The Tyra
Show, It was an experience. When I saw an email in my mail box
from a Tyra Show producer I was a bit wary. I wondered what
kind of show would it be. I am quite picky about my
appearances. Things haven't always gone the way it was supposed
to and I didn't want to just be know as QUEEN RAQUI the 6'4
600lb squasher. Mind you I am not ashamed of my Queen Raqui
work. But to the rest of the world it will be seen as a big
joke. I want to be seen for everything I do. My writing, my
size activist work, my online magazine, my poetry. I do so many
things and I want to be seen as a whole not just some fat woman
who sits on people.
After talking to producers and be assured that they wanted
me to be featured for my work with Queen Raqui and my
LargeInCharge Magazine. I decided to take the plunge, this is
national English television. This could open more doors for me
and I would obviously get some attention. But most importantly
will I get the right attention? Will LargeInCharge be
mentioned? Will people want to know me as more than just the
Fat woman who makes some extra cash sitting on people?
With a little difficulty the show was set and I was going
to be on a majority of the show. I was quite happy and proud
that I was found this interesting. I was able to walk out on
the Tyra Run Way and strut my stuff. I was loving the audience
and it was a great feeling. I was actually a surprise to fellow
guest who made an appearance before, on the Tyra Show. Her name
is Gem and she started squashing her husband (Eddie) in private
and they both enjoyed it. She said I am her inspiration, that
because or me she is able to be squash her husband, and also be
proud of herself. Gem is a follower of LargeInCharge (My online
magazine for Size Acceptance and Empowerment) and she said that
it has helped her realize her beauty. I was so touched, while
yes I am told often how important my online magazine is, to hear
it on National Television was an experience I felt deeply. Even
when the woman who was the complete opposite of me (Yael - A
VERY SMALL VERY SLIM 88 pound) woman tried to bash me from the
audience and say I was fat and unhealthy. I had a come back for
her. My favorite part is a something I say very often. "I AM
FIVE TIMES MORE HUMAN, I DESERVE FIVE TIMES THE RESPECT!"
Because in truth if my Humanity could be counted in pounds I was
literally Five times her size!
After the show aired I had mixed
feelings. I was of course featured mostly for my Queen Raqui
work but I was supposed to be able to mention my online magazine
www.LargeInCharge.com
I was repeatedly told by producers to say the name of both my
sites. While yes I was aired as saying I am a size activist, and
the fact that I had an online magazine was mentioned through out
the show. I felt a bit hurt and dismayed that they cut out when
I said the URL of my site. I also noticed that in the Special
Thanks section,
www.LargeInCharge.com
was not displayed when I was told it would. Other women who came
on the show (Ms. Stacie, Mercedes, Trina) also have sites and no
mention of their sites were on the show. ( I have had the
confirmation of at least one other women that her site was said
in taping but not on the show). It leaves my mind to wander
over other Tyra Shows I have seen in the past. I remember one
especially because a Ex Pimp who had a stable of High Class Call
Girls was on a show not so long ago. And while his site was
bleeped many a time until he cooperated with the show. At the
end his new website which is a dating website was mentioned. My
heart hardened a bit thinking about that, if an EX PIMP got his
new Dating Website URL mentioned on the Tyra Show, why couldn't
they mention
www.LargeInCharge.com
. LargeInCharge is a FREE ONLINE MAGAZINE it empowers women and
men to live their lives. It has helped thousands of people over
the years. Is my LargeInCharge site not as worthy as an EX
PIMPS dating site? *SIGH*
Still I believe I was shown for who I am and all the Ladies
were showcased in a positive light. I was a bit down about not
meeting Tyra Banks herself. While yes I can imagine she is
quite the busy woman, and after a long day of taping shows she
must have wanted to just run to her dressing room, and get ready
to go home. I wish I could have met her and said hello, even
take a picture with her. She asked me questions during the
show, and shook our hands during the closing of the show then
she left promptly, I don't blame her. But I wish she would have
had a bit of time to greet us. I really would have liked to
tell her that her work with teen girls and body image is really
an important one that I appreciate. That I hope she continues
to have Plus Sized people on her shows and giving us some kind
of voice. Though I wonder what the voice will be. That if she
ever needed a big woman to speak to large framed girls I would
be happy to help. To let her know that yes I am more than Queen
Raqui and I am here to show the world that large women are doing
big things and I don't mean just with our bodies.
It left me with a bitter sweet feeling and while I can
understand why she probably didn't have time. A small part of
me wonders if it was just because we were not important enough
guests. I am sure if we were music artists or actors, much more
time would have been taken. While we are not famous according
to the rest of the world. In the BBW (Big Beautiful Woman)
Community in our own world we are similar to the Brittany Spears
of Hollywood. We are known and everyone knows our names. It
makes me wonder and I guess I might never really know why we
couldn't say Hello to Tyra. We may not be the most important
people in the world to some. But we are people. I can't say we
were treated badly in fact things went well. Over all I have to
say I am ok with this experience but still feeling a little
bitter.
Raqui
