came back into the room.
“So, what we gonna do now?” he asked.
“I
really don’t know. What did you have planned?”
“Was thinkin’ about supper.”
“That’s cool.”
Don
went in the kitchen and cupboard doors started creaking and
bumping.
“Shit. I ain’t got no buns,” Don grumbled loudly. For a
minute there was no sound or movement from the kitchen.
Then, “Yo, Mama! Didja hear me?”
“I
heard you,” Jany said coolly, walking into the kitchen. “I
didn’t know I was supposed to respond.”
“You gonna run to the store and buy us some buns?”
“Am
I gonna do what?”
“Run to the store for buns. Never mind. We’ll just use
bread.” Don opened the freezer. “Damn. I don’t got
nothin’ to go with the burgers. Hey, com’ on. Run to the
store for me.”
“I
don’t know where it is—”
“Yeah, that’s cool. I figured. Whatever. We’ll just do
this.” Don’s tone made it clear that he thought she was
making weak excuses for not doing something that was ger
duty. He took several mostly empty plastic bags from the
freezer and dumped them all out on a baking sheet into what
amounted to a tiny mountain of mozzarella sticks, French
fries, tater tots, and egg rolls.
“Get the bread ready. We’ll do open-faced sandwiches.”
Jany stared vacantly at the countertop. It was a common
problem she had, not being sure of what to do in someone
else’s kitchen. She was always afraid she would do
something her way, rather than the other person’s way, and
be reprimanded.
“Com’ on! The burgers are almost done!”
“I—what do you want me to do?”
“I
said get the damn bread ready!”
“What do you want me to do with the damn bread?”
“Get it ready for open-faced goddamn sandwiches!” He tossed
a pack of paper plates onto the countertop in front of her.
As
she was scooting his dirty dishes and loose papers and mail
over to make room to set two paper plates next to each
other, Jany wondered again why she was still there. She
couldn’t quite make herself leave, though. Maybe it was her
penchant for never leaving things unfinished.
“Jany! What the hell am I gonna do with you? Two
pieces of bread on the plates. Two. We’re having
sandwiches!”
Mutely, Jany added a piece of bread to each paper plate.
An open-faced sandwich is on one piece of bread, asshole.
That’s why it’s called open-faced, Jany wanted to say.
She didn’t, of course. She just smiled sweetly into Don’s
eyes as she fantasized about dumping his ice cold beer over
his head. Humming to himself, Don slid a hamburger patty
from the skillet onto each plate.
“What kinda cheese you want?”
“Cheddar is good,” Jany replied.
“All I got is American.” He unwrapped two pieces of
American cheese and slapped one onto each burger. Then he
threw a towel over his hand and grabbed the baking sheet out
of the oven. “Gimme your plate.”
Jany tried to hand him her paper plate, but he looked at her
derisively.
“Put it under the corner of the pan, girl.”
Jany rolled her eyes but complied and he slid half of the
contents of the baking sheet onto her plate and the rest
onto his own. Then she stood silently and waited for some
indication of where Don intended to settle down to eat. He
leaned one hip against the counter and held his plate in one
hand. He’d made dinner for her but expected her to go buy
half of it and then made her to stand up in the kitchen to
eat? Classy date.
They ate quickly; on Jany’s part, it was mainly because she
wanted to sit down somewhere and figured she couldn’t until
she finished eating. Finally, Don handed her his empty
plate. She accepted it, but looked at him curiously.
“Throw it away, woman. Don’t just stand there all night.”
He disappeared into the bedroom.
Jany threw away their plates and then looked around the
kitchen. Should she do dishes or something? He had, after
all, made her dinner. Then she shrugged her shoulders and
settled herself on the couch in the living room again. If
he didn’t care to impress her, why should she try to impress
him? She’d been there for only a few minutes when Don
called for her to come into his room. Cautiously, unsure of
what she’d find, she got up and peeked through the doorway.
He was laying on his bed, still in his boxers. At least he
wasn’t completely naked.
“Come on, baby. Come lay down.”
Jany joined him on his bed, a bare mattress on a box spring
on the floor. The floor was littered with dirty clothes
that she had to pick her way around as she walked. He
smiled at her until she carefully positioned herself as far
away from him as she could.
“You can come closer, babe. Com’ on.”
Jany slid toward him just a little. He reached out and
rested a hand on her knee. It felt nice, the warmth of life
against her skin. That was one of the things she craved.
She relaxed a little as he started talking about his
daughter and his job and childhood, all safe subjects that
didn’t threaten Jany at all. As they talked, Jany slowly
moved closer to Don until they were lying side by side on
the mattress, each with arms wrapped lightly around the
other. And then Don’s phone rang again. He sat up to
answer it.
“Hey, darlin’. What up? I see. Yeah. Well, of course.
When did ya wanna get together? Oh, com’ on. You know I
wanna tap that sweet ass a yours.”
He
continued talking, but Jany decided she should find
something else to pay attention to. Here she was, in Don’s
bed, touching him, and he was talking to another woman,
already planning his next conquest. Jany was so angry that
the customary tears that were generally at the ready to
emerge on such an occasion didn’t come. She rolled over on
to her stomach, picked up her cell phone, and started
working on a sudoku puzzle. Or trying to, anyway. She
wanted to leave, wanted to stop listening to all the things
he was saying to the woman on the phone, things he should be
saying to her, but she couldn’t. She was riveted to his
every word. Every few minutes, she had to fight back the
urge to take the phone from his hand in a surprise attack
and scream into the receiver, “I just thought you should
know that while he’s saying those things to you, he’s
holding my hand!” Because he was—as he spoke clearly
into the receiver, making no attempt to muffle his words, he
slowly reached out and laced his fingers through Jany’s, an
act of imagined solidarity. It was anger that kept her from
leaving now. If he had so little regard for her feelings,
he must be having a terrible time with her, and Jany had no
inkling to leave so he could have a better time with someone
else.
His
conversation lasted forty-five minutes. When he hung up, he
turned back toward Jany and dropped his arm over her
shoulders, gently tickling the side of her breast with his
knuckles.
“How’s it goin’ babe?”
“Just peachy.”
“Roll over this way, hey? I wanna get closer to ya.”
“I’m good where I am.” Jany spoke in short abrupt
sentences. She had no desire to hide her disappointment,
her anger.
“Oh, God. You’re pissed, aren’t you?”
“I’m not exactly happy.”
“Oh, whatever. You live in the city. I never get there and
you never get here. What does it hurt for me to be workin’
on someone a little more local.”
“That’s cool. Doesn’t hurt a thing.” Jany shook his arm
off her shoulders and stood up.
“Where ya goin’? Com’ on, baby. Oh, hey! Did you wanna do
my hair now?”
Jany could only stare silently as Don stood up and walked
out to the kitchen. She followed him, almost in a trance.
He disappeared into the bathroom and then emerged with a can
of shaving cream, two razors, and a washcloth. He said
something Jany didn’t catch and then pointed at a metal bowl
that was in the sink.
“Grab that bowl and put some warm water in it, ‘kay? Not
too warm, but not cold. And then can you go in the other
room and grab the chair that’s behind those shelves?” He
pointed. “Careful, ‘cause the seat comes off.” He
disappeared back into the bathroom. Jany could hear exactly
what he was doing, because he didn’t bother to close the
door. But when he came out, the chair and the bowl were
both ready for him. “Good girl,” he said, smiling. Then he
sat down.
Jany wasn’t sure exactly where to start. She’d never, after
all, shaven a head before.
“Um—where do I start?” she finally asked.
“Get part of my head wet. Then rub some shaving cream on it
and shave. That easy. Just don’t put the cream on my whole
head at once. It’ll dry.” Those were the only instructions
he gave her, and for lack of any better ideas, Jany followed
his orders. She fumed silently as she worked. This was
certainly not what one would expect from a date. There was
a little part of her that wondered if maybe she was just
being overly picky, expecting too much. After all, she
wasn’t exactly a supermodel. Maybe this was the kind of man
she deserved. When Don started snoring gently, she told
that little part of herself to shut up. No way did she
deserve this.
And
once she settled into the job, she sort of enjoyed herself.
There was something satisfying about running a sharp blade
over this man’s skin, especially because he was asleep and
couldn’t criticize her work. Or stop her if she gave in to
a sudden urge to slit his throat. Not that she’d do that,
but the power was hers. When she finished, she slapped his
back lightly.
“Hey, you gonna wake up?” she asked loudly.
“Yeah, yeah. Yo, I’m awake. You done?” He raised his
hands and felt his now-bald head. “Still feels a little
rough over here, Girl. Better finish it up.” And within
seconds, he was snoring again. Jany did finish up, this
time with a little less care not to nick his skin. He awoke
just as she was washing out the bowl she had used and wiping
up the water and shaving cream that had gotten on the
countertop.
“Hey, woman. What you doin’?”
“What am I doing? I’m cleaning up your kitchen, just like
you wanted me to. There was shaving cream all over, so I’m
wiping it up.”
“But that counter is filthy!”
“Uh, yeah. I know. That would most likely be why I’m
cleaning it.”
“Damn, girl. Didn’t you hear me say that was my
face-washin’ rag?”
Jany sighed in exasperation and threw the rag into the sink.
“It’s awright. I’ll just use a clean one.” Don spoke
softly, as though he had just realized that maybe he was
pushing things too far. “Hey, whaddya wanna do now? You
wanna go somewhere, or just hang out here?” He jerked his
head toward the bedroom, as if to indicate that if they
stayed, they’d be spending their time there. Which was the
exact thing Jany was trying to avoid. He was physically one
of the most attractive men who had ever spoken to her, which
probably somewhat explained her reluctance to cut him loose,
but his demeanor was ugly. She did have a mild desire to
test his bedroom skills, but it was a very mild
desire, and she wasn’t so lacking in self respect
that she was willing to let that happen.
“Let’s go. Why don’t we go to the casino?”
“’Kay, then. A gamblin’ girl, that’s what I like. Lemme go
change.”
As
he led Jany down the stairs, Don looked over his shoulder.
“Hey, girl. You wanna drive and we’ll take your car? I
don’t got much gas and I’m thinkin’ I might sleep on the way
there anyway.”
“I—I can. If you tell me where to go. I guess.” They
settled into Mala’s car.
“This is a pretty sexy car,” Don said, running his hand over
the dash. Jany tried to remember if he had run his hands
over her skin like that when she was next to him in his
bed. He hadn’t. “I didn’t know you had this kinda money.
You wouldn’t wanna toss me a few at the casino, wouldja?”
“Toss you a few—as in give you money? I told you I was
borrowing my boss’s car. I don’t even own a car. I have
twenty bucks to spend and that’s it.”
“Okay, okay. Sorry. Follow this road ‘til you get to the
hospital sign, then turn right. Turn left at the first
light and you’ll find it eventually.” No sooner had Don
finished speaking than he was asleep. Jany cranked up the
stereo and tried to enjoy herself. With the volume turned
up, she could pretend Don wasn’t even there. She could
pretend she was on a real date with a real man.
The
casino was a good forty miles away. When they were finally
walking through the doors, Don looked at Jany.
“I
don’t wanna mess with your gambling mojo, ya know?”
“I
don’t have enough money to even have a gambling mojo,
Don. If I lose my twenty bucks, I’m done.”
“Damn, I dunno know you can do that. Once I’m on a roll, I
can’t stop. My gramma was a gambler, maybe it’s in my
blood. She kept a gun in her purse and if you fucked with
her mojo, you were a goner. So we should probably just go
our separate ways. Don’t want any bad blood between us.”
Don laughed at his joke before he continued. Jany didn’t
find it so funny. “You got your phone, right, babe? I’ll
call you when I’m getting’ close to bein’ ready to go.”
Jany looked at her watch. Eleven p.m. Well, he couldn’t be
too terribly long—he had already said he had to get up at
six for work. He’d told her that when he was explaining
how if she didn’t get the dishes done after dinner, she
should feel free to do them after he left for work in the
morning, before she went home.
When her phone rang four hours later, Jany was slumped in
front of a penny slot machine with glazed eyes, robotically
pushing the “Repeat Bet” button over and over. She was
betting one line, one credit—a penny at a time. She’d
already brought her twenty bucks up to fifty and then back
down to nothing, because there were no restaurants, no
seating areas, nothing at all to do if she wasn’t gambling.
She’d reluctantly slipped another ten dollar bill into the
machine, but she was determined to make it last the rest of
the night. She answered her phone.
“Hey.”
“Hey, girlie girl. How’s it going?”
“You seem to be in a good mood. I’m okay.”
“Just checkin’ in. Where are you?”
“I’m, uh—in front of coat check? You know where that is?”
“Yeah. I’ll head over there in a few and play one or two
more games and then we’ll get going.”
Don
was soon intent on a slot machine a row or two behind Jany.
His one or two more games took another hour and a half.
Finally, Jany couldn’t take it anymore. Her burning eyes
were craving sleep, her empty stomach was churning, and
everything she could see or hear was irritating her. She
stood quietly behind Don for a moment to gather courage.
“Hey, you ready to go? I need to get outta here. I’m
beat.”
“Jus’ a minute.”
“Do
I have to remind you that I’m driving?”
“Is
that a threat, woman? You gonna leave me here?”
“It’s not a threat. I’m just saying that I am going to
leave and if you want to leave too, you should come with
me.”
“Goddamn. Awright, jus’ gimme a minute.”
They stopped off at a Denny’s on the way home because Don
was just as hungry as Jany. The conversation they had while
they ate was the best they’d had all night and Jany felt her
indignant anger dissipating a little. Don pointed Jany in
the right direction and then slept all the way back to his
apartment. Luckily, she mostly remembered where she was
going, but some of the anger seeped back into her system.
The
sensation of a stopping car was all it took to wake Don up.
Jany shut off the car and silently tried to decide what to
do next. He’d offered to let her stay the night, and he
probably expected her to do so, but the sun was already
coming up and Jany was afraid she’d wake up and find him
talking on the phone with some other chick again. She
wasn’t sure she could handle it again. And anyway, all she
really wanted was to just go home to bed so she could get
Mala’s car back to her at a decent hour.
“I
think—I think I’m just going home. If I sleep for a few
hours, I’ll just be more tired for the ride home. ‘Kay?”
“You can stay.”
“I
know I can. I just—I need to go home.” Now that Don
was half asleep and being all sweet, it was hard to resist
him.
“Awright. Whatever you want.” He shrugged and reached over
to hug her briefly. Jany watched him climb the stairs and
go inside before she took off. A minute later, her phone
rang.
“Hey, honey. Are you gone?”
“Huh? Of course I’m gone. I didn’t sit in your driveway
and pick my nose or something. Hey, aren’t you supposed to
be going to work anyway?”
“I
called in. I thought you were staying. You should. I
wanted to snuggle up with your fine body. It’s the best
thing in the world to be able to wake up and find someone in
bed with you.”
“I’m sure it is. I wouldn’t know, never done it.” He liked
her body. All night long, she hadn’t been sure. This knew
knowledge almost made her give in. But if he liked her that
much, he should have treated her like he did. And he
hadn’t. She gathered up her strength. “But I really need
to get home. Maybe some other time, ‘kay?”
Don
whispered his goodbye and hung up. Jany sighed and turned
up the radio. Just outside of town, as she was driving into
the sunrise on a highway flanked with thick woods, she saw a
billboard. On it, there was a picture of a fawn, light
brown and gently spotted. A hunter was taking aim at it,
but there was a bright red circle/cross symbol over him, the
universal symbol for “no.” There were words printed across
the top of the billboard: “Let ‘em go, let ‘em grow.”
Fitting. Exactly what she had to do with Don. Let him go,
let him grow.
